Clean,Non Religious-Reads discussion

I do not care for 'love at first sight' stories where one or both of the couple are immediately thinking of marriage.Instant attraction is fine, but please no instant visions of 'forever'!

I also do not like long separation stories,or romances where the couple is being constantly separated.

Do not like age differences of over 5 years between the H/H.

H/H to have weird,unusual, or unpronounceable names!

Females that are TSTL[TOO STUPID TO LIVE!]or a doormat type.

My number one aversion is the wounded party that is too messed up to let go of the past and trust Mr. or Miss Right.

Such people in real life are enough to make the interested party go crazy,with their constant need to make the other person prove their love,and there is no reassuring them.They are best avoided!

I would not mind reading a book where Mr. or Miss Right sees that their love interest is just too crazy for them so they move on and give a much more worthy secondary character their heart,after they heal,of course,don't want no rebounds!

I have read too many romances where I felt that the hero or heroine was not good enough for the other,but there was a wonderful secondary character that would be more suitable,yet the author did not 'go there'!

So what things do you dislike seeing in a romance?

You snagged all the good (actually bad)ones!
But here's a pattern I've been noticing lately that irks me:
Heroine is an average or plain looking girl -- wait, stop, that's great. The world isn't comprised solely of supermodels, and yet we can all be in loving relationships.
But we bugs me is that repeatedly, the hero is this drop dead gorgeous guy.
If the author is trying to send the message not to judge a book by it's cover, than why does plain Jane only fall for the Greek idol?
(This is also so unrealistic. Often these books are categorized under YA contemporary, but in light of this issue they would fit better in the fantasy genre.)

Oh, and I dislike any female protagonist that's easy prey for a pretty face and smooth tongue.

You are soooo Right,Loren! The perfect looks are so unrealistic.I would be perfectly happy ready about two normal average people falling in love,or even some with physical handicaps.

I would love to read the love story of a blind person,for instance.

Christine wrote: "You are soooo Right,Loren! The perfect looks are so unrealistic.I would be perfectly happy ready about two normal average people falling in love,or even some with physical handicaps.

I would love ..."

I worked for years with children with special needs and their families, so I've naturally thought about incorporating that into my writing.

However, I try to avoid saturating my writing with my work experience. As I mentioned in another discussion, it seems unethical to me for a professional in the field to use their knowledge in such a manner.
But I would love to read a well researched novel (by an author who is not a mental health worker) featuring such relationships.

Another plot I dislike is when next door neighbors who grew up like siblings suddenly realize there is something "more" to their relationship.

I don't see how that can happen with someone you grew up with in such close proximity from day one, and I don't find the idea romantic at all.

That is another good point,and the childhood friendship into love is pretty unbelievable and sad.

If they never even dated others they could not even have a clue to the character/qualities or lack of them in any person.That is actually scary!!!

Christine wrote: "...the childhood friendship into love is pretty unbelievable and sad.

If they never even dated others they could not even have a clue to the character/qualities or lack of them in any person.That is actually scary..."

I recall a sociologist instructor who told of us some remote rural tribe he studied. In their culture, the bride-to-be was brought into her in-laws home at the tender age of six, to be "trained in" by her mother-in-law, till she was old enough to marry their son.
So basically husband and wife grew up together in the same family, almost like brother and sister.
Our instructor informed us that with the tribe's increasing exposure to the greater world, this practice was starting to cause real issues in marriages.
I can just imagine.

Loren, your comment earlier about why does the plain jane always end up with the Greek God it should go both ways...totally agree! I saw a quote on pinterest the other day that was a photo of a young man holding a handwritten sign that said "its just as hard for us to be Ken as it is for you to be Barbie." SO TRUE!

:)
The treasures one finds on pinterest...
Thanks for sharing!

I have another 'pet peeve' how about when there is a dumb misunderstanding between the couple that could be solved with simple communication but the author drags it out the entire book until the very end,and then with little explanation or effort they are suddenly 'over it' and go on to their HEA!

Before then, I have usually lost all respect for both of them and am past caring, or even wanting to see them get together! :[

Christine wrote: "I have another 'pet peeve' how about when there is a dumb misunderstanding between the couple that could be solved with simple communication but the author drags it out the entire book until the ve..."

I HATE that. I don't mind a little misunderstanding, but it has to be resolved in a reasonable amount of time. It CANNOT be the basis of the entire book, because then it just makes me mad.

Annette wrote: "Christine wrote: "I have another 'pet peeve' how about when there is a dumb misunderstanding between the couple that could be solved with simple communication but the author drags it out the entire..."

Yep,mad,that's exactly how I feel!

Dorcas wrote: "Loren, your comment earlier about why does the plain jane always end up with the Greek God it should go both ways...totally agree! I saw a quote on pinterest the other day that was a photo of a you..."

In general, I just don't like it when authors harp on the characters looks. Yes, they can notice that the other is good looking, but then if they carry on about how "he/she is so much more attractive than me, they could never love me," I find that irritating. Comparing levels of hotness just seems juvenile and shallow. And I love that pinterest quote you mentioned! It's so true.

Annette wrote: "Dorcas wrote: "Loren, your comment earlier about why does the plain jane always end up with the Greek God it should go both ways...totally agree! I saw a quote on pinterest the other day that was a..."

Well said.
Recently read "Flawless" with the hope that it would present a fresh look on this issue, but was so disappointed. Indeed, the heroine is flawed, but she falls for, guess who? The Greek god!Eerr...

My SIL in IN, has a newphew[her BIL's son] who is deaf,and her son and daughter love him dearly,they taught themselves sign language so they could converse with him,and my kids also did the same,though we only saw him once a year when we visited on vacation since we lived in a different state-OH.

Anyway,Charlie is now very happily married to a hearing girl and they have two children.I always thought his courtship and romance would be an interesting story. Plus I have always wanted to read a romance with a blind hero or heroine.

Beautiful story Christine. Thank you so much for sharing. I love these true life stories.

This is a great story -- why don't you go write it?

I think it is a beautiful story too,and I wish that I could write it,but I just don't have the self-discipline and organizational skills to write a book.

I am going to talk to my SIL about the possibility of her daughter writing the story of her cousin's romance.Especially since she recently became disabled from something like MS.It would be a great diversion for her,I am thinking.

Last night I was thinking about your story, and I recalled a striking couple I was acquainted with years ago. The husband was deaf, yet it was his wife (typical hearing girl), that taught him sign language (she had been studying sign language before she met him)! When he was a baby, his family decided that rather than them all learning sign language to communicate with him, he would learn to talk and lip read to communicate.
I'm not saying all deaf individuals (or families) have the ability to accomplish this, but I admire the patience and will of this family.
And isn't it ironic that he ended up with a girl who taught him sign language so he could work with deaf children?

Wow,yes,that is a wonderful story!
Charlie and his family learned sign language when he was very young,but I don't know the full story of who it was taught by.It seems he went to a school for the deaf most of his childhood,and he also learned lip reading.

I just remember that when we went to visit during spring or summer break,[they are 5 hours away] he came and went most days we were there since he only lived a few houses away,and of course he was very close to his cousins,and aunt and uncle.I was just always struck by how well he fit in and how natural it seemed to have him around.

I really don't like when huge, huge fights and misunderstanding happen because people just don't communicate some small piece of information. It happens a lot in books--and in life, I suppose--but it happens TOO much in romance.

Hi Melinda. WELCOME to the group! :D
I totally agree about lonnnnnng lasting misunderstandings that could easily be resolved by simple communication between the couple. Smacks too much of pride and stubbornness and tends to turn me against the characters.

Agreed on the arguments that go on and on. Just talk to each other for Pete's sake!

I also can't stand books so full of angst I get a headache. "Do I love him?" "Does she love me?" "I don't deserve her." Blah blah blah. Decide already. Take a chance already. There's enough of that in real life, and I want my heroes to have a better sense of self.

I recently read a book that was so full of angst I could hardly stand it. Barely finished, and probably should have just abandoned it. (It was also too full of sex. Barely enough story to string the sex scenes together. I'm so over that!)

Definitely will quit reading a "just shoot me now" ANGST-filled book! Nothing at all romantic about that nonsense! Stopped reading books with graphic sex scenes when I was in my 20's after just a few. Found either ridiculously unbelievable or just too crude/vulgar!

Misunderstanding that last the whole book are the WORST. That doesn't qualify as a conflict, certainly not one that could carry a book.
I also hate it when the girl is constantly harping on how GORGEOUS the man is, and "How can he possibly want plain old me?"
Also, when they've been kissing each other for a few weeks and the girls still wondering if he really has feelings for her... seriously, if you're in doubt and think that this guy is just stringing you along for fun, then you should kick him to the curb. Or just ASK.

These are great answers. I'm taking notes.

Re: Annette, I so agree with both of your peeves!

Hey, interesting discussion :-)

Plot devices I dislike in a romance, hmm . . .

Well, there are some plot devices I like more than others, but generally, writing and characterisation matter more to me than the story. I can enjoy almost any plot device if:

(a) it's written in an engaging and/or entertaining way, and
(b) if it pushes the characters to learn and grow, both as individuals and as a couple. 

The one plot device I do tend to avoid is prolonged love-triangle—more specifically, stories where one of the protagonists, usually the heroine, spends most of the book (and sometimes most of the series) agonising over two guys. 

If one guy is good and the other is clearly unworthy and still she goes on and on and on trying to decide between them—well, I'm sure you can figure out my state of mind. (Unless, maybe, the unworthy guy is really good at hiding his flaws). And if, even after pages and pages of deliberation, she chooses the unworthy guy—okay, let's not even go there. Lol.

If both guys are great, I have to hold myself back from getting attached to them (in case I end up rooting for the wrong guy). And if I can't let myself love the characters (or root for them), I can't enjoy the story. 

However, if I do end up loving the guys (or rooting for one of them), I feel so bad for the guy the heroine doesn't choose (unless, maybe, he gets another girl who's more appropriate for him), I can't feel happy for the guy she does choose (even if I was rooting for him). So I can't enjoy the ending.

Either way, I'm doomed. Lol.

The worst stories are where the heroine finally decides on a guy, but she still can't stop thinking about the other guy. Or where she's already with somone, but she's drawn towards another guy. So she dumps the first guy for the second one. And now she can't stop thinking about the first guy. So she leaves the second guy and returns to the first one. And the book or the series is still not over! So now, I have no idea which guy to root for, and I'm having a hard time admiring a heroine who's indecisive at best and fickle at worst. (And what about these oh-so-smitten guys who're willing to wait and wait and wait for the girl as she switches back and forth between them?!)

I've even heard of books where the heroine is with two guys at the SAME time. Definitely not my cup of tea.

There are people who do enjoy this plot device, though, and I respect their choice. After all, everyone is entitled to their own reading preferences. It's just not for me, that's all :-)

Such a good answer, Ramla, and I totally agree. I really, really, really, dislike love triangles and especially when the heroine goes with the least worthy guy!

C. wrote: "Such a good answer, Ramla, and I totally agree."

Thanks Chris :-)