Writing Passionates discussion

okaaay so this is the first draft i have of my Reborn query letter!! feedback, ¿por favor?


Dear [Agent:]:

When an evil spirit threatens her universe, immortal seventeen-year-old Kami must make a decision between her feelings and the safety of her entire world. Reborn, a young adult fantasy novel, is the story of her struggle. It is the first book in a proposed trilogy and consists of approximately 130, 000 words.

Two groups of immortal teenagers – the Creators and the Destroyers – have been battling for millennia, in an endless cycle of death and rebirth. Kami has been a Creator for five hundred years and has become a fierce and confident fighter in that time. But when Kami’s sister, Clio – who has reappeared as a Destroyer, a century after her supposed death – murders her brother, Kami must question everything she knows about trust and loyalty. Two months later, she meets eighteen-year-old Jack: a “Reborn”, or the newest reincarnation of an ancient Immortal spirit. When Jack joins Kami and the Creators in their battle against the Destroyers, Kami forms an immediate friendship with him. As her feelings for him grow stronger, so do his dark and unpredictable powers. As Jack and Kami learn the disturbing story of their intertwined past lives, they find out that a demonic spirit, Ravi, is raging inside of Jack. On a quest for revenge, Ravi threatens to take over Jack’s mind and, through him, conquer the entire Immortal world. Kami knows that the only way to save herself and the other Immortals is for her to kill Jack. The only problem: she’s falling in love with him.

I have written four novels including Reborn, but none have been published. The full manuscript of Reborn is available at your request. Thank you for your time and consideration.


Sincerely,


Brigid Gorry-Hines

Ok I like it. But I now have to go read Reborn now....

thanks!! anything i should fix??

I think it's great, Brigid. If you wanted to add something, I'd suggest letting the agent know why you're querying them specifically, or adding in a little bit more about yourself.

hmm maybe. idk, i keep getting different information. like the source i used to help me write this letter said NOT to say why you queried the specific agent. and it said that if you have limited or no publishing experience, you should just have a slightly longer synopsis and say less about yourself. AAH!! i don't know. ><

I'm not sure either, different agents require different things. It's SO hard!! GAH!!

Let's see ... how about finding a group of agents you want to query, and looking up what they like specifically and going off of that. Sometimes I adjusted my query to fit a specific agent, so that could be an option for you as well.

Some of them ask for longer queries, some of them want shorter ones. I'd search around and see what the agent wants, and if they don't specify anything, send them what you have.

Oh, Google is helpful! When I went to look up the agent's backgrounds that I queried I used Google.

Take Russell Galen for example, if I wanted to query him, I'd type in, "Russell Galen literary agent" and tons of stuff about him pops up.

yeah, it does depend on the agent. i'll do some research ... i have to actually choose an agent first though. :P blah. i have a small list of options so far. do you know of any good ones?

Hmm ... Kristin Nelson is good, writes very nice rejection letters. LOL And she replies quickly.

Um ... Marlene Stringer. Queried her. Responded quickly.

I can't think of any more off the top of my head, though....

SHE DOES??!!! LOL I can't wait to hear from Kristin! 3 more days and then I wait . . . :D

thanks kenzie! :) "writes very nice rejection letters" lol! good to know, since i'll probably get one >< haha

haha, good to know. :D

It's always nice when they're polite. :D

yup especially when you are all unhappy bc they just rejected you. It's always nice for them to say they hated it nicely. lol

yeah, but the thing about nice rejection letters is they seem almost more obnoxious than mean ones ... cuz you can TELL that they hated or at least disliked what you sent them, but they just won't say it! :P lol

Well, she didn't make it sound like she HATED it, she was just like, "I don't think this material is what I'm looking for at the present time."

lol, well it's not that she hated it necessarily. i'm just saying that they won't come out and say "NOT GOOD ENOUGH!!"

lol gah, it's driving me nuts!!! I need to know if she likes it or not!!

Patience, Cali! Patience. You'll get better at waiting in time. I queried this one agent about a month ago - no response as of yet. *sigh*

Well, they don't want to hurt our feelings. Plus, if they tell you your writing sucks, they get a bad rep. and then people won't send stuff to them. Which kind of hurts their bottom line.

sadness.


lol Kenzie

*sigh* well, as soon as my mom approves of my excerpt – which i spent, like, seven hours editing – i will send off my query! O_o *tries to stay positive*

You can do it!!

awww thanks. i hope so! eeeeekkk

:D good luck!

okaaay i sent it!!! XD
and thanks cali :)

"D

^_^