The Humour Club discussion

At what age should the little one's be flying the coop and making their own way in the world?


Today's world, in the 2000s, is far different than the utopia of the 1900's, when young people struck out at the ripe age of 18 to rent dingy apartments and start a life of their own.
Nowadays, with the cost of everything, and having to make your own dinner AND do laundry, kids are staying at home longer and longer...it is not uncommon for those in their early 30s to still be in Mom's basement.

Is this 'wrong' in your opinion. Or, is it the 'new reality'?

I could get really serious here and say that ideal of the 1900s wasn't quite the norm and often family homes were perpetually multi generational. But, due to events at the dinner table tonight , I'd like to propose that governments allow parents of obnoxious, sarcastic 13-year-old boys to force said boy out of the nest the first time the mother moves a picture so as to have room to bang her head upon the wall.

Since my oldest son has declared himself a philosophy major, I expect he will be with us for a good long while...possibly the rest of my life, or his, whichever comes first. And since the little one does everything his big brother does, well, let's just say I have NO plans for turning their bedrooms into offices or exercise rooms anytime soon.

Question for the older, er, I mean, mature generation out there. Are parents being too easy on their kids in this day and age?

Or is it just video games that are ruining the youth of today (and tomorrow)?

All of the above. Move 'em out at 13. And they are all spoiled, the little brats. Mine too. And video games will be the ruin of everything.

Today we had a surprise baby shower for this guy at my work who's wife is having a baby soon. Anyway, this got the older ladies talking about the kids of today and how ALL kids are out of control and there is no discipline...not like back in their day when kids respected elders.
So, it must be true, parents seem to be too lenient on their offspring in this day and age.

Still, I don't understand this trend. My parents were very easy going and I could have stayed around, had the run of the basement (even my own bathroom!), but, as soon as I could I left and never looked back. Even during summer break from University I didn't always move home.

Every generation since about 1000 BC has complained that the young generation is rude, out of control, and going to doom society. They probably griped before then, too. They just didn't write it down.

Do you think girls tend to move out earlier than boys?
I lived at home during college, but moved out a few months after graduation and I probably wouldn't have moved back home if you paid me.

In fact, I would have rather moved in with some loser than move back home again. Oh, wait...that's exactly what I did...

LOL, Melki! Come to think of it, even though I would have said my brothers were more independent, I moved out more completely at an earlier age than they did. I spent one college summer at home when I got tired of cooking at summer camps, but that was it. My brothers were in and out through the college years.

I guess it depends on the Mother. If you encourage a 'mama's boy', then the boy will stay longer (and may even bring in a girl or two).

I hate to shoot my gender down, but, I think girls tend to be more responsible with things like paying rent and buying food...hence, the ability to stay away from home.

I once lived with this guy who would go home every day or two with a bag of laundry and a bag of dirty dishes. He'd come back with clean laundry, clean dishes, and tupperware full of food...not sure if I would consider him actually 'moved out'.

I was astonished to learn that when my Dad was in college, it was routine to mail your laundry home. I guess they didn't have coin-op laundry then, and postage was cheaper than paying to have your laundry done.

Mail the laundry home? Can you imagine the smell of the post man's truck?

Lisa wrote: "Mail the laundry home? Can you imagine the smell of the post man's truck?"

Good point! And that was before plastic to seal it all up, too. They also wore clothes more before laundering back then, so I would assume it was stinkier. I don't envy my Grandma opening those packages, either! (Though she had 8 sons. She may have been inured by then, since Dad was right in the middle).

And somehow, we're back to "that teenage boy smell."

Melki wrote: "And somehow, we're back to "that teenage boy smell.""

You can't escape it.

Especially if you have teenaged boys.

On the other hand, I work with a lady who does not want her daughter to move out - ever! This lady claims if her daughter decides to go to college/university in another town, she will quit her job and move the family there. If this daughter ever gets married (which I doubt will happen with this potential mother in law) either they will move in with her...or she if fine living in the basement of the newly weds house.

I was shocked a few years ago to learn that among both the Latino and Philippine cultures around here it is very uncommon for girls, especially, to move out of the family home until they marry. And very often the newlyweds move in with one or the other sets of parents (well, around here no one can afford a home anyway, so that part's inevitable). I was sort of horrified, as to me it seems an essential part of growing up to go live on one's own. And my Mom is horrified at the idea of moving in with any of her children, not because she doesn't get along, but because she thinks young people (well compared to her we are still young) should not have to have a parent always about.

On the other hand, many of the parents I know engendered my envy when our kids were young, because they had a parent at home to babysit fix meals, etc.

I truly believe that my major obligation and responsibility as a parent is to raise my kids in such a way that when they leave the nest, they not only survive but thrive in nests of their own. The problem is my kids don't share my philosophy. But I have a backup plan. Should they ever assume my nest is theirs when they're adults, I shall do my best to never turn off a light, to leave a trail of detritus behind me everywhere, to have science experiments growing in glasses in my bedroom, and to stink to high heaven (yes, it comes back to odor again) unless they do my laundry.

All we need to do is downsize just a room or so. We're already pretty tight here.

One of my friends lived with her parents until her late twenties. She had so much money saved, she was contemplating buying some sort of franchise, but instead bought a house when she got married. After her divorce five years later, she moved her parents in with her. And, yes, they took care of her two kids while she went to work.

Whatever works, I guess.

The only problem is when one or more parties is unhappy with the situation.

My brother still lives with our mother at the age of 37. He's never cooked, never done laundry, never lifted a finger round the house as far as I can tell. Even when he went to university he went locally and returned at weekends to have his laundry done. Me, I went to the other end of the country for university and moved out permanently only a few months after I finished my degree. I wasn't going to live in the same house as him...

Sibling relationships being what they are, you are at least unlikely to have all your children at home for life.