Writing Help-Group For Everyone discussion

I need help on my story, Lost in Wonderland? I am lost. I don't know if I should give it more edits, and I am really lost!
I already revised, and edited, the Chapter1, but should I edit more?
What about Chapter2?
Help, please! I really need it! Here's the link. Please comment, and tell me what you think.
https://www.goodreads.com/story/show/...

Help!!!

I think you did a good job of portraying her mindset, mannerisms and behavior, but I feel more like some of these parts are "telling", not "showing", how she feels. Or maybe you meant that to happen. But, non-the-less, it's easily understandable what she's meant to be feeling.

I feel like you could hit a home-run with it as it is already. It has a nice hook; catches the reader's attention from start to finish. I recon you should leave it as it is. :)

Oh! And, also... Hope it doesn't look like i'm nitpicking, but where it says, "Cancer hadn't been something I often thought before my mother got it;", shouldn't it be 'thought of before'? If not, then ignore. :)

Hope this helps a bit.

Looking forwards to chapter 3!