Write, Wrote, Written discussion

Yep. Totally random....

I LOVE IT PLZ CONTINUE OMG I'M JUST... OMG!!! SUCH A CLIFFHANGER!! ♥♥♥

prologυe


A girl ran through the forest, her feet barely touching the ground. She jumped over roots with such grace, it appeared as if she was flying. She never stopped once, even when she was cut by a long thorn-covered tendral. She made the mistake to look behind her, and she tripped over a large root. Her foot was stuck, she realized, and there was no escape. She looked around in panic, expecting her pursuer to appear any minute. And she was right. A boy burst out of the bushes, his curly brown hair full of leaves and twigs. In his hand he held a wooden sword, and he ran towards the girl. "ARG!" He yelled, holding the wooden sword to the girl's throat. "I have caught you! Admit defeat, monster, or I will slay you!" The girl laughed, and jumped up. She had managed to free herself, and she pinned the boy to the ground with a force you wouldn't expect to see in a girl. "No Charles," The girl said, her night-black hair covering her face. "you must admit defeat, or I will slay you!" She said, grabbing the boy's wooden sword. Charles put his hand's in the air as a sign of defeat, and picked himself up from the ground with dignity. "It seems that you have defeated me once more, Princess." He said, bowing in defeat. "Oh, come on Charles, call me Catherine." The girl said with a smile. Despite their 6 year age difference, Catherine was almost as tall as Charles, and had pitch black hair that went down to her waist, with large, crystal-blue eyes. Charles, on the other hand, had red-brown hair that was very curly, with deep, fudge-brown eyes. They were quite the opposites, yet they were to be married when Charles became king. But for now they were friends, and that was just how they liked it.

Eʟʟα ⚯͛ wrote: "I LOVE IT PLZ CONTINUE OMG I'M JUST... OMG!!! SUCH A CLIFFHANGER!! ♥♥♥"

XD

Oh lol sry I thought it was a joke at first xD

XD Lol. It's fine. I just said that, 'cause I felt like it. XD XD XD XD

cнapтer one


Charles stood next to Catherine, holding back tears. In front of him was his father's lifeless body, ready to be cremated. He had died a month earlier in a careless battle, and they had been mourning since. He looked away as they lit his father's body, and did not look until the flames had engulfed the entire body. Catherine put her hand on his shoulder to comfort him, but her couldn't help but feel anger towards Catherine, for it had been one of her own people from her kingdom that had killed his father. He moved away from her, and Catherine's hand fell back to her side. He felt guilty about what he had done, but soon anger and grief clouded his thoughts once more. He turned his back to everyone in the room, and although they offered him words of reassurance and comfort, the pain in his chest would not cease. He had been extremely close to his father, and he could not accept the fact that he was gone. He exited the room, and ran through the chambers. His feet led him to the garden, and he sat there in complete silence. Je heard someone walking through the gardens, but he didn't look up until he saw the elegant black dress in front of him. Catherine stood in front of him, worry and sadness in her eyes. She sat down next to Charles, and took his hand. "Charles..." She began, but he looked away from her. He expected her to leave, but she stayed. "Charles." She said, more authority in her voice. He looked at her, and he found comfort in her blues eyes. "I know how hard this must be for you." She said, moving closer to him. "I felt the same way when I lost my mother." Catherine continued, pain and grief in her voice. "But you must put aside your feelings; you are going to become king soon." Her words hit him with surprise, for he had forgotten that he was to become king in 3 short days. He cupped his head in his hands, trying to take his friend's advice. "Oh, Catherine..." Charles said, looking at her. "I don't know what to do!" He said, throwing his hands into the air. "I'm not ready to be king!" He said, worry in his voice. Or to marry you... he thought to himself. Catherine put her hand on his back, looking into Charles's eyes. "Don't worry, we'll find a way."

I think it definitely has a great plot. Although it could use some more of an emotional appeal. You know, like, dive deep into your characters feelings. But I still really like it.
I will definitely be looking for more of your writings.

I think you need to space your sentences a little bit more. Like, make your paragraphs a bit shorter, I love the plot so far, but maybe try like Ravanna said, go deeper. We barely know the characters, it would be helpful to show their feelings a bit more, and to develop them.