Nothing But Reading Challenges discussion
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Everything I Never Told You, by Celeste Ng (Anything Goes BOM) Start Date: December 12, 2015
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At NRBC we use a more structured approach to our BOMs. We have a discussion leader and a reading date is set to start the book. A reading schedule is posted prior to the start date and discussion questions are posted each day regarding that section of the book.
More info under spoiler
(view spoiler)
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Date Chapters Pages PPDQs
Dec 12 1-2 1-56 Victoria - Anubis
Dec 13 3-4 57-101 Kenya - Bastet
Dec 14 5-6 102-157 ♦Ashley♦ - Sekhmet
Dec 15 7-8 158-216 Kelly - Coyote
Dec 16 9-12 217-end Karen Michele - Moirai
Breakdown based on this paperback version of the book
*PPDQs = Person Posting Discussion Questions
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For current BOM (Book of the Month) discussions
Writing a day's worth of discussion questions = 40 points
Participating in a current BOM (participating in discussion) = 20 points
NOTE: We will accept one team member per book per team for writing a days DQs. If, by three days prior to the BOM starting, we don't have enough volunteers to write all DQs, then we will let more than one team member per team write questions. If we have more people than days sign up (prior to 3 days before start date) we will randomise the volunteers to determine those who can write DQs
Discussion Question Volunteers:
(view spoiler)
Team Sphynx here. I'd like to sign up for DQs.
I will be reading this BOM - Team Moirai
(team Odin)I would like to volunteer for DQs.
I volunteer for DQs! -- Team Moirai captain
Me!! Team Bastet! I don't care what day but I don't want to go first! :)
Teddie wrote: "I can do DQs - Team Sphynx."HI Teddie!!*waves*
I will sign up for DQ's please. Team Flidais
I will sign up for this one and volunteer to write questions. Team Senda
(team Wandijna)I'd like to volunteer for DQs.
I've been wanting to read this one for a while! I'd like to do a set of DQs if there's room for me! (I'm team Morrigan)
I'll volunteer for DQs for team Brighid.
I volunteer for Team Anubis to write discussion questions
I volunteer to write discussion questions! Team hades.
Hi,I'd like to volunteer for DQs as well, my team is rainbow snake. First time, if possible, I'd like to be the first cap of the rank
I'd like to volunteer for DQ's also. Valkyries team
I will give this one a go and I volunteer for DQ's (team Athena)
Moderators of NBRC wrote: "Tower Teams Points for BOMs
For current BOM (Book of the Month) discussions
Writing a day's worth of discussion questions = 40 points
Participating in a current BOM (participating in discussio..."
Hi,
My team (rainbow snake) has been disbanded and I've gone up in Bastet. Kenya from our Bastet team has already volunteered for the DQs, so I will be withdrawing so she has a good chance.
Thank you
I want to read this and I'll volunteer for DQs - Moirai
This looks like an interesting read! Maybe i'll find it before the 12th lol
Fingers crossed I can get this from the library before next weekend, but if I am reading the info from them correctly I might just luck out.Fingers crossed.
If so I could be back-up for questions for Coyote if Kelly can't for some reason.
I would like to volunteer for DQ - Team Lir
I'd like to volunteer for questions - Team Raven.
I'm in too, and would like to volunteer for DQ - Team Sedna
I would like to join you on this. I've been wanting to read this book for a while.
So, I figured I could start early. I almost growled when I arrived home this morning because I had to stop reading.
*sigh*
My hold at the library will be ready on Monday - Pretty decent timing!
Such a fantastic book! I actually gave this to my mom for Christmas last year after I read it, am I allowed to reread if it's been over a year??? Maybe I will :-) if allowed ;-)Should really make for a good discussion, actually recommended it to my book group, but sadly they didn't take my recommendation, LOL!
12/12-- Day 1 Discussion Questions Chapters 1-21. Do you like the book so far? Why did you decide to read it? Is this a genre you normally read?
2. Lydia dies May 3rd, 1977 (first lines of the book so this isn't a spoiler) and Lydia's parents met in September 1957. What differences and similarities do you see in regards to race and gender relations between these two time frames in the book (or in history, if you looked it up)? What part does it play in the Lee family dynamics?
3. What do you think of Lydia's mother, Marilyn's description of her first born daughter's first steps and the line "...Lydia, still small enough to cradle, had secrets" ? How is Lydia different than her siblings?
4. How does your high school experience compare with Lydia's? Why do you think Lydia doesn't have any "real" friends? What other things do you think Lydia is letting her parents believe are true to meet her parents' expectations?
5. Why do you think Lydia's siblings, Nath and Hannah, do not tell their parents about Lydia's friendship with Jack? Do you think Jack is involved in Lydia's disappearance and/or death?
6. Who do you think Hannah saw/heard on Wednesday at 2AM?
7. What do you think of Lydia's body being found at a lake when Lydia could not swim?
8. What do you think of the first lines of Chapter 2, "How did it begin? Like everything: with mothers and fathers... Because more than anything, her mother had wanted to stand out; because more than anything, her father wanted to blend in. Because those things had been impossible" ? Where are you on the personality spectrum of wanting to stand out versus wanting to blend in?
9. What do you think of Marilyn and James' courtship and marriage? What do you think happened in 1966 that made Marilyn disappear for a few days and do you think it is related to Lydia's disappearance and death?
Good questions! I can't answer all of them, because this is a re-read for me.Something that I was very curious about where the racial relations, especially in 1977, where I grew up and went to school Southern California, nobody would pay attention to whether you are Asian, Mexican, black, white, or green, we just were everything, so I found it A bit on relatable. Perhaps in the Midwest where this takes place it was more like this???
As far as my personality, I'm a bit of both, sometimes I like attention, and sometimes I like to blend in, it depends on whether or not I'm comfortable in my situation.
This is going to make for a very interesting conversation in the end. So many layers, can't wait to unwrap them again :-)
12/12-- Day 1 Discussion Questions Chapters 1-21. Do you like the book so far? Why did you decide to read it? Is this a genre you normally read?
I am really enjoying it. I was drawn to it because of the Chinese angle. I've been interested in Chinese immigrants' lives in Western societies, because one of my best friends in high school was Chinese and it was totally foreign to me then and still is now :) I was also intrigued about the blend of both cultures in this marriage
I usually read crime/thriller/mysteries
2. Lydia dies May 3rd, 1977 (first lines of the book so this isn't a spoiler) and Lydia's parents met in September 1957. What differences and similarities do you see in regards to race and gender relations between these two time frames in the book (or in history, if you looked it up)? What part does it play in the Lee family dynamics?
I think that the author really captures the differences in society expectations in those eras.
3. What do you think of Lydia's mother, Marilyn's description of her first born daughter's first steps and the line "...Lydia, still small enough to cradle, had secrets" ? How is Lydia different than her siblings?
She seems to have been the favored child by her mother. Her mother really pinned all her hopes on Lydia to fulfill what she was unable to fulfill.
4. How does your high school experience compare with Lydia's? Why do you think Lydia doesn't have any "real" friends? What other things do you think Lydia is letting her parents believe are true to meet her parents' expectations?
I found it so sad that she had to make up friends on the phone. What a child will do to ensure their parents are happy. These parents have such high expectations of their children and Lydia definitely feels that heavily
4. Why do you think Lydia's siblings, Nath and Hannah, do not tell their parents about Lydia's friendship with Jack? Do you think Jack is involved in Lydia's disappearance and/or death?
I think they are protecting Jack. I don't think he has anything to do with her death. So far, I actually think she's committed suicide.
5. Who do you think Hannah saw/heard on Wednesday at 2AM?
I don't know, but I'm intrigued.
6. What do you think of Lydia's body being found at a lake when Lydia could not swim?
It made me immediately think that she'd committed suicide due to the pressures by her parents
7. What do you think of the first lines of Chapter 2, "How did it begin? Like everything: with mothers and fathers... Because more than anything, her mother had wanted to stand out; because more than anything, her father wanted to blend in. Because those things had been impossible" ? Where are you on the personality spectrum of wanting to stand out versus wanting to blend in?
I am somewhere int he middle, but tend to always stand out. I am a rather outgoing, extrovert person :)
8. What do you think of Marilyn and James' courtship and marriage? What do you think happened in 1966 that made Marilyn disappear for a few days and do you think it is related to Lydia's disappearance and death?
I was very surprised about how straight forward Marilyn was with James and that she went for her professor as a student. It feels a bit weird, but for some reason also as rather common in the 1960s
12/12-- Day 1 Discussion Questions Chapters 1-21. Do you like the book so far? Why did you decide to read it? Is this a genre you normally read? I haven't decided if I like it or not yet. I picked it up because it was a BoM, and I'm open to trying new genres sometimes. I will say though - it seems like this group is drawn to books about murdered, lost, or messed up children when it comes to BotM.
2. Lydia dies May 3rd, 1977 (first lines of the book so this isn't a spoiler) and Lydia's parents met in September 1957. What differences and similarities do you see in regards to race and gender relations between these two time frames in the book (or in history, if you looked it up)? What part does it play in the Lee family dynamics? I do enjoy this part. I think the author picked a perfect section of generations to be able to weave race relations in America into the story.
3. What do you think of Lydia's mother, Marilyn's description of her first born daughter's first steps and the line "...Lydia, still small enough to cradle, had secrets" ? How is Lydia different than her siblings? Nothing really. This felt like one of those times an author tries to use poetic words to make a deep point that they don't even have, but if it sounds deep enough then it must be good...
4. How does your high school experience compare with Lydia's? Why do you think Lydia doesn't have any "real" friends? What other things do you think Lydia is letting her parents believe are true to meet her parents' expectations? There hasn't really been enough explanation about her actual high school experience to say one way or another. It's all from others perspectives, and those are too brief to know if the narrator can be trusted.
4. Why do you think Lydia's siblings, Nath and Hannah, do not tell their parents about Lydia's friendship with Jack? Do you think Jack is involved in Lydia's disappearance and/or death? No idea.
5. Who do you think Hannah saw/heard on Wednesday at 2AM? No idea.
6. What do you think of Lydia's body being found at a lake when Lydia could not swim? No idea.
7. What do you think of the first lines of Chapter 2, "How did it begin? Like everything: with mothers and fathers... Because more than anything, her mother had wanted to stand out; because more than anything, her father wanted to blend in. Because those things had been impossible" ? Where are you on the personality spectrum of wanting to stand out versus wanting to blend in? I do actually think this was a beautiful bit of prose. For me, I fluctuate depending on the circumstances and audience. I can go either way.
8. What do you think of Marilyn and James' courtship and marriage? What do you think happened in 1966 that made Marilyn disappear for a few days and do you think it is related to Lydia's disappearance and death? I thought the kissing thing was silly. That doesn't just happen like that. *sigh*
1. Do you like the book so far? Why did you decide to read it? Is this a genre you normally read?I started reading "Everything I Never Told You" due to TTIV challenge. This is a book I wouldn't normally pick up as it doesn't belong to my preferred genres. The writing is intriguing, but I can't decide yet if I like it or not. It needs some getting used to for me.
2. Lydia dies May 3rd, 1977 (first lines of the book so this isn't a spoiler) and Lydia's parents met in September 1957. What differences and similarities do you see in regards to race and gender relations between these two timeframes in the book (or in history, if you looked it up)? What part does it play in the Lee family dynamics?
Marilyn fought all her life with the fact she was born a woman, a smart and ambitious woman. Same but completely different was the struggle of James Lee, he was a man all right, but his face was alien. Their meeting back in 1957 was pretty much a bond waiting to happen and they clicked instantly together. Anti-miscegenation laws were only declared to be unconstitutional by the supreme court in 1967, so race was undeniably a powerful component in this family's dynamics. The children of an interracial marriage would have double the issues fitting in than a normal teenager in the late '70s. Lydia's family shaped her personality and her fate. I would guess intolerance or indifference sealed her death as well.
3. What do you think of Lydia's mother, Marilyn's description of her first born daughter's first steps and the line "...Lydia, still small enough to cradle, had secrets"? How is Lydia different than her siblings?
It was a bit disturbing reading a mother thinking this way about her child. It was probably the fact that Lydia was her first girl. Her childhood probably was filled with a loneliness she couldn't shake off and her wondering about her own child reflected this fact. Was Lydia like her? Ambitious and capable? Or was she like her mother, a housewife born to hide behind the shadows of the men in her life. Lydia was crucial in Merilyn's development as a mother and as a person. Nathan was a boy, Hannah came last when hopes and dreams had already been laid on the shoulders of Lydia.
4. How does your high school experience compare with Lydia's? Why do you think Lydia doesn't have any "real" friends? What other things do you think Lydia is letting her parents believe are true to meet her parents' expectations?
My high school experience was totally different than Lydia's, first of all, I didn't go to high school in America and not in the 1970's. Teenagers will always behave like teenagers though so I can relate. Teens are cruel to "different". I was thankfully plain, but I could see the behaviour towards fat children, or ugly children, or foreign-looking children, or different religion children... The need to belong is enormous at this age. Introvert teenagers with a social stigma don't really fair well in this environment. And with parents so determined to fit in and/or stand out Lydia had no choice but to pretend. I would guess her all life was problems hidden beneath the carpet, a lonely teenager is probably the loneliest creature alive.
5. Why do you think Lydia's siblings, Nath and Hannah, do not tell their parents about Lydia's friendship with Jack? Do you think Jack is involved in Lydia's disappearance and/or death?
I think their parents aren't the listening kind. They are rigid in their roles and I can't see any parent-child friendship developing for any of their kids. Lydia had an extra burden on her shoulders as she was the "favourite", the one that had to look good instead of just being good. Jack might be the catalyst in some way. I don't really believe this "bad boy" picture Nathan is painting. Jack is as stigmatised as the Lee family though his crime is his parents divorce.
6. Who do you think Hannah saw/heard on Wednesday at 2 AM?
No clue. Jack? I hope we learn soon enough.
7. What do you think of Lydia's body being found at a lake when Lydia could not swim?
Her fear of water is alien to me, I can't imagine anyone so afraid of swimming. Was it a poetic suicide? Was it a truth or dare kind of challenge that got her in the lake, or a test of trust to someone with her? I can't begin to speculate as I know close to nothing of the real Lydia. We only got glimpses of what her family thought of her.
8. What do you think of the first lines of Chapter 2, "How did it begin? Like everything: with mothers and fathers... Because more than anything, her mother had wanted to stand out; because more than anything, her father wanted to blend in. Because those things had been impossible" ? Where are you on the personality spectrum of wanting to stand out versus wanting to blend in?
It was beautifully written. Both parents wanted what they couldn't really have and trapped their children in the middle. I'm in the middle too I guess, I like being "special" and "unique" and all that pretty things but too much attention cripples me. That's the curse and the blessing of an unimportant middle-grounder like me.
9. What do you think of Marilyn and James' courtship and marriage? What do you think happened in 1966 that made Marilyn disappear for a few days and do you think it is related to Lydia's disappearance and death?
It was a bit rushed for my tastes, but it had a "meant-to-be" flavour that makes you go "Oohhh..." :P
Merilyn was too oppressed to be willing to back down from an argument, this in addition to their different takes on life (blend in/stand out thing) would most certainly cause a rift to develop. They managed to sort it out and that was a strong cornerstone for their relationship.
I hope it isn't related to Lydia's disappearance.
12/12-- Day 1 Discussion Questions Chapters 1-21. Do you like the book so far? Why did you decide to read it? Is this a genre you normally read?
So far I'm liking it, it's an easy enough reading style and I do enjoy historical family type genre.
2. Lydia dies May 3rd, 1977 (first lines of the book so this isn't a spoiler) and Lydia's parents met in September 1957. What differences and similarities do you see in regards to race and gender relations between these two time frames in the book (or in history, if you looked it up)? What part does it play in the Lee family dynamics?
There are so many differences, yet some things still haven't really changed within daily life and the feeling of alienation.
3. What do you think of Lydia's mother, Marilyn's description of her first born daughter's first steps and the line "...Lydia, still small enough to cradle, had secrets" ? How is Lydia different than her siblings?
The secrets indicate to me that her parents have embedded them in her. I agree that Lydia seems to have been placed with a heavy burden of parents expectations or lost dreams.
4. How does your high school experience compare with Lydia's? Why do you think Lydia doesn't have any "real" friends? What other things do you think Lydia is letting her parents believe are true to meet her parents' expectations?
High school are tough years, yet can be wonderful years. I think Lydia didn't want to show that she wasn't succeeding socially in school or having issues, their expectations are high. Lydia is not living her life in a way that she believes she can share with her family.
4. Why do you think Lydia's siblings, Nath and Hannah, do not tell their parents about Lydia's friendship with Jack? Do you think Jack is involved in Lydia's disappearance and/or death?
I think there is both a concern for betrayal of Lydia's secret and a bit of letting their parents down by not sharing the information sooner. I'm not sure about Jack yet.
5. Who do you think Hannah saw/heard on Wednesday at 2AM? Not sure...
6. What do you think of Lydia's body being found at a lake when Lydia could not swim?
Seems like she's went to the extreme in whatever she's running from.
7. What do you think of the first lines of Chapter 2, "How did it begin? Like everything: with mothers and fathers... Because more than anything, her mother had wanted to stand out; because more than anything, her father wanted to blend in. Because those things had been impossible" ? Where are you on the personality spectrum of wanting to stand out versus wanting to blend in?
Definitely a snapshot in our society belief system at the time, and the weight of that world that was put on Lydia's shoulders. I'm about middle.
8. What do you think of Marilyn and James' courtship and marriage? What do you think happened in 1966 that made Marilyn disappear for a few days and do you think it is related to Lydia's disappearance and death?
I liked the insight this gave into Marilyn and James and how they fit together, this chapter made me more intrigued about the book as a whole. Very curious about Marilyn's disappearance, I have no idea.
1. Do you like the book so far? Why did you decide to read it? Is this a genre you normally read?I am really liking the book so far, it is interesting and beautifully written. It was highly-rated on a friend's shelf and then when it was chosen as BOM, I decided to read it now. I tend to prefer and read more literary fiction books
2. Lydia dies May 3rd, 1977 (first lines of the book so this isn't a spoiler) and Lydia's parents met in September 1957. What differences and similarities do you see in regards to race and gender relations between these two time frames in the book (or in history, if you looked it up)? What part does it play in the Lee family dynamics?
It is a fascinating idea. We basically get to see 3 different generations' perspectives, 1950's, 1970's and the readers'. In the 1950s, biracial marriages were illegal and it was literally dangerous. In the 1970s, the Lee children were probably the only biracial children in their town and community, so they were literally having to pave the way for their existence, in a way.
3. What do you think of Lydia's mother, Marilyn's description of her first born daughter's first steps and the line "...Lydia, still small enough to cradle, had secrets" ? How is Lydia different than her siblings?
I liked this line. I think it is more about the mother than the child. I think the author is commenting on the common misconception that a bond between a mother and child is somehow instantly perfect, mythical, and all-knowing. Many mothers do not feel this instant bond and such unrealistic expectations can lead to feelings of guilt and shame and even post-partum depression. Many mothers do not know how to soothe their infant and are frightened but do not know how to express this. I think the author is saying we are all ultimately mysteries to ourselves and no relationship, not even the closest ones, will ultimately know all of our secrets.
4. How does your high school experience compare with Lydia's? Why do you think Lydia doesn't have any "real" friends? What other things do you think Lydia is letting her parents believe are true to meet her parents' expectations?
It is sad. I attended a rural school in Kentucky in the late 90s/early 00s. I was friends with several Asian students. I was close friends with one, but another always commented that she felt left out that there were not more Korean students. They did sometimes experience racist comments.
4. Why do you think Lydia's siblings, Nath and Hannah, do not tell their parents about Lydia's friendship with Jack? Do you think Jack is involved in Lydia's disappearance and/or death?
I don't know, I feel like maybe Lydia's parents want her to be the "model minority" and maybe do not want her dating or doing typical teenager things. So the siblings do not tell them. I do not think Jack was involved in her death, but I do think he maybe knows her better than her family does.
5. Who do you think Hannah saw/heard on Wednesday at 2AM?
Lydia and Jack?
6. What do you think of Lydia's body being found at a lake when Lydia could not swim?
It is sad. I hope foul play did not happen to her.
7. What do you think of the first lines of Chapter 2, "How did it begin? Like everything: with mothers and fathers... Because more than anything, her mother had wanted to stand out; because more than anything, her father wanted to blend in. Because those things had been impossible" ? Where are you on the personality spectrum of wanting to stand out versus wanting to blend in?
It is a beautiful line. A lot of us think we have "free will" but societal and family expectations shape us a lot more than we know.
I am a mixture. I am introverted and don't like being the center of attention, so I do try to blend in. But I also do not ever go along with a crowd, particularly if that crowd is being mean or sexist or racist, so in that way, I will stand up for a cause or vulnerable people.
8. What do you think of Marilyn and James' courtship and marriage? What do you think happened in 1966 that made Marilyn disappear for a few days and do you think it is related to Lydia's disappearance and death?
It seemed kind of weird and forced to me honestly. I think Marilyn is not happy with her marriage and being a mother.
12/12-- Day 1 Discussion Questions Chapters 1-21. Do you like the book so far? Why did you decide to read it? Is this a genre you normally read?
--I was really interested in the mystery of Lydia's disappearance in the beginning of the book, but a little disappointed when the book veered so far into the past to the parent's courtship. I really just picked this book because of Tower Teams - I don't usually enjoy books this close to contemporary.
2. Lydia dies May 3rd, 1977 (first lines of the book so this isn't a spoiler) and Lydia's parents met in September 1957. What differences and similarities do you see in regards to race and gender relations between these two time frames in the book (or in history, if you looked it up)? What part does it play in the Lee family dynamics?
--It's interesting because so much changed in those 20 years but the family is still shaped and affected by the parents having courted and married in 1957. If they had met in 1977, would their attitudes and paranoia for their daughter's social life been different? Of course, so it all plays a role in the story.
3. What do you think of Lydia's mother, Marilyn's description of her first born daughter's first steps and the line "...Lydia, still small enough to cradle, had secrets" ? How is Lydia different than her siblings?
--I have 3 kids and I've never thought anything so weird about my kids when they were little, so I couldn't relate at all - babies with secrets? Nope. Babies have gas. Yes. I don't think Lydia is different from her siblings but for some reason Lydia is obsessed with making her more special. Again, I have 3 kids and I couldn't relate at all.
4. How does your high school experience compare with Lydia's? Why do you think Lydia doesn't have any "real" friends? What other things do you think Lydia is letting her parents believe are true to meet her parents' expectations?
--Most high schoolers are testing out being an adult, an individual and how far they can push their parents neverending love. Lydia was doing the opposite of all this.
4. Why do you think Lydia's siblings, Nath and Hannah, do not tell their parents about Lydia's friendship with Jack? Do you think Jack is involved in Lydia's disappearance and/or death?
--I've already finished the book so I can't really answer this well but it seems Nath and Hannah can't be any more honest with their parents than Lydia could be.
5. Who do you think Hannah saw/heard on Wednesday at 2AM?
...
6. What do you think of Lydia's body being found at a lake when Lydia could not swim?
--When I read this part I just wanted to get on with and find out how she got there.
7. What do you think of the first lines of Chapter 2, "How did it begin? Like everything: with mothers and fathers... Because more than anything, her mother had wanted to stand out; because more than anything, her father wanted to blend in. Because those things had been impossible" ? Where are you on the personality spectrum of wanting to stand out versus wanting to blend in?
--I just want to blend in but I'm pretty weird.
8. What do you think of Marilyn and James' courtship and marriage? What do you think happened in 1966 that made Marilyn disappear for a few days and do you think it is related to Lydia's disappearance and death?
--I wasn't a big fan of Marilyn and James' courtship because it all felt rushed.
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So far this is the kind of book I really enjoy and it is going to be hard to keep to the reading schedule here. :) I want to know what happened - what happened to Lydia, is her death going to be solved, what happened to Marilyn in 1966, where did she go, why did she come back, what is going to happen to this family in the future. Great start so far.
Nothing But Reading Challenges
Books mentioned in this topic
Everything I Never Told You (other topics)Everything I Never Told You (other topics)
This thread is to discuss Everything I Never Told You by Celeste Ng. Be prepared for spoilers
Synopsis:
Lydia is dead. But they don’t know this yet . . . So begins this debut novel about a mixed-race family living in 1970s Ohio and the tragedy that will either be their undoing or their salvation. Lydia is the favorite child of Marilyn and James Lee; their middle daughter, a girl who inherited her mother’s bright blue eyes and her father’s jet-black hair. Her parents are determined that Lydia will fulfill the dreams they were unable to pursue—in Marilyn’s case that her daughter become a doctor rather than a homemaker, in James’s case that Lydia be popular at school, a girl with a busy social life and the center of every party.
When Lydia’s body is found in the local lake, the delicate balancing act that has been keeping the Lee family together tumbles into chaos, forcing them to confront the long-kept secrets that have been slowly pulling them apart.