Editio Self-Publishing discussion

I'm trying to nail down the back cover copy for my Tudor-era novel, Jane the Quene. I've already had my critique group (who read the book seven pages at a time) weigh in, but now I'm looking for people who are completely outside of it - I want to know if this makes you want to read the book!!

Anything you say will be very much appreciated - good or bad!


All Jane Seymour wants is a husband; but when she catches the eye of a volatile king, she is pulled deep into the Tudor court’s world of plot and intrigue.

* * *

England. 1535. Jane Seymour is 27 years old and increasingly desperate for the marriage that will provide her a place in the world. She gets the perfect opportunity to make a name for herself when the court visits Wolf Hall, the Seymour ancestral manor. With new poise born from this opportunity, it seems certain that her efficiency and diligence will shine through and finally attract a suitor.

Meanwhile, King Henry VIII is 45 and still has no son. He left his first wife, a princess of Spain, changing his country’s religion in the process, to marry Anne Boleyn -- but she too has failed to deliver the promised heir. As Henry begins to question whether he will always be cursed, Jane Seymour’s honesty and innocence conjure redemption. Thomas Cromwell, an ambitious clerk who has built a career on strategically satisfying the King’s desires, sees in Jane the perfect vehicle to calm the political unrest that threatens the country: he engineers the plot that ends with Jane becoming the King’s third wife.

Jane sees herself as virtuous and her actions as justified, but early miscarriages shake her confidence and hopes. How can a woman who has done nothing wrong herself deal with the guilt of how she unseated her predecessor?

Are you still looking for feedback?

I love historical fiction, and Jane Seymour would be a fun protagonist! I especially like that you go into her self-doubt and how infertility and loss reinforce that to her - a common belief of the time.

I feel like the middle paragraph gets a little too bogged down with details. Can we trim it so it flows very lightly? With historical fic especially, which is so rich in detail and characters, trying to get everything into the jacket copy can easily overwhelm your reader. I would drop the second sentence (about Anne Boleyn, it's not necessary) and reword slightly so that the sentence about Thomas Cromwell connects directly to the previous sentences about Jane's role in filling Henry's desire for a son. Then you have one continuous theme, presented in a paragraph that still showcases the twists and turns.

A couple of places have slightly awkward phrasing, but nothing is grammatically incorrect. The sentence that begins, "With new poise..." is a bit overwritten, it would benefit from changing out or removing a few of the flowery adjectives. "Jane Seymour's honesty and innocence conjure redemption" is a beautiful metaphor, but the way the sentence is used here the meaning is lost. Something more along the lines of "meeting Jane renews his hope."

Overall you've done a really nice job! I'd buy it. Your writing is clear and you communicate the narrative well, ending on an emotionally charged conflict. I think you'll draw readers in, perhaps especially women who seek to connect with the desperation, ambition, and shame embodied by Jane. I wish you all the best, it sounds wonderful!

Thank you so very much, I so appreciate the answer and your kind words about my writing! Your comments were spot on - most of them I already addressed: Jane the Quene came out just five days ago!!

Oh congratulations!! That's wonderful news, you should be very proud!

Sonnet wrote: "Oh congratulations!! That's wonderful news, you should be very proud!"

I am so thrilled....and already working on the sequel! ;)

Atta girl!! I wish you amazing sales numbers :) Congrats again!

Sonnet wrote: "Atta girl!! I wish you amazing sales numbers :) Congrats again!"
:)