Our Shared Shelf discussion

First I want to thank Ms Watson for starting this book club; what a brilliant and unifying idea! I wanted to hear people's thoughts on the dedication of this book to the doctor who performed Gloria Steinem's abortion before her trip to India in 1957. My personal thought is that this dedication is, in itself, and act of revolution. Goosebumps ran up my arms when I read it. Abortion is still such a controversial topic that few women are willing to expose themselves to backlash and hate by claiming their abortions in a positive light. While it may not have been an easy decision, Steinem knows that her life would have unfolded much differently had she chosen to become a mother at that time. Her return to this idea in the first chapter was equally as profound. When her mother remarks that had she fulfilled her dreams and moved to New York Steinem would never have been born, Steinem reflects, "but you would have been born instead." This choice of selfhood over motherhood is one we are still coming to grips with as women, but one which I feel is worthy of further exploration.

I agree, the dedication really moved me and made me feel powerful just for having read it! I appreciate your connection of that to the quote about her mother and selfhood. I had the same thought.

I think, as least for me in the U.S., we are really only recently achieving a level of acceptance of women as mothers AND individuals. And it also depends on your class/occupation. My family is working class, so my mother still worked. But if she hadn't needed to work, I don't know what she would have chosen to do... I think she likes work for the social aspect, so maybe she would have worked anyway, but if she had grown up in an upperclass family, she may have thought differently about it. Not to mention, an entirely different set of social opportunities would have been open to her. And for a working class mother, when working is a necessity, can it truly be considered indicative of selfhood?

As a graduate student, I noticed that most of my women professors had children, and that was always impressive to me. I think the intellectual class, though there is still sexism (and all the other isms!) in academia, has found a balance between individuality and motherhood, but it's also the kind of job where you have greater control over your schedule and a lot of work can be done from home.

I'm currently wading my way through The Feminine Mystique and it really casts these conflicting identities into sharp relief.

I think it is pretty clear that the major anxiety with abortion is a mother choosing selfhood over motherhood, even though that's not necessarily always the case, as many women still plan to get pregnant at a better time, or are already mothers. Perhaps it is also because through abortion, a woman also gains temporary control over fatherhood, which is threatening to the status quo even if the individual man involved is supportive or doesn't want to be a father at all.

The dedication is incredibly powerful and moving. To me, it represents a main argument within feminist discussion - choice and the resulting equality of opportunity.

I find Katelyn's comments on class interesting as of course all divisions in society act on one another in terms of equality and cannot be separated. I agree with you about abortion being a way of challenging the status quo because as well as birth control it is a way for women to take control of their own bodies and futures. But I wish it were the whole truth. I have known women persuaded to have abortions by men and regretting it and women persuaded by abusive men to have a baby and not to pursue their chosen careers. We are still along way off from truly having choice over our lives.. I am a gay woman and getting married in February. I am constantly asked when I'll be taking time off work for appointments to try and have children with no reference to other ideas I have in mind like my career and travelling.

The dedication and this book is so powerful for that reason. We need to break away from stereotypes and respect women's choices to be mothers or not, to be stay at home mothers or not, to pursue a career or not, to travel or not. These are all complex and emotive decisions but it needs to be talked about openly as without the freedom to discuss choice, women will not achieve equality of opportunity with men.

I enjoyed the dedication and would also describe it as revolutionary. If anyone was wondering if she had anything new, empowering, or radical to say, they need look no further than the dedication, which was alone worth the price of the book.

I have to agree that the dedication is really revolutionary, and therefore I like it. But on the other hand I hate it - call me bigoted or ultra-conservative, but for me every life is worth saving, and unborn life is also life.

But on the other hand, I'm a bit sensitive when it comes to children and motherhood as a whole.

MeerderWörter wrote: "I have to agree that the dedication is really revolutionary, and therefore I like it. But on the other hand I hate it - call me bigoted or ultra-conservative, but for me every life is worth saving,..."

You said what I was feeling, much better than I could have. I appreciate what she's doing with the dedication and respect her for it, even if I disagree with her decision (though I do not judge it, as I was not the one in her situation and therefore have no right to state what she should or should not have done, that was her own decision to make). I believe all life is precious, but I also understand differing viewpoints, so I applaud her willingness to put herself in the potential position of angry response to her dedication, and thank a person who played such an important role in her life, with potential social and career danger to himself.