Our Shared Shelf discussion
Jan—My Life on the Road (2016)
>
Discussion Chapter 3: Why I Don't Drive
date
newest »
newest »
Mod
This chapter, not unlike the previous chapters so far, really captured my interest. There is a charm of meeting and talking to taxi drivers, flight attendants, etc. They observe and talk to people from all over the world on a daily basis, giving them a truly unique perspective of the world.Overall, I really enjoy reading about Steinem's meetings with new people during her travels. You never know who you are going to meet and what they can offer you (mind-opening stories, a new outlook on life, an unexpected long-lasting friendship, etc.). Reading some of the stories of these people has really opened up my mind to how everybody's lives are so dramatically different.
I also love that she wrote about not only the good experiences, but also the bad. I believe that all experiences -- positive or negative (of course, depending on the exact situation) -- are important to shape us and really help us understand this crazy world that we are living in. For instance, the cab driver from Ukraine who was yelling at all types of people depicts the close-mindedness and intolerance of other cultures in so many places.
My favorite, perhaps, was the "recovering media addict", who really sparked my interest. I loved how he talked about how media gives us a narrow view of the world, and how he believed that truly seeing the world by traveling and experiencing is what helps us understand it. This is something I am working on myself.
I myself do not drive, which is something that some people consider deeply unfeminist - how could I give up that freedom? - but in addition to anxieties about driving and environmental reasons, this chapter helped me realize why I so value my daily experiences on public transit. Spending time reading or listening to podcasts, people-watching, and meeting strangers can all be done so readily on public transit - all things that deepen connection to one's humanity. I was so grateful for this chapter.
I was in the NJ/NY for a while, and relied a lot on public transportation. It was really strange, after spending so many years driving. And, while I definitely missed being able to just drive myself somewhere, I did love the public transit world. It's fairly easy to access, it allows you to read for long travels, and to take in so much of the world that you might not otherwise get to see. There's so much that you miss while in a car, and I had never really considered that until reading this chapter.
I love her portrayal of all the people she met. The taxi drivers are amazingly interesting. I also enjoy talking to who ever I meet on my travels whether it be in a taxi or at a restaurant. It reminds me of why I love doing it even though my husband says I'm too friendly. You learn about life that way. The best way to keep on the goings on in the world is to talk to the people who live in it, and not listen to the public media all the time.
I love her portrayal of all the people she met. The taxi drivers are amazingly interesting. I also enjoy talking to who ever I meet on my travels whether it be in a taxi or at a restaurant. It reminds me of why I love doing it even though my husband says I'm too friendly. You learn about life that way. The best way to keep on the goings on in the world is to talk to the people who live in it, and not listen to the public media all the time.
The stories about the stewardesses surprise me because I didn't think that there were machism and discrimination like this too close to my birth year! Wow. I was very shocked. I told these stories to my family during a road trip from Italy to France yesterday and everybody felt very feminist at this moment! We all wanted to improve equality rights and talked about the solutions. A great conversation thanks to this chapter!
I grew up in a part of London where few people drove. I had access to great public transport and never felt the need. I was 30 before I got my driving license after moving to a more rural area with much more limited public transport. I now live in the USA and have a 60 mile commute to work so driving is a necessity. I also work for an airline and can tell you that discrimination and sexism are still very much alive and well in this industry even if it's presented in a different package. Flight attendants are still regarded as 'trolley dollies' by many passengers, Women pilots are still a rarity and subject to 'women driver' disparagement from male passengers. Great chapter!
I love how she describes that you're missing so much when you're in a car and the way shes having conversations with the taxidrivers. I myself, 16 years old, don't drive (it's forbidden in Belgium till 18 years) and I'm actually glad, after I read the book, I don't have a car right now :)
-Simon <3
People always tease me when I chat so much with limo drivers and taxi drivers etc but there is so much to learn and just so many connections to be made...if only for a short drive.
Having now finished the book, I can say that this chapter is my favourite. I do drive, and I enjoy it but i found myself thinking "this is so true" when she says that you're missing a lot when you drive, especially when you drive alone. This made my think about my life when i didn't have a car and how I would use public transport and randomly speak to people, meet new people and how this change when i got my first car and was doing everything with it. And it made me think about my life now : I live in london for 9 months of the year, where i don't have a car because i don't need it and it's not the right side for me, and for 3 months I'm in France where I can use my car and I really enjoy it for the pleasure of driving. And I realised that I couldn't return to a full driving situation. I enjoy having my car because I know it's for a short time. There is so much amazing things happening in the London Tube, it would be a shame to miss it.
Anyway, back to the book itself, I absolutely loved Gloria's anecdotes about the taxis drivers, it was very interestings to see how many different personnalities and reactions she could meet.
I agree with Delphine. This was my favorite chapter too. I loved the diverse stories that unfolded as she travelled. I wonder how many stories I've missed because I drive.
I fell in love with this chapter. I, myself, do not drive, so there's that obvious chuckle. Her stories of the people she met, and the self-growth which ensued, was absolutely riveting.
In reference to "recovering media addict": I would love it if the world could afford to have all people experience what life is like for at least 12 different "cultures" out there - Jewish (especially Orthodox and Hasidic), Muslim (especially more "Orthodox flavours", Third World, Western Society, Asian Society, Homeschooling, Rich, Poor, Homeless, Deaf-Blind, Wheelchair bound (with limited mobility as opposed to capable of wheelchair marathons) and Developmental Delay Disordered. I also think that people should experience life in Palestine and life in Israel, so they can hear and learn first hand the truths about the war over there. Not all Palestinians are anti-Jew. Many Palestinians work in Israel and love their jobs.I think that if we could experience more cultures - especially the cultures the media tend to "not tell whole truths about" , we could catch them at their lies and help change the media so they speak the truth instead. The News media has tended towards bashing Israel but very rarely bashing Hamas. They tend to bash Christianity, has bashed Bush but refused to even tell the story about the Kurds and the genocide they were going through because if they did tell their story, than that would have proved that Christian Bush was right about needed to be overseas in war in Iran. The Kurds story was told in the Star and Tribune paper back a few years ago. The Kurds wanted USA in Iran because it stopped their genocide. These Kurds were not Christians, per se. They just followed a Kurdish lifestyle. Maybe we could then learn to accept other people for who they are, and accept that their culture does not reflect badly on our own culture. And, lastly, maybe we will learn just how bad certain cultures are in their treatment of women. In Iran and Iraq, if a woman is not known to exist, wears her burkha perfectly, and perfectly follows her religion and does without question perfectly (God's own perfection here) everything man requires her to do and Never goes out into public but.... a evil man who does not know she exist in her house, but wants to go in and see if a woman is there, and then does a dastardly dead. SHE is stoned for that deed because it is assumed she turned him on. This is why I do not support "Orthodox" Muslim laws as it exists in Iran and Iraq. These are the type of issues we need to be made aware of and figure out how to exact change for.
Did anyone else have the idea, even before it was revealed, that the taxidriver who asked her about Lingerie is transsexual?
I really liked to hear about all of the different stories. Some of them seemed to stretch the imagination a little--it seemed a little too good of a coincidence that she could keep meeting the same people over the years and learning more about their stories--but it was entertaining. And it was a good reminder of just how many different kinds of people there are out there. Gloria Steinem definitely shows her skills as a reporter by how she can listen and capture so many personal accounts.
This chapter is one of my favorites because it really conveys the adventurous spirit of the author. Moreover, reading the stories of the taxi drivers made me question my attitude towards strangers. I'm a really shy person and I never start a conversation with people I don't know; reading this chapter made me feel like I'd been losing a ton of enriching occasions and now I'm really looking forward to the next time I'll get on a taxi so that I can start that process of sharing ideas, stories, thoughts and beliefs that makes us so interesting.
i just read this chapter and loved it...am haunted by the guy trying to take in the world without filters....thinking about whether I could do that. The stewardess stories really made me think differently about that job, whar change has happened in that industry. Great stuff!
I really realised how great public transportation can be, or, has the potential to be. I never really thought of how isolated people can be within their own cars, becoming angered from other drivers and developing this underlying hate for anyone outside of your comfort zone. This chapter made me realise the beauty of sharing an experience as simple as taking the bus down the block with other people that have a different perspective on life. I felt inspired by this chapter to reach out to people that could essentially change my life. It sure seems that Gloria gets that everyday
Haydée wrote: "Did anyone else have the idea, even before it was revealed, that the taxidriver who asked her about Lingerie is transsexual?"I wasn't surprised when I got to that part, but no. While I was reading about the first interaction they had, I felt that she might be in danger. Looking back though, after we know the driver was transsexual, it makes sense. He didn't feel comfortable about asking people he knew about women's clothes, so he was asking strangers.
Haydée wrote: "Did anyone else have the idea, even before it was revealed, that the taxidriver who asked her about Lingerie is transsexual?"Yes! I totally guessed that too! I was all confused when Steinem said she was scared. My husband and I have actually been listening to this book on tape, and he wondered whether the taxi driver probably wanted to be reprimanded by Steinem not because of some sexual fantasy as she thought, but because she (the taxi driver) felt some self hatred for who she was at that point. My husband wondered whether she hated herself for feeling like she was in the wrong body and felt like she needed to be punished for exploring those options in asking Steinem about lingerie, and that's why she thanked Steinem for the stern lecture. Not sure if it's true but an interesting thought.
I enjoyed the anecdotes from this chapter. I have been able to drive since I was 17, but I haven't always had a car. When I was in college, I used the city bus, which I also took to work. I have to say I hated it. While I could read on the bus, and that was nice, it took so long to get anywhere. Where I worked was about a ten minute drive from my house, but it took over an hour to get there on the bus since I had to go downtown and switch buses. It also took a lot longer to get to school. At night, I really couldn't do anything without a ride, and I had to beg for rides home from work because the bus route was scary at night. All of this has colored my opinion of public transit. When we travel, we will use it just to avoid parking hassles, but I would not want to have to depend on it again for my day to day life. I am too much of an introvert to talk to people on the bus anyway!
Kristen wrote: "I really liked to hear about all of the different stories. Some of them seemed to stretch the imagination a little--it seemed a little too good of a coincidence that she could keep meeting the same..."In rural Austria people get to know the taxi drivers because when they use taxis often, they get to see the same taxi driver more often. They often ask for a certain taxi driver then, and maybe Steinem did so too. Like, when she uses the taxi in a certain part of a city very often, she would bump into the same one more often.
Kait wrote: "I was in the NJ/NY for a while, and relied a lot on public transportation. It was really strange, after spending so many years driving. And, while I definitely missed being able to just drive mysel..."
I hadn't considered the missing parts while in a car before either. I really liked going by car with my parents when I was a kid, mostly because I could watch out the windows and see new stuff.
But now I really like to go by bus.( I hardly ever have to use the train, although I do like going by that too.)
I must say I really like the following quote, because I think it sums up the whole chapter:
p.69: "But by the time I came home from India, communal travel had come to seem natural to me. ...
I would miss talking to fellow travelers and looking out the window."
I really like discussing a book as I go (and reading what other people think about it!) - it helps to digest and think about it better (thanks Ana for your other posts) If people prefer not to do that maybe they can wait till the final week and not read this topic?