Danielle L. Jensen's Reader Group discussion

“Cécile?” I called, knowing she was there but wanting to hear the sound of her voice. Needing that tiny bit more confirmation that she was all right.

But she didn’t answer, and my heart skipped.

“Cécile? Where are you?”

I heard a faint sound, then a cough echoed up the tunnel and she said, “I’m here.”

“Are you hurt?”

“No.”

My relief was tempered by the coolness of her tone. “I’m coming down.”

Coiling a rope of magic around a rock, I used it to brace myself as I slid down the slope, stopping on a narrow ledge. Brightening my light, I leaned over, tension falling away from me in a rush as I caught sight of her.

She sat in a pool of sluag waste, water, and, from the rainbow hue, what I suspected was lamp oil. The ground beneath her glittered with gold – the skeleton floating in the pool the obvious source. Her hair was plastered to her face with slime, and she clutched a knife and what looked like a rock. No, not a rock. A flint. My chest tightened as I realized that if I’d been a moment or two later, all I would’ve found was a charred corpse.

Cécile looked over her shoulder at the open passage behind her, and her disappointment was a punch to my gut. She knew how close she’d come to freedom, and believed me here to stop her. I almost blurted out that I’d help her escape, if that was what she wanted, but then her relief all but smacked the words back in my mouth. I stared at her, trying to understand how she could be both disappointed and relieved at my presence at the same time. Why couldn’t I understand her? Why, given I had more insight into her mind than anyone, was I so confounded by her? “Is it because you’re a human or because you’re a girl?” I demanded.

“Is what because?” she asked.

“Your blasted kaleidoscope of emotion!” I said, my frustration leaking into my voice. “One minute you’re happy, the next you are sad. Then angry. Then ashamed. Every hour I’m forced to run the gamut of every emotion that ever existed and never know the cause of a single one of them.”

She crossed her arms and scowled at me, her pride in no way diminished by her current circumstances. I was half convinced if I gave her another light that she’d carry on her merry way. “I don’t even know whether you want me to rescue you from this mess or to leave you here in the dark.”

“Please,” she snapped. “You aren’t here to rescue me – you’re here to stop my escape. And besides, I don’t need any help from you.”

“Oh?” Stones and sky, she was the most stubborn person I’d ever met. “So I take it you are wallowing around in sluag shit because you enjoy the smell so much? And you thought it would be more entertaining to navigate the labyrinth in the dark? Perhaps,” –I lowered my voice, remembering later than I should have the risks of shouting– “we should stuff your ears with wool and tie one arm behind your back to make it truly entertaining for you!”

She held up her stupid flame-creation tools as though they were the answer to all the world’s problems. “See?”

“Yes, I do see,” I said, furious at myself for putting her in this position and at her for not grasping the danger. “I see a broken lantern that has leaked oil everywhere and a fool of girl about to set off sparks in the midst of it.”

“Then I suppose we should both be glad you finally decided to stop me.”

Her voice dripped with uncharacteristic sarcasm, but it took me a second to grasp her meaning. She believed I’d been content to let her leave, and had come now only because I’d believed her life, and subsequently mine, was in danger. “You think I’m here to save my own skin, don’t you?”

“Why else?” she asked. “Duty?”

The word was a slap to the face that I deserved, and before I could think it through, I said, “To hell with duty. I came for you – I came because I was afraid you weren’t going to make it. I came because I couldn’t stand the thought of something happening to you.”

She exhaled softly, her features softening. What strange power the truth possessed, and what a fool was I to never have exercised it before? I lifted her up and set her on the ledge next to me, barely noticing that her sleeves squished beneath my grip as I steadied her.

“It’s Luc.” She gestured below. “My purchase price.”

I scowled. “Then he got what he deserved. The labyrinth always kills the greedy ones eventually.”

“No one deserves this.”

“He lied to you. He stole you from your family. He sold you with no more regard than a trader sells a side of beef.” I balled my hands into fists, wishing that idiot of a boy were still alive so that I could feed him to the sluag all over again. “If any man deserved to die, it was him.”

“And you purchased me, with as much regard as a nobleman buying a side of beef.” Her voice was cool, but she might as well of shouted the words in my face.

“I did not.” If only she knew, if only she understood that I’d done everything I could to keep her from this fate. That I’d agreed to it because otherwise my father would’ve killed her. “I fought this arrangement at every turn. I’ve told you that.”

“He gave you the choice. I was there,” she said. “I heard you agree to me with my own ears. But the whole time, you wanted it to be her, didn’t you?”

I sighed, wiping a hand across my face. Lies had power, too. “Anaïs and I are only friends.”

“Oh.”

“We have never been anything more and we never will be,” I continued, choosing to leave out that I’d kissed that particular friend more than once in years gone by, “but we pretend we are in order to give me the time and privacy I need to meet with my followers.”

“Oh,” she said again. “I thought that maybe before I came that you and her... Did you ever consider it?”

Obviously I’d considered it – I wasn’t blind. “Do you really want to go down that path?”

“No.” She pressed the heel of her hand to her forehead. “Anaïs is a sympathizer?”

“Not precisely,” I said, knowing that my friend’s actions were motivated not by the belief half-bloods and humans were our equals, but by an almost vicious need to protect those weaker than her. “But I trust her implicitly, so that isn’t so much the issue. Her father, Angoulême, is head of those who wish to keep troll bloodlines pure. He wants to ban all human-troll interactions, ban any human from stepping foot within Trollus, and to conduct all trade at the mouth of the River Road. He also wants to purge the city of anyone with less than pure blood. He’s suspected my leanings for a long time, and this isn’t the first time he’s tried to use Anaïs against me. To make matters worse, he has my younger brother as his ward. Roland is... insane. Violently so. And Angoulême has directed his violent predilections toward his cause.”

“Why did your father let Angoulême have him?” she asked.

“Originally, it was part of a…” Anaïs would be hurt if I revealed our broken betrothal to Cécile. Her pride had been the reason she hadn’t told me in the first place, and she’d had enough taken from her lately “…a contract that he was negotiating. An alliance. But ultimately, I think it was because he didn’t want him to turn out like me.” I’d never admitted that to anyone, could hardly believe the words were coming out of my mouth, but there was no stopping. “So he placed him in a home where neither my aunt nor I are welcome.”

“Anaïs’s home.”

I nodded. “Which is why I know some of his plans. Angoulême thinks he can control Roland and that he can get rid of me and put my brother on the throne of Trollus. And if he were to succeed he, Angoulême, would be king in all but name.”

“So why don’t you tell your father about Angoulême’s plot?” she asked.

Because my father likely already knew. “Because I don’t have proof. And neither does he, so we exist in a sort of stalemate. Or at least we did.” I wasn’t sure how my father would react to the news I’d been cavorting with Cécile in public. It was what he’d told us to do, but the motivations behind that request were not as clear as I’d like. They never were.

“I played right into his hand, didn’t I? If I hated you, like I was supposed to, I wouldn’t have cared about Anaïs. I reacted just as he suspected I would. I’ve put everything at risk.”

“Yes, but it isn’t your fault. It’s mine. I should have told you everything when I had the chance. I thought you’d be safer if I kept you in the dark. But I was wrong.”

And my mistake had nearly cost me everything. She’d come to me in good faith for an alliance. And though I’d agreed to it, I’d treated her like a pawn in this endless game of Guerre I played, keeping my strategies to myself. Which had turned out to be to my enemy’s benefit. But more important to me in this moment was that now that she knew I’d deceived her, and how could she ever trust me again? And without that, how could I ask her to stay?

Hating the silence, I said, “It doesn’t matter anymore. We are here now and very near the limits of the rock fall. I’ll take you the rest of the way out… If that is what you want.”

She bit her bottom lip, eyes searching mine even as her uncertainty bombarded me.

“Won’t you be in a great deal of trouble if you don’t bring me back?” she asked.

“Very likely. But that’s my problem, not yours.” I’d have to find a way to keep my father from sending men to drag her back to Trollus, and there was only one way that could be managed. I’d have to make my move against him, even though I wasn’t ready. Even though I might lose. And even then, there would be a target painted on her back for the rest of her life. But she knew that, and I refused to use fear to sway her decision.

“You must decide, Cécile. My father’s soldiers will catch up to us soon enough, and your moment to flee will have passed. After this, another chance will not be forthcoming.”

I didn’t need to be able to sense her emotions to know that she was torn. And though I had no reason to expect it otherwise, it still stung that the decision was so difficult for her.

“What do you want me to do?” she asked.

I want you to stay. “This is your decision.”

“I know.” She gripped the rock next to her, her nails making little scratching sounds. “But before I make it, I need to know how you feel. About me.”

How could she not know when it felt like every second of the day my traitorous thoughts turned to her. “Don’t you know?”

She shook her head.

Tell her the truth. But it was hard, and not only because it was against my nature. So instead, I extracted her mother’s necklace from my pocket and pressed it into her hand.

“You didn’t do it?”

“You asked what was better, closure or hope... And I think hope is better.” And I refused to be the one to take it from them. “Forcing your family to believe you were dead felt like admitting defeat – like we were conceding before the battle any hope they might see you again. I just couldn’t do it.”

Her eyes glittered with tears. “Are they still looking for me... or do they think...?”

As if they would give up searching for someone like her. If I were in their position, I’d never stop. “Not every day; but as often as they can, they still search the hills. They haven’t given up on you.”

“Thank you,” she whispered, her eyes fixed on the glittering gold pendant. “You kept it in your pocket the whole time, then?”

“My hoarding tendencies manifest themselves in strange ways. It was the only thing that was yours.” And it was the one thing she had left of her life before. Having one of my minions leave it on an unnamed corpse had been unthinkable. “I noticed you wearing it when you arrived, and again that first night you sang. I watched you standing in the glass gardens, and I thought you were the most beautiful girl I’d ever seen. A flame in the long dark night.”

Continued in next post...

2/2


“I’m not…”

She broke off whatever she’d intended to say, and I carefully fastened the necklace around her throat, my fingers fumbling with the clasp. “Most people would have given up a long time ago – just curled up in a corner and waited to die, but you’ve lived every day. I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone so tenaciously optimistic.” I pushed back her hair so that I could better see her face, and her skin was cool beneath my fingers.

Tell her the truth.

But I was afraid of revealing how I felt and having her walk away. And even more terrified that she’d choose to stay.

The truth, you coward.

Taking a deep breath, I said, “I want you to stay, Cécile, but I’m afraid staying will only bring you misery.”

Silence.

My lungs felt as though they weren’t functioning properly, and my pulse roared in my ears. What would she say? What would she choose? Then she reached out and rested a hand against my shoulder, her nails digging into my coat, and I knew. Could see it in her eyes and feel it in my heart and my mind, and I knew that this was something. To her, and to me. Wrapping my hands around her waist, I pulled her unresisting form toward me, fully intent on kissing her as I’d imagined doing so many times. But a flash of motion behind her caught my attention seconds before my grasp on my magic faltered and my light blinked out.

Sluag.

Aaaaaaahhhh!!! You stopped it right there! I want to know about how Tristan felt after being attacked by a sluag. Ah, my heart... bear with me....

Dammit Sluag, you ruined this scene AGAIN. Almost forgot you were coming ugh. KISSSSSS *cries* And I agree, more more more! *reaches with greedy fingers*

Damned it! Like the song says, "I just can't get enough!"

It's so cool to read scenes from both their perspectives. *sigh* now if only i could watch the whole thing happen!

*Shaked fist at the sluag* How dare you interrupt! oooh I looove all these POVs so so much <3

Awful timing on the Sluag's part XD

Bloody sluag and its timing!! *shakes fist
I love that you continue sharing this alternate POV scenes from Tristan's!! I also would have loved to read about the kiss from his POV!! ;)

I love all the new POVs! I'd be happy with a whole book of them!

God I love new points of view. AND bloddy hell what bad timing the SLuag has, just when it was getting good. Lie the earthquake's bad timing in the following chapters. Will they never get the chance to just be in love?

“What do you want me to do?” she asked.
I want you to stay. “This is your decision.”

Oh. My . Gosh. I love these books so much! Thank you for writing this scene from Tristan's POV! ♥

Amazing! Please keep Tristan's POV posts coming! :D