I'm Trying to Get a Book Published! discussion

uh, Caitlan Zufelt is my name, and my main book is fire touched...im not done yet, im only to chapter 2, so, ill post it here....

http://www.goodreads.com/story/show/4... here is Fire Touched, just the five chapters that i have, please read and review

thanks for joining! :)

ur welcome!

uh, just wondering...why isnt anyone in mine? *hurt sounds*wimpering*

Kirilee,

I'm reading your story right now. I'll let you know when I'm done. Hang in there! ;)

kk thanks

Kirilee,

I've read Fire Touched and although I see the potential, there are some things that don't work for me. I think my biggest problem is that after having read 5 chapters of your book I still don't know where the story is going. Although most authors think they have the full length of their novel to tell their story, the truth is a book has to grab the attention of the reader right away and hold it afterwards. You had me in the first chapter, but things started to get confusing with all the characters popping in or out without explaining what was going on. Be careful in trying to create suspense in your story at the expense of divulging important information. Every scene in your book should either advance the plot or reveal critical information of the characters or both.

My advice to you would be to reveal the overall plot of your story at an earlier point so that we know what the quest is. I'll give you an example. One of the things that makes The Lord of the Rings work is that readers know exactly what the story is about by the second chapter. Everything after chapter 2 reveals how Frodo goes about achieving his quest. If you really want to hold your readers attention, you need to tell them what the story is about from the outset of your story, not as it goes along. With that said, Kirilee is an interesting character and I am intrigued to find out more about her.

thanks

uh, i thought it was obvious that kirilee was going to find her parents...is it?

okay, i revised the first chapter, and made it the prolouge......heres the link ↓ http://www.goodreads.com/story/show/4...

uh, anyone here?
okay, i revised the first chapter, and made it the prolouge......heres the link ↓ http://www.goodreads.com/story/show/4...

uh, anyone here?
okay, i revised the first chapter, and made it the prolouge......heres the link ↓ http://www.goodreads.com/story/show/4...

hello? anyone here? uh, anyone here? i revised the first chapter, and made it the prolouge......heres the link ↓ http://www.goodreads.com/story/show/4...

i want you make the next chapter of >>Fire Touched<< i like a fiction like that.. =)

so, you thought it was good???

yes...
i never think to make a story like that, you inspired me ^^)

*flustered* why, thank you♥♥☺♥♥ so, is there anything i can change? revise, edit?

*wink my eyes*
no, but maybe you can be more focus with every element that you want to wear. maybe there are a war too. to show the power of every element.

oh, dont worry, i will, you'll see...ill try to post chapter 1 and 2 tomorrow, k?

sure, i'll be waiting... ^^) give me news..

i will *wink*wink*

Kirilee, I'll be reading your story this afternoon and giving you some feedback.

I read your prologue last night, Kirilee. You definitely seem to be on to something. Can't wait to read the rest of it.

Kirilee, I really enjoyed it. I think you have an interesting start, and I look forward to reading more.

yay! someone else actually likes it! is there anything i can revise?

I'm waiting until I read more until I make any suggestions.

Ditto!

im still writing the first ans second chapters, but ill let u know when theyre up

okay, just posted the first chapter, just to let u know

okay here is the first chapter to fire touched

http://www.goodreads.com/story/show/4...

Cat,

Call me silly, but I've been trying to find your thread for days. I was worried that you had removed it when it dawned on me that you might be using your real name now.

Anyhow, I've read your first chapter, starting with the prologue again, and thoroughly enjoyed it. This time aroud, there is no confusion on my part about where your story is headed. By expanding your story to include Tyan and the prophecy, everything seems to be much more fluid.

Remember what I said before about predictability? Now I can actually guess where your story is headed even though I am sure it has plenty of surprises along the way.

I just wanted to let you know that you are off to a great start with Fire Touched. Well done. I can't wait to read the rest! :)

thank you! ♥

is there anything i can revise or change?

Cat,

At this point in your story, it's a little too early for me to make suggestions. I think we need to read a little bit more of the story to see if everything is meshing.

As I said before, I like what I see. The political intrigue between Tyan's jealous siblings works very well. And the prophecy is a nice touch. It sets the stage for things to come and helps to give your story direction.

I wouldn't worry too much about changing anything in the prologue or the first chapter. Any changes needing to be made will depend on whether or not the new chapters tell the story that was promised duiring the prologue and first chapter. This should be your main concern as you proceed forward.

okay thank you-ill let you know when chapter 2 is posted

Great. I cant wait to read it. ;)

☺

okay, finished chapter 2 of fire touched, ☺☺

I must admit, Caitlan. Your story is vastly improved over the previous incarnation. Thanks to the prophecy and more improtantly, the Tyan storyline, it gives your story a well-roundedness that was lacking before. There is not only direction, but a sense of urgency to Fire-touched.

With every new chapter that I read I find myself wondering what is going to happen next which is what all good stories do. On that front, you have succeeded. I am very happy to see that you were able to go back and give your story the legs in needs to keep readers plodding on.

So far, I wouldn't have you change anything. I do have some suggestions and other ideas about what you can do to make your story better. But I will hold these ideas in reserve until you can get further into your story, especially since the most important thing that needs to happen is for you to complete your first draft.

You really should be proud of yourself. Your willingness to learn is paying off dividends for you. Keep up the great work! :)

thank you-lol my friend gave me a deadline-i have to have chapters 3-10 done by christmas, or "else"

I don't doubt you'll get it done! Just keep chopping away at your story bit by bit and you'll see how quickly your story comes together for you. Good luck!

okay, chapters 3 and 4 are done ☺

hello?? does anyone care anymore??



Prolouge:
http://www.goodreads.com/story/show/4...

Chapter 1:
http://www.goodreads.com/story/show/4...

Chapter 2:
http://www.goodreads.com/story/show/4...

Chapter 3:
http://www.goodreads.com/story/show/4...

Chapter 4:
http://www.goodreads.com/story/show/4...

does no one care!!??!!??!!

wow i seriously think no one cares anymore...



' ' '
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obviously no one really cares



echo

*echo*

echo

*echo*

okay, sorry i havnt been on in a while....:) been kinda busy, but i have revised what i had in my story, and i will be posting it, the link will appear tomorrow.

im gonna be posting my story directly on here form now on

okay??? it'll start on the next page