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Hidden Huntress (The Malediction Trilogy, #2)
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Hidden Huntress Read-Along > Extra #4 - My First Attempt at Chapter 35

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Danielle Jensen | 359 comments Mod
So this is an early version of the events that happen in Chapter 35. There are a few inconsistencies, such as Sabine not being there, but it’s very similar content, just delivered in a different way. The reason I changed the scene was that I was trying to build the tension between Tristan and Cécile to the moment where she snaps, and this was too light-hearted to accomplish that. Plus, I wanted her argument to come from a position of strength, and I felt that having her be jealous of the server and sort of….petulant really undermined that. So I rewrote the scene to make it tenser and darker. But feel free to tell me which you prefer :D


We’d stayed at the scene of the fire until it was nearly out, Tristan doing something with magic to keep the neighboring buildings from catching fire and burning the whole quarter to the ground. I hadn’t wanted to leave Catherine’s body, but Tristan and Chris had convinced me that it was for the best, saying the people who had known her would take care of her funeral.

After having wiped the soot from our faces as best we could, we found a cafe close to the opera house were we could get a drink and talk. Souris sat on my knee at the table, and I fed him bits of pork sausage while I sipped at my ale, the coldness sweet against my raw throat.
Catherine was dead, the grimoire was either burned or lost, and Anushka knew we were on her trail. And we’d lost all way of tracking her. Our quarry seemed more elusive than ever, and already I could feel a headache growing, and I knew the sleepless nights and obsessive behavior would soon set in. What had happened tonight did not matter to the troll king. My word still bound me.

“I could try to find another spell,” I said, patting the dog on his back. “There are other grimoires in the world, and other witches who might be willing to help me.” Although I was reluctant to get anyone else involved.

“No,” Tristan said, leaning back in his chair. “Even if we had the time, I don’t think it would work. Not now that she knows you’re hunting us.” He looked around the cafe, and the serving girl was at his arm in an instant, eyes full of undisguised admiration as he ordered us another round.

“What do you propose?” I asked, my eyes sweeping the room. Every woman, with the exception of those drowned in glasses of green absinthe, were watching Tristan like vultures.
“For hundreds of years, we’ve been tracking her. Chasing her. Hunting her down. And it’s never worked. Anushka’s too sly and canny to be caught that way. But what if we tried luring her out?”

Chris frowned. “Using what as bait?”

As soon as he said it, I knew what Tristan was suggesting. “Absolutely not.”

Chris raised an eyebrow.

“He’s suggesting using himself as bait,” I explained. “But no. The sun will rise in the west before I allow it.”

A slow smile rose on Chris’s face, his eyes flicking to Tristan’s. “Bossy, isn’t she?”

Tristan laughed, and I couldn’t say anything more because the serving girl had arrived with our drinks. Scowling, I fished small coins out of my pocket to pay, my temper rising as she took the time to wipe the table (yet again), and to ask Tristan whether he wanted more to eat. Any excuse to linger at our table a minute longer. “We’ve got honey cakes,” she told him, smiling prettily. “On the house.”

He smiled back at her, making her blush. “I really couldn’t eat another bite.”

Her lips turned to a little pout. “Well let me know if you change your mind.” Giving the table a final wipe, she finally left us in peace.

“Friendly girl,” he said, taking a long mouthful of his drink.

“Isn’t she just,” I muttered, ignoring the snickers of amusement coming from Chris’s direction. “I’m sure for you, all sorts of things are on the house.” I knew I was being spiteful, but I couldn’t seem to help it. With the lone exception of Anaïs, I hadn’t had to deal with other girls trying to steal his attention in Trollus. One did not flirt with the crown prince - it just wasn’t done. But out here, Tristan was just another young man with an exceptionally handsome face. He was fair game, and although I knew in my heart that he wouldn’t take anyone up on an offer, I also knew that a big part of him would enjoy the novelty of having girls flirt with him. The novelty of being normal.

“So what’s this plan of yours?” Chris asked.

“There is no plan,” I said, but they both ignored me, leaning conspiratorially towards each other.

“It’s rather simple,” Tristan said. “Anushka has dedicated her entire existence to keeping the trolls captive. Nothing matters more to her. And here I am - not just a troll, but the descendant of the troll who she hated above all others - free as a bird. The knowledge will infuriate her. She’ll feel compelled to do something about it, and that will require her getting close to me.”

“Close so she can kill you,” I said.

Tristan shrugged. “I don’t doubt that she’ll try, but the fact remains, she’ll need to get close to me to do it. And I’ll be ready for her.”

Chris nodded thoughtfully as though the plan were brilliant, which made me think they were both idiots. Tristan’s tone was too confident, and that troubled me. He sometimes acted as though he were invincible - like nothing could harm him - when recent history had demonstrated that that was decidedly not the case.

“I think you’re underestimating her,” I said, interrupting their conversation. “She’s too clever to be caught this easily.”

“Do you have a better idea?” Tristan asked.

That was the problem. I didn’t have a better idea. I had only my doubts, and he wouldn’t listen to those. Biting at my lip, I said nothing in favor of patting Souris on the head.

“I guess its inevitable she’ll discover you’re free,” Chris said, trying to diffuse the tension.

“Anushka obviously knows Cécile is hunting for her, and I’d bet all of next year’s pay that she’s watching her. Which means she’ll see you soon, if she hasn’t already.”

“I suppose that makes us both bait,” I said, glancing up at Tristan.

His eyes searched mine for a long time, then he said, “No. The last thing we need is Anushka believing that Cécile is more than another one of our paid minions. If she discovered who Cécile really is, we might as well paint a target on her back.”

I looked away from him, digging my nails into my palms to keep from saying something I might regret later.

“How are you going to get her attention, then?” Chris asked. “With magic?”

“No,” Tristan replied. “With money.”

I snorted loud enough that the other patrons turned to look at me. “With what money? Last time I checked, it was Chris and me who have been buying your drinks tonight, and I guarantee that neither of us has enough to catch anyone’s attention.”

“So sorry that I didn’t have the chance to fill my pockets with gold before I left home,” Tristan retorted. “But since you asked, I do have access to all the gold I need and more, I just need the time to retrieve it.”

“Would you two keep it down,” Chris hissed. “You’re attracting a great deal of attention.”
I ground my teeth together. “Fine.”

Chris grinned at the rest of the patrons. “Lover’s quarrel!”

A few of them chuckled, and they all went back to their drinks.

“I don’t understand,” Chris said, turning back to us. “How’s gold going to catch Anushka’s attention? Haven’t we been thinking all this time that she’s got plenty of coin and been playing court with all the nobles of Trianon?”

Tristan had his arms crossed, and for a minute, I thought he might be too annoyed with me to answer. “That’s exactly it,” he eventually muttered. “With enough money, I can infiltrate their ranks. Go to their dinners, their parties. It won’t be long before she realizes who I am, and it will be easy for her to get close to me.”

“And you’ll kill her?” Chris whispered, glancing around to make sure no one was still listening.

“I haven’t decided what I’m going to do with her.”

Because after all, it was his decision. Rising sharply to my feet, I tucked Souris under my arm and started towards the exit.

“Cécile?”

I ignored Tristan, weaving between tables.

“Cécile, where are you going?”

I looked over my shoulder at him. “Home. I’ll leave you two to your machinations, since clearly my involvement isn’t necessary.” The bell on the door chimed as I shoved it open, my heels thudding against the boardwalk as I hurried down the street. The bell chimed again, and a second later, Tristan was standing in front of me.

“Humans don’t move that fast,” I said, pushing past him. “You’re going to get yourself noticed. But that’s your plan, isn’t it?”

He fell into stride next to me. “What’s wrong with you?”

“There isn’t anything wrong with me. I’m angry. At you.”

He huffed out a breath. “I gathered that. Now are you going to tell me why?”

“You’re clever, figure it out yourself.”

“Why won’t you just tell me and save us both the frustration of me trying to guess?”

I lurched to a halt and glared up at him. “It is frustrating, isn’t it? Being kept in the dark, forced to guess, and speculate, and fabricate your own answers? Well, welcome to what it’s like being me.” Shifting Souris in my arms, I started walking again. My blood felt hot enough to boil over, my pulse loud in my ears. For months, I had been on my own, making my own plans and decisions. But from the moment I’d broken him free, Tristan had stepped back into the role of the leader, and me the follower. And I didn’t like it.

“I know you don’t like my plan,” he said, easily keeping up to my swift pace. “But if you stop to think about it, surely you can see how it will work.”

“I see perfectly well how it will work,” I said, turning down the street of the townhouse. “Only I’m not fool enough to believe it will go so smoothly as you seem to think! But that isn’t why I’m angry.”

Tristan caught hold of my arm at the foot of the steps leading up to my home. “Is it because I didn’t tell you before telling Chris?”

A little laugh escaped my throat. “No, Tristan. It’s because you told me your plan. And you told me I wouldn’t be involved.”

He stared silently at me, and then very slowly, he nodded. “It’s a habit, I suppose. And you’re not the first to tell me it’s a bad one.”

“You’ve a few of those.” I didn’t know why I was attacking him. He’d been through enough without me turning on him, but the words wouldn’t stop coming out. “I’m a blasted open book to you,” I said, my voice shaking. “I tell you everything. I’ve told you everything that has happened since I left, all the choices I’ve made, the mistakes I’ve made. All the dark and ugly things I’ve done. Everything. And you’ve told me nothing.” My eyes burned, but I blinked away the threat of tears because I was afraid they’d undermine my point. “I know a great deal has happened to you in these past months, and that many things have changed. But I don’t know what. You won’t even tell me what has happened to my friends…” I broke off, sinking my teeth into my front lip so hard I tasted blood. “I know you’re angry with me, too. And I know it’s about more than just your name.”

Silence. It was a weapon I almost never used. Words, sound, and expression - they were how I fought my battles. How I defended myself. Silence was Tristan’s domain, a tactic he employed to both protect himself and undermine others. And he was using it now. Snow had begun to fall on the darkness of the city streets and the tiny flakes made more sound than him. He stood motionless as stone, and the only way I could tell he felt anything at all was the cacophony building in my head.

“I keep secrets, Cécile.” His voice was barely audible. “It’s the way I am. You’ve always known that.”

My chest felt tight, my feet unsteady. “I know. But never once have I told you that I’m content with that.”


BellaKara | 29 comments You know some of this could have been left in. It really was high time she gave it to him straight. He's always treated her as an inferior not as his equal. It was one thing for him to treat his allies like that, it wasn't right either at all but that's another matter, but his wife is a different thing. Tristan has a bad habit of undermining Cecile and not treating her as if she were worthy of him and that HAS to STOP. And it is she that has to put a stop to it. He's a prince and he was used to treating people that way because it was what was expected of him by the way he had to act. Seriously his Aunt was right that someone that plays a roll for so long starts to become that roll and he really has integrated some very bad traits into his personality. She needs to help him deal with that and put a stop to that or he will continue on a downward spiral he won't be able to pull himself out of because he's not even aware he's falling. If she truly loves him, and she does, she has to help him and setting him straight and pointing out his flaws and making him change his ways, whether he likes it or not is the way to go.


Pili (piwi) | 34 comments I think I like the finished/rewritten version better, since the tension and gloomy feeling seems to fit better. But I'm glad that in either version Cécile gives Tristan a piece of her mind about keeping her in the dark and being his usual secretive self. By having her put this on his face, it will help them work together better!


Shreya Atmakuri (shreya_atmakuri) | 18 comments I really liked the rewritten scene much more because like you said, the tension building is much more smoother and leads to a good point for Cecile to express herself. I guess one thing I did like about this version was how she was reflecting on how she liked how he enjoyed normalcy (though the jealousy scene was amusing), but I personally thought the shift from that point to her storming off in anger wasn't as eloquent as it could've been (but that's just me I guess). I think the last line Cecile says about her not being okay with Tristan's habit of keeping secrets was my favorite above all in her rant!


Nicole (nicole_t) | 43 comments I also think the rewritten scene is a lot better. Because in that one the tension doesn't build up it seems that Cécile snaps out of the blue, and that undermines how important the things she's telling him are.


Ellie M (byelliem) | 28 comments OMG those last two lines. So hard hitting. I kind of wish this was kept in because it layers their relationship so much!


message 7: by Danielle (new) - added it

Danielle Jensen | 359 comments Mod
Ellie wrote: "OMG those last two lines. So hard hitting. I kind of wish this was kept in because it layers their relationship so much!"

I kept those last two lines in for just that reason :)


Avy ❄️ (justanotherhopelessromantic) | 20 comments Ahhh! That ending!


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