The Filipino Group discussion

Hello everyone! It's been a while! (Like, a long while, ^^) But I'm here to moderate our May discussion. And I'm really looking forward to this because it's my first time to moderate a YA book, and it's our first time to talk about Patrick Ness. :) Time to go back to our younger selves with prom and graduation worries with a young adult read, Patrick Ness' latest, The Rest of Us Just Live Here. :)

About the book:

What if you aren’t the Chosen One?

The one who’s supposed to fight the zombies, or the soul-eating ghosts, or whatever the heck this new thing is, with the blue lights and the death?

What if you’re like Mikey? Who just wants to graduate and go to prom and maybe finally work up the courage to ask Henna out before someone goes and blows up the high school. Again.

Because sometimes there are problems bigger than this week’s end of the world, and sometimes you just have to find the extraordinary in your ordinary life.

Even if your best friend is worshipped by mountain lions.

A more fun blurb, thanks to Epic Reads: click

Or from the author: click

Reading Plan:
There are 21 chapters in the book, so you can opt to read 5-6 chapters per week, or just read at your own pace.

Where to get:
Print copy is available at Php 360 (ish) at Fully Booked and NBS (but with the alternate cover with more kids on it).
(view spoiler)[Epub | Mobi (hide spoiler)]

F2F:
May 21, 2-5pm
Venue: Stackers, Eastwood

Woohoo YA! (Troll comment for notif purposes :D)

Hi Tina. *waves*

Hello~

(view spoiler)[Because hormones, I have lots of backpacking plans over the summer. and actually, bahala na. I hope I can join the online discussion (hide spoiler)]

Maria: Wohoo. *waves*

Ella: Hallooo. I don't have set online discussion plans, but I'll post some questions/notes every now and then. ...like now. Haha. See next post! :)

Question 1:
In Chapter the First, the main characters Mikey, Henna, Mel, and Jared were "...talking about love and stomachs." An excerpt:

"You always have a choice. I don't care if you think it's love -- and by the way, NOT a word you should throw around so easily - but even that, even if that word, you can still choose to act right."

"I said, I loved the way he looked," Henna says. "I didn't say I loved him. You're twisting my words. And that's not what I'm talking about anyway. I'm talking about...how your heart fills up. Actually, no, it's not even your heart, it's your stomach. You feel it and everything just goes."

[Insert some more dialogue here] Then Jared says:

"You feel it right here." Jared puts his hand on his belly. It's a biggish kind of belly and we know he doesn't draw attention to it lightly. "And it's like, for that moment, everything you believed is wrong. Or doesn't matter. And everything that was complicated is suddenly, like, yes-and-no simple, because your stomach is really the boss and it's telling you that your desire is possible and that it's not the answer to everything but it's the one thing that's going to make the questions more bearable."

The question: So, when you were younger, how would you describe the feeling of love? How does it compare to how you feel love now?

Question 1

(view spoiler)[
When I was younger, love (and feeling love) was more the pa-kilig type, immature, and very insecure. (view spoiler)[To clarify: age range I'm talking about is high school to college. More or less. (hide spoiler)] Back in high school we had this thing we called "Vitamin S" or "simoy," as in, "Wait lang, sisimoy muna ako," which means you "hunt" for your crush or the apple of your eye, and just stare/ogle/fill in your daily dose of the "vitamin S." It was around this time that I also discover or experience things for the first time, like HH, hatid-sundo sa bahay, mga ganyan. That's the kilig part and, perhaps, the immature part also.

And then, I've always been the jealous type, so every. single. girl. who spoke to, much less looked at, my boyfriend would earn my ire, and I would vent it all out on the poor guy. Hehe. Ang babaw.

Comparing all those expressions of love (feeling love) to how I am now, of course it's light-years-away different. My marriage (and our relationship as a couple before that) would not survive if I were still that way. It also helps that my husband and I are on the same wavelength, share the same passions and likes (and dislikes). (hide spoiler)]

Question 1:
(view spoiler)[
Then: It made me feel prickly. My ears went hot and were ready to burn.

Now: I haven't found the person for grownup love yet so it's hard to tell. I'm just anxiously wondering if I'll be alone for the rest of my life chas.
(hide spoiler)]

Pa-join! : ) (and hoping I can finish the book, hehe!)

Question 1:

(view spoiler)[When I was younger, love for me is like that infatuation that lasts a long time, like many months... Now, love is more than just a feeling. It's a choice. (hide spoiler)]

Question 1:

(view spoiler)[
I'm pretty sure a lot of you already know that I used to avoid love like the plague before. That its path only leads into hurt and heartbreak. Oh, how young and utterly mistaken I was.

I can't exactly say what it is for me right now. I'm currently in the process of finding out what it truly means for me. Do intellectual, physical and emotional connection are all prerequisite in loving or being in love with someone? At the end of the day, does words of validations and grand gestures really matter? Do I even need to have a very logical reason for loving a person before I can truly know that I love them? I don't know. I will let you know when I have the answers to these. As of now, I'll just continue reading Alain de Botton's On Love. Hahaha

(hide spoiler)]

Question 1
(view spoiler)[
When I was in highschool, the concept of love was just like how Monique described it. More kilig and ifatuation. The mababaw sort of love, like you love the way someone looks/sings/dances/talks but not entirely him as a person. Hehe.

Now, well, I haven't really found out the concrete answer to how love feels so maybe I'll get back to this once I discover what it feels like to be in love. Charot. Hahaha.

(hide spoiler)]

Question 1
(view spoiler)[
When I was younger, as with most of the girls here hehe, it’s more the pa-cute kind, crush-crush lang, ganon. I wouldn’t even call it love. I was never the romantic kind and I used to never really make too much of an effort with the people I’m in a relationship with and I’m somehow always on the fence about my feelings; but I can’t say the same now, maybe it’s a fusion of me finally maturing and me truly committing to making things work. (Last statement applicable also for other aspects of life. Heh.) (hide spoiler)]

Hi everyone! Thanks for your answers~ :D

Monique: Haha, back in college, we called it SMB, as in Style Mo Bulok. We have a list of "moves" that involved finding a way to know the schedule, passing by the lobby when they're there so you're in view, etc, etc.

Angus: Hm, your "then" sounds like a line in a romance novel. haha. :D

Honeypie: Welcome baaack! Did you ever differentiate infatuation from puppy love? ehehe.

Aaron: !!!! Yun lang. As someone who saw you from your then to now....hihihihi. Okay, I'm gonna stop being a giddy ate. Haha.

Elaine: Gusto ko yung medj showbiz feeling yung Now mo. Haha.

Mawi: ...maybe it’s a fusion of me finally maturing and me truly committing to making things work. --> I like this. :) Love (or "Luv") is a verb, as DC Talk sang.

My answer~
Then: (view spoiler)[Much like everyone, love back then was all giddy and kilig. But with all those highs, the crashing can be quick and painful. Huhu. But I remember one time in college, after this guy I liked gave me a surprise Valentine's gift, I curled up into a ball on my bed and giggled like crazy for about 10 minutes. My roommates were amused. Haha. (hide spoiler)]

Now: (view spoiler)[I don't know. Halaman ako. Haha jk. I know that I'm the kind of person who will be willing to go the lengths to do something for whoever that person is, sometimes to a fault. I tend to be blind, too -- or as a friend told me once, naka-helmet haha -- when there's an object of my affection. Also quite possessive and entitled. HAHA! But I guess knowing that is the first step of not being that. I'm currently not in love with anyone romantically, so my answer is really the experience of loving my family and friends: there is this warm feeling in your chest that is generally happy....but every now and then, it hurts. Could be because there was something really hurtful done/said, but also sometimes you think, How can I love someone this much? How can I make them know this, and never forget this every minute of their life?

Or pwede ring may heartburn lang ako. Haha. :P (hide spoiler)]

Question 2

...is several questions, actually. Pick one (or all) and answer. :D

a. On getting older:

What happens to you when you get older? Do you just forget everything from before you turned eighteen? Do you make yourself forget?

We have to admit that the millenials (or as I like to say sometimes, YOUTHS!) now think differently from us. What were some thoughts back when you were young(er) that you find funny/different now? Do you think what Mikey said in that statement is true or no? Why?

b. On stories:

This is the part of your life where it gets taken by other people's stories and there's nothing you can do about it except hold on tight and hope you're still alive at the end to takke up your owns tory again...You need to know it, but for the rest of this, I'm choosinng my own story. Because if you can't do that, you might as well give up.

Was there ever a time in your life when you get taken by other people's stories and you can't seem to get out of it? How did this affect you and your story?

c. On dreams:

What do you do when your dreams are about to come true? No one ever tells you. They tell you to chase them, but what happens when you actually catch one?

In Tangled, Rapunzel asks Flynn the same question when she finally saw the floating lights. And Flynn's answer: "You make new ones." (Or something like that) So for this: tell us about time you chased your dream and caught it. What did you feel when you were chasing, when you were almost there, or when you got it? What did you do next?

Question 1
(view spoiler)[
Love then: The prince kissing Snow White; a playground scuffle where you kiss a girl and she runs off in tears; the first dance you invite her to just because you were being teased by friends; pretending to hate a girl when in fact you think you're in love with her; shouting "I love you!" at the top of your lungs so everybody can hear; acting like a brooding romantic writing about love under the light of the sunset.

Love now: The gentle hand that calms you down; the calm nights of sleep you spend beside her; the voice that can still stop your heart when it shouts your name from a distance; the eyes of someone who knows how to look at you properly; the sweet touch of her lips; the postcard that traveled for hundreds of miles to reach you and deliver the imprint of a kiss.
(hide spoiler)]

Question 2
(view spoiler)[
a. On getting older
I cannot think of any thought I had back then that seemed different/funny now. Maybe I'm not yet old enough?! Hahaha. But what Mikey said about forgetting as you get older is false. I do not remember 100% of everything that has happened to me for the past 27 years. There are things that I remember like yesterday, some a bit and some none at all. It's not that I made myself forget but there are certain memories (both good and bad) that get stamped in your head permanently.

b. On stories
Yes!!! You know sometimes, you surround yourself with people that are so absorbed in their own bubble of issues and they can't stop talking about it 24/7? It's like they know what their problem is and what they have to do about it but you get dragged along and now you cannot stop thinking about it too. Negative things that affect people close to you affects you and if it's beginning to take its toll on your sanity, it's time to step back and get your life back. Hehe. Hindi naman sa pagiging bad friend but maybe they need a wake up call lang na you also have your own life to live and problems to face, na hindi lang sa kanila umiikot ang mundo. Hehe.

c. On Dreams
I'm still on the part where I'm chasing my dream. I'm still trying my darndest to catch it and figure out what I want out of it but I am now a bit confused whether to take another turn or continue (as some of you may know, hehe).

(hide spoiler)]

Question 1
(view spoiler)[1. Well, back when I was younger I never really had a long, deep seated crush. Not the kind that occupies your thoughts a great deal, like the ones that keep you awake at night, or daydream about. Anyhu, from what I remember love/crush was the feeling of "embarassment". I feel terribly embarassed when I see my crush. Embarassed that I look/will look stoopid. Ganern kababaw. I was once accused of being a robot in disguise as a human, because of this fact, and because I never imagined/thought about my future wedding when I was a teen.

As an adult I still don't know what love is. (Aaaah want chu to show meeeh) Not counting the stuff I read in books, and see in movies. That is talking in terms of romantic love and not familial and fellowship types. And by "not knowing", I mean I haven't experienced it, yet. And yeah, pwede na akong i-carbon date as far as age goes. Beep moop meep! Robot!
(hide spoiler)]

Question 2:
(view spoiler)[ a. On getting older
Hmmm. I think about self-absorbed thoughts less(er) now. Ha. And no, I don't think you forget everything from when you were young. You remember some, your forget some. Because of the thingymajig that happens in your brain to access memories and stuuuuf. But I guess when you grow up, you get to have seen things and experienced things, hence you think differently. Hence Mikey's statement.

b. On stories
I don't think so. I was and am too much inside my brain for that to happen, I think. I get affected by other people's stories sometimes. But you know what it is not unlikely for such to happen, especially if the “other people” are considered as among my nearest and dearest.

c. On dreams
I haven't achieved my dream. It is not a lofty dream mind you. It's not even just one. It's a bunch of haphazard dreams? Scatterbrained dreams? I don't know! XD (hide spoiler)]

Question 1

The THEN: My official autograph response was "Love is like a rosary that is fully of mystery."

The NOW: I believe that love is...
Just like time, you use it
Just like money, you spend it
Just like memories, you share it.
Or maybe I was making these up. But love is so fleeting, I cannot fully grasp its meaning. Still, just like before, I believe in the mystery and the magic of it.

Question 2

(view spoiler)[
a. On getting older:

I think you remember some, and you forget some. Deliberately or not. There are just some thoughts from one's youth that stay (core memories!), while the others simply get forgotten (you know, thrown into the memory dump, huhu).

One thought I had when I was younger (waaay younger) that I find funny now: I used to wonder why the actors in movies didn't show the usual things we do in our everyday lives: eating, sleeping, peeing, stuff like that. I recall that my mother laughed out loud when I asked her, "Mama, bakit hindi kumakain yung mga tao (sa pelikula)?"

b. On stories:

Just recently, I was so hung up and emotionally involved with Courageous Caitie's story. (If you're not familiar, Google!) From the time I learned of her illness back in February until she died in March, I was so, so taken by her story because, obviously, I also have a daughter. I've since "moved on" from her death but it affected my own story because now I realize how blessed and lucky I am to have my daughter still with me.

c. On dreams:

4 years of Legal Management + 4 years of law proper + 1 year of bar review + another 5 months of waiting = that coveted "Attorney" in front of my name. That's what my dream was, and all those years were the most grueling, difficult (in all aspects!) time in my life. But I kept on because I knew that if I didn't succeed (or at least try), sa kangkungan ako pupulutin, haha. Now that I've chased and caught that dream, I have a new one. We all move up and forward. :)
(hide spoiler)]

Question 2:
(view spoiler)[
a. Funny thought when I was young is that I can easily take on the world, like I can be whatever I want to be (an astronaut, a marine biologist). I turned out to be another face in the crowd who succumbed to mediocrity. I don't agree with Mikey though. On the contrary, I tend to blank out on the years after I turned 18. I keep returning to random memories from my childhood. It's uncontrollable. My mind is my boss.

b. I turned their stories into fiction. Some people do this a lot, so one should know where to draw the lines. One of them got me an award. I guess that affected my story, a sort of validation on what I can do.

c. It was exhilarating when I was almost there. I was a human balloon until somebody burst me with a pin. Then I picked myself up and looked at my options. Be pragmatic. Not everyone can be rewarded with what they want.
(hide spoiler)]

Question 1:
(view spoiler)[When I was younger, I was like Mel on the first chapter, telling friends that love isn't something that you "should throw around so easily". I was usually the listener and I'll just roll my eyes when they go gaga over their crushes and people they "love". I also felt kilig but I usually keep it to myself and a few close friends.

When I was a bit older, there came a point that I was telling friends na go lang ng go. I-experience mo lang. Nag-evolve bigla. LOL. But there was also this uncertainty regarding the thin line between friendship and romance, of love or lust or just plain need for sexual intimacy.

Now, it could still be like that feeling in your stomach but more importantly, it's a choice with self-control and commitment. (hide spoiler)]

Question 1:

(view spoiler)[
Before my husband (then, my HS sweetheart), I am more like Mel in the story. Not that I was being KJ or something. I did have crushes too, but I never gushes or kilig openly when I saw them. The thing is, I grew up with brothers and being girly will not help me survive the brawl and teasing. So, kilig was a very quiet emotion then. Besides, controlling my emotions then, helped me get over them really fast.

With my husband, we both knew that we cannot rush into anything yet, during HS. Our love evolved from being sweethearts, to best buddies, and then into being pillars for each other.

Now, we are both aware that love alone will not survive a lifetime. Aside from God as our center, Commitment is the structure we hold on to.
(hide spoiler)]

Question 1:

(view spoiler)[ The first thing that popped into my head the moment I read the question was one of my absolute favorite slam poems by Phil Kaye and Sarah Kay. I encourage you guys to listen/watch because they are absolutely amazing and it's a perfect answer! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cPG6n... (hide spoiler)]

Question 2c:

(view spoiler)[ On dreams: I used to worry about this a LOT. People keep telling me to just chase my dreams, but what if I catch them na? Then, what? I figured Rapunzel was right. We make new ones. I think it's part of being human; always looking for something to dream about, something to chase, something better. We rarely actually reach contentment, huh? (hide spoiler)]

Question 2:

(view spoiler)[
On dreams:

We are all sort of chasing some dreams. I usually call them goals. Or maybe my goals are part of the dream. There came a point, about a few years ago, that a friend and I were joking about having no dreams anymore. We're laughing about it but it was true. We graduated, passed the board exam, had a decent job, then what? I recently chased a dream, set a goal. It was discouraging at first. What if I made wrong decisions? What if what I want is not for me? But thinking about the steps that I already made (and persuading myself that I'm past the point of no return, pumaPhantom of the Opera LOL), I continued to chase it. And yeah, I guess, I caught it. And now I'm chasing another goal. Small goal/step at a time. That conversation in Tangled is accurate. That part really caught my attention when I watched the movie. We really have to make new ones. Or maybe change our previous dreams if you don't want to or shouldn't chase them anymore.
(hide spoiler)]

Question#1:
(view spoiler)[When I was younger, I think I'm in love when he's the first thing I think about when I wake, the last thing on my mind before I sleep, and when something kind of burns my stomach from the inside when he's near. So, yeah. That sounds like more of infatuation now. At my age right now, (I'm 28 by the way) I think love is when you feel safe, happy, and whole. Love is accepting each other's flaws. Love is thinking about the welfare of your family before yourself. I guess it's deeper than what you think it is when you were young. (hide spoiler)]

Question#2a:
(view spoiler)[It is the opposite for me. As I get older, I tend to forget short term memories. What really retain are the good old memories. Growing up to adulthood makes you busy with life. But this doesn't mean that you forget what happened when you were younger. Actually, sometimes it gets too tiring being an adult that I cheer myself up by being nostalgic. (hide spoiler)]