Books I Want To Talk About discussion

Discuss Prep by Curtis Sittenfeld here.

Hey ya'll, I am currently reading "Prep"; it is very well written and has really created this amazingly realistic world. It has shades of "catcher in the rye" and has proved very reflective and informative for me. Not to mention enjoyable! There are many things I would like to discuss, let me know if you wanna share!!

Oh and much like when reading "she’s come undone", I have to keep checking that the author is a guy because his take on the female mind is really authentic....

**********Possible Spoilers************




I both liked and hated Prep. Perhaps because I went to a prep school and got in under similar circumstances, I couldn't quite relate to the character's blase attitude about the school and her own accomplishments. As the book wore on, I became more and more angry at the girl for not working harder to learn more or find what it was she really cared about in order to take advantage of the wonderful gift she had been given. But now I pause a bit and think, she was a teenager. What an impossible situation to be in where she had to "earn" the value of her education through achievement while the other students could be teenagers without similar repercussions. For me, I suppose, the question is why was she there if she didn't really care about the education she was actually receiving?

On the other hand, I can understand a bit about the oddity of being from an ordinary middle class family and being surrounded by wealth and thought the author captured that part well. The section of the book where her parents visit and take her and two girls she hardly knew out to dinner, but not to the posh place the girls expected makes me almost physically ill.

I was so looking forward to reading this book, and boy was I disappointed. I found it difficult to enjoy the story when the main character was so unlikeable. I could nothing with which to emphasize/symphathize with her, and in my opinion, I don't think that she had any excuse whatsoever for her attitude or her behavior.

Hi, just joined the group.

I liked this book a lot, myself. Many of my friends didn't, but I thought she captured a particular type of adolescence really well, did a great of job of showing that the rich are different than you and me (okay, me--not my place to speak for anyone else), and she wrote some really good sentences. I like good sentences.

Also, I just gave somebody Tobias Wolff's Old School to read, and when she asked me why, I said "Who doesn't like a prep school novel?" So, obviously, I'm predisposed to like them. There's something about the combination of the coming-of-age stuff with the inevitable class dissonance that speaks to me.

Also, I'm pretty sure Curtis Sittenfeld is a woman.

Howard, I would give Old School. I actually love books about teens and people in their college years. However, Prep disappointed me, because it could have been so much better. I'm glad that you and a number of others liked it, though.

I finished it this weekend and yes Curtis is a chick.;-)
I agree with many of you, it was hard in many places to like Lee but then I remember myself as a teen. I was so clueless, I mean really. That part with her parents when all she can see is how they are embarrassing her and doing these things to her intentionally…that was painful. Mostly because I remember actually feeling that way…like my Mom did not have her own life and or agenda it was all designed around me. I went to a private high school and played lacrosse and field hockey and dealt with kids that had waaaaaay more money then me so a lot of feelings touched home. I even had dreams about old high school acquaintances after reading. I think Curtis really did a good job creating that angst of that society.
What do you all think about that questions Curtis herself raises?? That nothing will ever be as intense as it was in high school, those crushes that sense of ruining everything, the friendships--the highs and lows??
Do you feel there is any validity in that concept?

Hell, yes. The adolescent brain is different than the adult brain. Just like a little kid tastes things more intensely because there are more taste buds in a kid's mouth. More passion, more absolutes. Plus, there isn't the perspective built from experience that shows you the boundaries, that things have an end. I suspect this is part of why adolescents make the best recruits for wars and religions. Less judgment, more intensity.

It's not absolute; you don't turn 21 and calm down; it's different for different people; and other qualifying statements, but sure.

I miss the crushes and the power of that one phone call or one hand holding but am so glad that "end of the world" bit has passed.

So do you all think Cross was a bad guy as described by Devin or just a teenage boy with no hidden agenda?

I wish I remembered well enough to answer. I just remember a guy who created expectations in her on a trip into town, and never followed through. Is that who we're talking about? If so, it was maybe blithe disregard, which if it's conscious, makes you a bad guy, but if you're really so focused on yourself that you don't notice others, it's hopefully something you're going to outgrow.

(This exchange would probably be more satisfying for both of us if I had read this more recently.)

Perhaps?! :-)
You are correct about the town trip but then their relationship develops in that last year at school into the "midnight sex" sessions....
Then there is the whole "cheese or fish" survey among the guys that Cross may or may not have been the keeper of that I feel sums up most high school boys brilliantly.

I'm remembering some of that.

I'm going to have to defer to your more recent reading of the book, as well your take on high school boys, which is probably more accurate than mine, as I was being one at the time.

I can't believe some of you didn't like this book. It's one of my favorites! I think it's so real. I remember being this young and I also work with young adolescents, so I know how they think most of the time. The way Lee was so self-conscious and trying to fit in and embarassed by her parents is definitely how many teenagers act. I thought the author did a nice job conveying what it might be like to attend a school like that.

I recall strongly disliking Lee, and at times feeling frustrated with the book in general, but I honestly believe it is because she made me look at my own adolescence from a new perspective. I was frustrated with her bad choices and her lack of character because I myself had been in her shoes and made similar mistakes. In the end I felt more embarrassed at seeing myself in Lee than I was actually frustrated with the story. It was painfully uncomfortable, but aren't some of the best books?

I absolutely love this book and all its awkwardness. :) The only complaint I really found myself having was how anti-climatic the ending was. I sympathized with Lee's awkwardness and unwilling attitude through her adolescent years in a prestigious boarding school, but when she finally left, I couldn't wait for her to break free. I wanted Lee to let it all out and adore the University of Michigan where not everyone is there thanks to trust funds. But sadly, she doesn't. She doesn't enjoy college, and doesn't seem to enjoy her career life after either. She wonders about the people she'd left in high school and never really finds herself. But I still can't help but love this book. Each and every new year brought new challenges and interesting occurences that kept me wanting to find out more. Some of the most awkward moments, especially the encounter with her father, I could relate to more than any other book I'd read before. But the most fascinating fact I found was that the author, Curtis Sittenfield had attended a private boarding school herself and was quite similar to her character. It makes me wonder if maybe some of Lee's awkwardness was maybe channeling her own. ;)

I finally bought this book! I'm looking forward to reading it soon and then all of your comments.

I'm so excited that people want to discuss this book and hope I'm not too late! I just started prep and so far I like it!

I just started reading this now. It's a little slow going because of all the negative reasons that people gave before. But I've reached the "mall" part where she gets her ears pierced and I rather enjoyed that scene.

My main problem is that I've read a lot of books on prep schools and it feels less "authentic" as others. I mean, Lee feels like she is going through "authentic" issues, it's the people and surrounding that seem "false". It feels like a middle class person writing about the rich and famous. And while I have nothing against the middle class (especially since I'm part of it), if I'm reading about the "upper" class, I'd like to read how it really is rather than how someone (who doesn't know) thinks it is.

But honestly, I think part of my problem is that I'm in my 30s reading about the experiences of a freshmen in high school. And while I like to think that I haven't reached "old fart" status quite yet, I do recognize I'm just not in that frame of mind any more.

And so while I enjoyed The Catcher in the Rye, I think partly it was because I read it in high school. I think I would feel differently had I read it for the first time now.

So Lee frustrates me a lot because at this stage in my life, I wouldn't make the choices she made (or didn't make). But looking back, I can understand from my own personal experiences why she did or didn't do what she did. But it doesn't stop me from feeling frustrated.

I really liked the book at the beginning. For me it relates to my freshman year of college and the culture shock, etc. I get annoyed by her, but I am sure we're supposed to. I mean remember being an adolescent and being so egocentric?? I just got through the family weekend part which made me really sad and mad at Lee, and now I am at the part with her freshman roommate....

SPOILER ALERT..................









It made me sad that she couldn't really be there for Sin Jun after her suicide attempt and couldn't put her own self aside for 2 minutes to even be there for the poor girl. However, again, it just shows how self-absorbed she is. I couldn't imagine being away from my family in high school and having to try to fit in in this repressed environment while I'm still trying to figure out who I am. I was hoping this would be a fast read but it's been slower than I would have liked.

I will say that I was similar to Lee in that it surprised me when people in high school would talk to me--people I normally wouldn't associate with but respected--it was weird to me that they would know who I was even though I knew who they were.

But her antisocial behavior seems more out of laziness rather than a need to be separate. It's like she subconsciously relishes in her loneliness.

Well, I have about 100 pages left to go. And the more I read the more I am liking the book, although in the overall view of the book, it's leading me to the underwhelmed side.

I completely understand how an adult and a lot of teens don't like Lee. However, what I'm seeing in Lee, is a LOT of myself at her age. And what I'm seeing it really doesn't matter if you're middle class set in an upper class situation--a teen is a teen is a teen. And everything is amplified and self-centered and over-thought. But for those of you who really found her actions to be disturbing, I can only say that she really isn't that uncommon for someone who isn't as socially well-adjusted. While her reactions may be amped up a bit, that's what books do--exaggerate reality. (Her tone and use of language to her parents went a little far in comparison to her normal personality. But unfortunately, I've treated my parents just as shamefully out of embarassment and fear when I was her age. I never spoke to them using those words, but I used the tone and the facial expressions and had those mean thoughts.)

And while yes, Lee SHOULD maybe react to situations "better", really, how should she act?

In the case of Sin Jun, what should she have done? She wasn't close friends with her. She hadn't roomed with her in over a year. Clara acted like she didn't want her around. She's already proven she's uncomfortable in unknown social situations.

Imagine your HR director coming to you and saying "you used to work in the same department with so-and-so 2 years ago and they just overdosed for no apparent reason. Could you please escort them to the hospital while we track down their family?" You may go because you were asked and because you feel obligated to go. You may think "yeah, I worked with them. I know they have a husband and two dogs because of the photos they keep on their desk. I know they like a bagel with their coffee on bagel Tuesday. But that's it. I didn't really hang out with them after work. Should so-and-so be going instead? They actually work with them now." But how much of yourself are you going to give someone you barely know? And are you a bad person because you chose not to stand by their side through the thick of things?

What I thought was interesting of Lee is that she REMAINED friends with Sin Jun well after college. I think that shows the kind of person she became rather than the one she was at Ault.

But I think that's the single most bothersome thing about this book for me. It's not Lee. It's the author. She gives you bits and pieces of the future while she's telling you the story. Oh yeah, Sin Jun and I weren't close at Ault, but look at us in our 20s, we still hang out! And that Dave guy (the cook)...he was my jumping point for my relationship with Cross (i.e., there is going to be a relationship with Cross sometime in the near future).

It's annoying. I don't appreciate spoilers, especially ones that feel like the author is trying too hard to be "cool" about it. And if you're going to give a spoiler, then get to the spoiled part already. Seriously, when you write about something and it takes you over a 100 pages to get to it, I've lost interest.

I agree with all you points Meghan. I guess for me I just felt like Lee liked people while it was convenient...I mean she talked up Sin Jun and then when Sin Jun has shows some kind of "real" feeling or negative reaction she suddenly doesn't know how to summon any once of empathy or what not. I am by no means saying I didn't do and say things as a teen that I am not ashamed of now, but I can still feel sad that she couldn't really even step outside of herself for one minute.

I also found the foreshadowing to be annoying. I would even forget some of the foreshadowing. I mean even with the Cross thing, she tells you pretty soon that she had been with other guys and the Cross thing didn't work out, LOOOOONNNGGG before they got together.

I relate to a lot of the book, and felt like some of the points were good, and it was a good depiction of adolescents. I didn't love the book, I couldn't get into it as much as I expected, but it does bring up a lot of good discussion points. I like at the end when Martha is able to say "I don't have to agree with everything you say or do but I can still support you." That to me seemed like the realest part of the book.

Kristen wrote: "I agree with all you points Meghan. I guess for me I just felt like Lee liked people while it was convenient...I mean she talked up Sin Jun and then when Sin Jun has shows some kind of "real" feel..."

I agree with you. I think I liked it better than a lot of my peers, but I didn't love the book. And I wanted to love this book going into it. Maybe that is why I feel great disappointment by it.

I actually thought the ending was the strongest written portion of the whole book. I wish that she had spent more time on it as I felt this is more who Lee is--a confused, naive, fearful girl--rather than this grumpy, cranky, antisocial person that people are perceiving.

Her relationship with Martha was interesting and I was glad for it. I think it helped balance her in some ways. The whole Cross situation was well-told but sad because I know far too many girls who've done the same thing and ended up feeling the same way. As much as I may not like what happened, I thought it actually was the "realest" part of the whole story.

I remember being very excited about this one because as someone above said 'what's not to like about boarding school stories.' However, this book just disappointed me.

I get it, Lee is a teenager so she is more prone to stupid decisions and complaining. But I could not relate to her at all. With almost decision that she made, I could think of probably a hundred better ways she could have handled the situation. It felt like she learned nothing in her time at the school and never matured as a person/grew up! I was like she was always this insecure whiny girl and never got out of it. I would be fine with it if she had learned anything at all.

Then the whole Cross situation. I'm sure that the author did this purposely, but Cross was the worst boyfriend ever.

Sorry to be so complaining, but I really really disliked this book.