Somewhere, somehow, Baxter's high school gym teacher was laughing at him. He sprinted after Guy and Rodrigo, desperately gasping in air as he tried in vain to keep up with them. He should've spent more time on the treadmill at the gym. Granted, he'd never thought he'd needed to train for being chased by a dinosaur—because of course it was a dinosaur—and so had stupidly focused on weight lifting. Somehow, he didn't think fantastically toned abs were going to help him much against a dinosaur.
"Guys?" Baxter yelled, then remembered what had happened the last time he'd said 'guys' and cut to the chase. "Wait for me!"
Guy and Rodrigo didn't seem to hear him, gung ho in pursuit of the golden gleam of the coin, directly ahead. Baxter would have been more upset about that, except the dinosaur was definitely gaining on him and he was about to be the appetizer of a potentially three-course meal. Clutching the book to his chest, he wished the ground was firmer so he could get better traction.
Ahead of him, Guy and Rodrigo disappeared.
Baxter stumbled in surprise, and then forced himself to keep going when the dinosaur roared once more. The gold coin gleamed in the shadows ahead and Baxter aimed straight for it, hoping he wasn't about to run off a cliff.
A wave of cold air rush over him and he ran full-tilt into something. Rather, someone, and Baxter only kept his feet because of the strong arm that wrapped itself around his waist, pulling him against a broad, tanned chest.
"Steady, guapo," Guy said, flashing him a brilliant smile. For a moment, Baxter forgot the dinosaur pursuing them, the gold coin, that there was anything strange at all going on, one hundred percent distracted by the strong, strapping man pressed against him.
Rodrigo cleared his throat loudly, and Guy reluctantly—slowly—disentangled himself from Baxter, his smile still firmly in place.
Dinosaur, Baxter reminded himself, still trying to catch his breath. His list was down to two tasks: (1) stay alive and (2) get laid. The latter would be incredibly difficult to accomplish if he failed at the first.
Except there was no dinosaur, Baxter realized in the next second. He couldn't hear its roar and the ground wasn't shaking with its approach. They'd passed into some new space. It was still mostly black shadows and shapeless, but he could hear the ocean and the sand was still the same beneath his feet.
"Come, we grow close," Rodrigo said. He gave Guy a disapproving look when Guy latched onto Baxter's arm. Baxter didn't hesitate to take advantage of the closeness, one hundred percent approving of Guy's solidness. That Guy had his pistol at the ready didn't hurt.
Rodrigo led the way this time, heading deeper into the shadows of the void, Guy dragging Baxter along. This … area, Baxter supposed, as he'd long lost track of where they were in relation to anything, was quieter than any of the rest. Nothing seemed to stir, minus the sound of waves bathing the beach somewhere to Baxter's left—or right. Maybe in front of them? The sound carried weirdly, but Baxter resolved to not dwell on it. That was working pretty well for him so far.
Something went clunk nearby.
Guy didn't seem to have noticed the sound, and Baxter wondered if he'd imagined it. Rodrigo was walking slightly ahead, tense and on guard, but if he'd noticed the sound, he didn't show it either.
Clunk.
"What was that?" Baxter hissed. He couldn't be the only one hearing it.
"Just the ocean, do not be afraid." Guy smiled, squeezing Baxter's arm.
Clunk.
Guy and Rodrigo both paused.
"That!" Baxter said, clutching his broken book to his chest. Guy and Rodrigo exchanged a look, which did absolutely nothing for Baxter's confidence level.
"Let us hurry, yes?" Rodrigo suggested. Baxter didn't need to be told twice. They picked up the pace, walking faster, then jogging, and all the while, the ominous clunk grew ever louder, ever closer. Like the sound of the ocean, it seemed to be coming from everywhere and nowhere, from behind them and in front, from the left and from the right. The only constant was that it grew ever closer, despite their attempt at escape.
"Stay behind us, guapo, we will protect you," Rodrigo said, dragging them to a halt.
Baxter did as he was told. At least it wasn't a dinosaur. He hunched behind Guy and Rodrigo as they brandished their weapons into the shadows. He wasn't sure a faceless, nameless monster was better, but he could pretend it was a giant robot instead of a dinosaur
… that really wasn't much better.
He caught sight of movement out of the corner of his eye, and he might maybe have let out a squeak of terror, but he wasn't going to admit to it if pressed. Of course, the thing was approaching from behind, where Baxter was unprotected by studly pirates.
"Ho, foul beast, show yourself!" Guy shouted in Baxter's ear, shoving himself in front of Baxter. Rodrigo followed suit, and Baxter wasn't going to admit to cowering, not at all. He could run away but that seemed cowardly given Guy and Rodrigo were putting themselves between him and the monster.
More importantly, it probably also hurt his chances with task #2 on his list—getting laid. Baxter wondered what the chances were that he could convince Guy and Rodrigo to kick off their date night schedule with a shared date night. That would absolutely make all of this worth it.
Clunk. The monster advanced with a loud, clattering bang. It was rectangular, almost as long as he was tall, and half again as tall. It stood on four legs, and Baxter's jaw dropped as its entire shape resolved from the shadows.
"Is that a card catalog?" Baxter demanded.
"You know this beast?" Rodrigo asked, not taking his eyes off of it. He was brandishing his sword at it, and as he spoke one of the drawers on the front of the cabinet popped open, showering little white cards at them.
"It's …" Baxter trailed off, trying to figure out a way to explain it. "It's a piece of furniture. Filled with paper."
"A dangerous foe!" Guy said, and shot it. Wood splintered around the bullet—did pistols that old use bullets? Baxter had no idea, but all guns were the same, right?—and the card catalog spat more paper and some shreds of wood at them. It all fluttered to the ground between them harmlessly.
"Cut off its legs!" Rodrigo shouted, and charged. Baxter watched the short battle unfold, as Rodrigo and Guy—freshly equipped with his own sword—ferociously attached the legs of the cabinet. The card catalog put up a valiant fight, if valiant meant spewing more index cards and bits of paper at the two pirates.
After much chopping and hacking, they got two of the legs off. The card catalog, unbalanced, tipped over onto its face, stifling any further attempts to spew index cards.
"Victory!" Guy cheered, sheathing his sword. He crossed the sandy beach to where Baxter stood and grabbed the front of Baxter's shirt, dragging him close for a quick, bruising kiss. Baxter decided that the card catalog was absolutely a vicious opponent if it got him a kiss like that.
Rodrigo was there in the next second, pulling Baxter away from Guy and claiming his own victory kiss, and Baxter decided #2 on his list was being amended to 'have a threesome with Guy and Rodrigo' because honestly, he was worth it. And apparently had fallen out of a L'Oreal commercial.
"Coin?" Baxter managed to say when Rodrigo reluctantly pulled away. The sooner they had the coin, the sooner this would be finished and he could cross #1 off his list and focus on making #2 a reality.
"We are close, guapo," Guy said, giving Baxter a hot smile that only served to provoke thoughts of what Baxter wanted to do first when he had Guy and Rodrigo to himself after the curse was broken. "Then you can use that to break the curse."
"Right," Baxter said, recalled to the book. The book that only he could read, as Guy hadn't even known what the title was. He looked down at the sad specimen of a book—it was sandy, the spine was broken, and the edges of the pages were damp. "Find the coin, break the curse. Then …"
"Then we take you home," Rodrigo filled in, giving a slow, lusty smile that rivaled Guy's.
"What are we waiting for?" Baxter asked, his body taut with the thoughts of just what they'd do when Guy and Rodrigo took him to their place. Where that was and how he'd get back to Seattle were trifling concerns at the moment.
"The library closes in half an hour." A dull, droll voice intoned. Baxter whirled, startled—he hadn't even heard the man's approach. It was the librarian again, he realized, trying to remember the man's name. Alex. No, Adam. No, Andrew.
"Wait, what?" Baxter asked. How did the library close when they weren't even in the library?
"The library closes in half an hour," Andrew repeated with irritation, his eyes dropping to the broken book in Baxter's arms. He shuddered, looking pained, and he was once more ignoring Guy and Rodrigo and the strange place around them like it wasn't at all out of place. Except, if what he'd said earlier was true, it wasn't. "If you're going to be checking books out, take them to the desk now."
"How do I get to the desk?" Baxter asked. "No, we need the coin, first."
"You have half an hour to figure that out," Andrew said, bored again. Baxter scowled. Weren't librarians supposed to be helpful? "Don't tally or you'll get stuck."
"Stuck?" Baxter repeated. He blinked, trying to make sense of what Andrew was saying. "Stuck here? For how long?" The library was open tomorrow, right? Surely he could enjoy a night of pirate love—and they might even agree to that threesome if he only had the one night—and be on his way tomorrow.
"Once you get stuck, you don't leave." Andrew shrugged. He glanced at his watch. "Twenty-seven minutes."
"That's not fair—" Baxter started, but he was talking to thin air. Andrew was gone.
"Guys?" Baxter yelled, then remembered what had happened the last time he'd said 'guys' and cut to the chase. "Wait for me!"
Guy and Rodrigo didn't seem to hear him, gung ho in pursuit of the golden gleam of the coin, directly ahead. Baxter would have been more upset about that, except the dinosaur was definitely gaining on him and he was about to be the appetizer of a potentially three-course meal. Clutching the book to his chest, he wished the ground was firmer so he could get better traction.
Ahead of him, Guy and Rodrigo disappeared.
Baxter stumbled in surprise, and then forced himself to keep going when the dinosaur roared once more. The gold coin gleamed in the shadows ahead and Baxter aimed straight for it, hoping he wasn't about to run off a cliff.
A wave of cold air rush over him and he ran full-tilt into something. Rather, someone, and Baxter only kept his feet because of the strong arm that wrapped itself around his waist, pulling him against a broad, tanned chest.
"Steady, guapo," Guy said, flashing him a brilliant smile. For a moment, Baxter forgot the dinosaur pursuing them, the gold coin, that there was anything strange at all going on, one hundred percent distracted by the strong, strapping man pressed against him.
Rodrigo cleared his throat loudly, and Guy reluctantly—slowly—disentangled himself from Baxter, his smile still firmly in place.
Dinosaur, Baxter reminded himself, still trying to catch his breath. His list was down to two tasks: (1) stay alive and (2) get laid. The latter would be incredibly difficult to accomplish if he failed at the first.
Except there was no dinosaur, Baxter realized in the next second. He couldn't hear its roar and the ground wasn't shaking with its approach. They'd passed into some new space. It was still mostly black shadows and shapeless, but he could hear the ocean and the sand was still the same beneath his feet.
"Come, we grow close," Rodrigo said. He gave Guy a disapproving look when Guy latched onto Baxter's arm. Baxter didn't hesitate to take advantage of the closeness, one hundred percent approving of Guy's solidness. That Guy had his pistol at the ready didn't hurt.
Rodrigo led the way this time, heading deeper into the shadows of the void, Guy dragging Baxter along. This … area, Baxter supposed, as he'd long lost track of where they were in relation to anything, was quieter than any of the rest. Nothing seemed to stir, minus the sound of waves bathing the beach somewhere to Baxter's left—or right. Maybe in front of them? The sound carried weirdly, but Baxter resolved to not dwell on it. That was working pretty well for him so far.
Something went clunk nearby.
Guy didn't seem to have noticed the sound, and Baxter wondered if he'd imagined it. Rodrigo was walking slightly ahead, tense and on guard, but if he'd noticed the sound, he didn't show it either.
Clunk.
"What was that?" Baxter hissed. He couldn't be the only one hearing it.
"Just the ocean, do not be afraid." Guy smiled, squeezing Baxter's arm.
Clunk.
Guy and Rodrigo both paused.
"That!" Baxter said, clutching his broken book to his chest. Guy and Rodrigo exchanged a look, which did absolutely nothing for Baxter's confidence level.
"Let us hurry, yes?" Rodrigo suggested. Baxter didn't need to be told twice. They picked up the pace, walking faster, then jogging, and all the while, the ominous clunk grew ever louder, ever closer. Like the sound of the ocean, it seemed to be coming from everywhere and nowhere, from behind them and in front, from the left and from the right. The only constant was that it grew ever closer, despite their attempt at escape.
"Stay behind us, guapo, we will protect you," Rodrigo said, dragging them to a halt.
Baxter did as he was told. At least it wasn't a dinosaur. He hunched behind Guy and Rodrigo as they brandished their weapons into the shadows. He wasn't sure a faceless, nameless monster was better, but he could pretend it was a giant robot instead of a dinosaur
… that really wasn't much better.
He caught sight of movement out of the corner of his eye, and he might maybe have let out a squeak of terror, but he wasn't going to admit to it if pressed. Of course, the thing was approaching from behind, where Baxter was unprotected by studly pirates.
"Ho, foul beast, show yourself!" Guy shouted in Baxter's ear, shoving himself in front of Baxter. Rodrigo followed suit, and Baxter wasn't going to admit to cowering, not at all. He could run away but that seemed cowardly given Guy and Rodrigo were putting themselves between him and the monster.
More importantly, it probably also hurt his chances with task #2 on his list—getting laid. Baxter wondered what the chances were that he could convince Guy and Rodrigo to kick off their date night schedule with a shared date night. That would absolutely make all of this worth it.
Clunk. The monster advanced with a loud, clattering bang. It was rectangular, almost as long as he was tall, and half again as tall. It stood on four legs, and Baxter's jaw dropped as its entire shape resolved from the shadows.
"Is that a card catalog?" Baxter demanded.
"You know this beast?" Rodrigo asked, not taking his eyes off of it. He was brandishing his sword at it, and as he spoke one of the drawers on the front of the cabinet popped open, showering little white cards at them.
"It's …" Baxter trailed off, trying to figure out a way to explain it. "It's a piece of furniture. Filled with paper."
"A dangerous foe!" Guy said, and shot it. Wood splintered around the bullet—did pistols that old use bullets? Baxter had no idea, but all guns were the same, right?—and the card catalog spat more paper and some shreds of wood at them. It all fluttered to the ground between them harmlessly.
"Cut off its legs!" Rodrigo shouted, and charged. Baxter watched the short battle unfold, as Rodrigo and Guy—freshly equipped with his own sword—ferociously attached the legs of the cabinet. The card catalog put up a valiant fight, if valiant meant spewing more index cards and bits of paper at the two pirates.
After much chopping and hacking, they got two of the legs off. The card catalog, unbalanced, tipped over onto its face, stifling any further attempts to spew index cards.
"Victory!" Guy cheered, sheathing his sword. He crossed the sandy beach to where Baxter stood and grabbed the front of Baxter's shirt, dragging him close for a quick, bruising kiss. Baxter decided that the card catalog was absolutely a vicious opponent if it got him a kiss like that.
Rodrigo was there in the next second, pulling Baxter away from Guy and claiming his own victory kiss, and Baxter decided #2 on his list was being amended to 'have a threesome with Guy and Rodrigo' because honestly, he was worth it. And apparently had fallen out of a L'Oreal commercial.
"Coin?" Baxter managed to say when Rodrigo reluctantly pulled away. The sooner they had the coin, the sooner this would be finished and he could cross #1 off his list and focus on making #2 a reality.
"We are close, guapo," Guy said, giving Baxter a hot smile that only served to provoke thoughts of what Baxter wanted to do first when he had Guy and Rodrigo to himself after the curse was broken. "Then you can use that to break the curse."
"Right," Baxter said, recalled to the book. The book that only he could read, as Guy hadn't even known what the title was. He looked down at the sad specimen of a book—it was sandy, the spine was broken, and the edges of the pages were damp. "Find the coin, break the curse. Then …"
"Then we take you home," Rodrigo filled in, giving a slow, lusty smile that rivaled Guy's.
"What are we waiting for?" Baxter asked, his body taut with the thoughts of just what they'd do when Guy and Rodrigo took him to their place. Where that was and how he'd get back to Seattle were trifling concerns at the moment.
"The library closes in half an hour." A dull, droll voice intoned. Baxter whirled, startled—he hadn't even heard the man's approach. It was the librarian again, he realized, trying to remember the man's name. Alex. No, Adam. No, Andrew.
"Wait, what?" Baxter asked. How did the library close when they weren't even in the library?
"The library closes in half an hour," Andrew repeated with irritation, his eyes dropping to the broken book in Baxter's arms. He shuddered, looking pained, and he was once more ignoring Guy and Rodrigo and the strange place around them like it wasn't at all out of place. Except, if what he'd said earlier was true, it wasn't. "If you're going to be checking books out, take them to the desk now."
"How do I get to the desk?" Baxter asked. "No, we need the coin, first."
"You have half an hour to figure that out," Andrew said, bored again. Baxter scowled. Weren't librarians supposed to be helpful? "Don't tally or you'll get stuck."
"Stuck?" Baxter repeated. He blinked, trying to make sense of what Andrew was saying. "Stuck here? For how long?" The library was open tomorrow, right? Surely he could enjoy a night of pirate love—and they might even agree to that threesome if he only had the one night—and be on his way tomorrow.
"Once you get stuck, you don't leave." Andrew shrugged. He glanced at his watch. "Twenty-seven minutes."
"That's not fair—" Baxter started, but he was talking to thin air. Andrew was gone.