Clean Romances discussion

Am I the only one that is totally grossed out by this story element?

I do not ever want to read about a sibling hooking up with the ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife of a sibling /best friend, not even if the ex is deceased!

I won't even touch such a book!

I didn't mind it in the old harlequins when they didn't sleep together but I'm creeped out when they have slept with sibling or best friend.

Sorry, the question is about sibling's ex or best friend's ex, right? Not about actual best friend or incest? Because if it's the former I see nothing wrong with it (also, if it's the best friend I don't see anything wrong with it). If it's done well, and the journey the characters make makes sense, then why not? Happens in real life too.

No, no, no, not with best friend or sibling[incest], Double Ewwwww!

The question is about your sister's/brother's....boyfriend/girlfriend/husband or wife.

There is no way I would have ever wanted to be with anyone who had been with my sister or even a bestfriend, to me that is just a smidgen less than incest! Just cannot wrap my mind around that at all.

I guess it's down to whether the author can convince you that it's ok in the context of the book, but I get what you mean, put like that it does sound icky.

Terry Osburn's Anchor Island series starts with a woman who goes home to meet her fiance's family, finds that she's made a mistake, and falls for his brother. It's a really good book and I'm fine with the change in relationship.

I would find it creepy if they'd been married for years and the brother/sister had a brother/sister relationship with the spouse during that time.

I did have that sort of reaction to the film Kate and Leopold... I'm hoping I missed something and should really watch it again.

Agree. If the characters had a brother/sister relationship for years while one was married to the family member or the best friend, then, ewwww.

But if you just met through your fiancé and you realize he's/she's the one, then you can't fight love! It comes once in a lifetime!

Louise Sparrow's remark reminded me of Susan Lucci's (general hospital actress) story of how she met her husband, her true love. (I love this story) She was already engaged to be married, but one day she walked into a room for some event, and as soon as she saw him she knew that was the man she wanted to live the rest of her life with. And they've been happily married for ages. This is one of the reasons why I do believe in love at first sight--it happens!

But isn't 'love at first sight', really lust at first sight, because that is going 100% on nothing but appearance?

There is no possible way to know a person's character, likes, dislikes, or anything, just by their looks, look at the case of Ted Bundy for instance!

My best friend of 46 years made that mistake with a guy she locked eyes with across an American Legion hall. Oh they had the physical attraction, but she learned too late that was all.

Four years later she was a single mom of a Down's syndrome boy after getting a restraining order and leaving the abusive alcoholic, for fear for her and her son's safety. Fortunately, she had the threatening, drunken, vicious voice mails from him on tape from her answering machine which the judge listened to, so the father was never allowed around them again, which surprisingly he never violated the restraining order like so many creeps do.

Well said, C. It's not love when you don't know the person.

Now, I have to admit that there are obviously some couples, who had the good sense to take it 'slow' after that initial attraction, and did get to know each other, and fell in love, because there are couples with long happy marriages to prove that.

I just think that there are far more who found out, it was only a physical attraction.

I guess we'll just have to agree to disagree. Because I wouldn't call it LUST; maybe a deep attraction that you've never felt for anyone else. And that attraction makes you want to, not lust and jump their bones, but there's that instant connection that creates a bond. In life, I wholly believe people SHOULD get to know one another. That's how I raised my daughter. He may be what you want on the outside, but it's the inside that really counts; and that's why that part is so important.

But since I write about perfection, not real life, of course the hero's that I write about will be THE ONE for the heroine, outside and in even if they get married two seconds later. But we all know that's not real life. I'm not nieve, I know that! But I also know that lust at first sight is not the correct description of meeting someone you have no doubt in your heart you want to get to know.

There's a BIG difference between what you describe about two people meeting across a room, and the feelings one experience when they meet THE one. It's rare, but it happens. A romantic at heart? Guilty. But I know that feeling; and yet I had to live without that in my life, and settle for the same SOB your friend had to deal with.

I've seen it too many times--someone points and says, "I'm going to marry him/her..."--they pursue, GET TO KNOW ONE ANOTHER, and the rest is history. Just because some people don't experience love this way, don't make it invalid, or relegated to lust. True love is revealed in more than one way.

Thank you for your thoughts. I respect them, and hope you can understand a little of where I'm coming from. And I know I misspelled Nieve:)

I don't know how to spell that either, but I use my Bing search engine for a spell check, lol! Just did and it's naive.

One's life experiences, help shape one's beliefs. You know of love at first sight situations that worked out, but I don't know of any. So naturally we will have different views on it.

Just as some are not bothered by much older men 10+years older, or romances such as those I mentioned n the OP, while either scenario grosses me out and I won't read it, lol!

**hugs** to you, C. You all--ite...

I'm so sorry that you had to go through a bad experience with love, but it's great to see that you still have hope.

((((((((((Groovy)))))))) back at you!