Fringe Fiction Unlimited discussion

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The Most Unlikely Beginnings
Blurb - The Most Unlikely Beginnings
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You could try cutting the blurb down if you wanted to one paragraph, maybe start with "Gifted with the most powerful weapon..." and see if that grabs attention, but I can't offer a guarantee with that one. Up to you!


Everything I have read said the first book doesn't really sell until you release the second one. Readers want to know there is a commitment from the author. You could also do some free giveaways, and lower the price. Anything that helps you garner more reads will shoot it up Amazon's chart.
You could probably stand to tighten the language in your blurb. Choose either ordinary or average, seems a bit redundant. The first sentence in the second paragraph. End it with the word Shoulders. Cut out the rest of the sentence as it is just restating the first part.
Also, unless you're trying to be campy, or take a line from the book, don't use exclamation points.
"Keep your exclamation points under control. You are allowed no more than two or three per 100,000 words of prose. If you have a knack of playing with exclaimers the way Tom Wolfe does, you can throw them in by the handful."
(Elmore Leonard)
"So far as good writing goes, the use of the exclamation mark is a sign of failure. It is the literary equivalent of a man holding up a card reading 'laughter' to a studio audience."
(Miles Kingston, Punch, 1976)
"Cut out all these exclamation points. An exclamation point is like laughing at your own joke."
(attributed to F. Scott Fitzgerald)


The SIGNET series is *supposed* to be a bit pulpy/campy. The assignment was mainstream science fiction. I got pulp. It's the best i could come with.

The only thing I noticed, other than that, was the need to tighten some things up.
Other than that, all you can do is just keep promoting it. Try some more free days.
On Amazon, it says it was published in January of this year. I know if you do a giveaway, there are some blogs and sites that will blast it out for you.
Everyone loves free, and even if just a fraction of the people who download it rate and review it, then you're going to catch the eye of other people.
@Lily. I didn't rewrite his blurb. He came in here and asked for suggestions, and I gave my opinion as to what worked and what didn't. No more than saying it was too long or too short, I just told him what came off redundant.

Ech,I hit up the dictionary and hadn't realised ordinary and average meant the same thing. No one pointed this out to me all this time >_<
You're right about the redundancy. I'll see to it, make it more attention grabby interest piquing and whatnots. I tend to struggle with catchy blurbs.

WHAT? I don't know how amazon got THAT. It was published JULY LAST YEAR. Maybe it's the ebook version it's displaying? Anyways... off to hammer out the sequel.

WHAT? I don't know how amazo..."
Yeah, it says January 4th of 2014. It says kindle version, and that is the first version that pulls up when you search it.
James Russell is just an ordinary, average desk jockey grinding away at a dead-end job with dreams of becoming a highly paid computer programmer. When he decides to duck out the office for an early lunch break, everything changes through an event of sheer chance - he obtains a mysterious power called The Signet!
Now gifted with the most powerful weapon in the universe, James learns that the fate of his planet rests on his shoulders once he gains superhuman abilities. Struggling between coming to grips with his newfound skills, battling alien assassins, dealing with women and not losing his job, he realizes the hard way that the only way to get his life back to normal is to fight for it… that is if he lives long enough!