Our Shared Shelf discussion

The lives of these women is so difficult to fathom. They have no control over their lives. They are made victims for speaking out against the horrific acts they endure.
This book has been very timely for me. Within days of starting the book, my son became a victim of bullying. Victim's are so very often to made to feel to blame for the injustices committed against them. My eyes have been opened & I am going to fight for victim's rights.

Even I was shocked when I read about Akku Yadav! I feel so sad while writing this because I did not expect to get to know that such barbaric crimes still persist in India. Here, some victims of rape who choose to speak up are subjected to a lot of social stigma and this overpowers the counselling that they receive.

I'm afraid I've nothing to add to this conversation, but Bri, when you discuss such topics as this one, please put on a pre-emptive TW or CW if and when you can, because for all we know, there are people among us who were raped or abused in some other way and did not speak up. As such, this isn't the kind of thing they'll want to read about without knowing so beforehand.

Fellow Shelf members: please take note of this as well, because I see an abundant lack of content warnings in this group in general and sometimes I feel like this is somewhat disrespectful to the mental health of victims/survivors who might be reading. Thank you.

As shocked and disheveled as I was after reading this chapter, I can't help but think of how proud I am of the women in this village for speaking up, standing together and protecting themselves and their families. Usha is but one woman, and it only took one WOMAN who stood up to start this movement! Education and courage is empowering and contagious.

Bri wrote: "Tim wrote: "I'm afraid I've nothing to add to this conversation, but Bri, when you discuss such topics as this one, please put on a pre-emptive TW or CW if and when you can, because for all we know..."

I'm not sure there's anything the mods can (or need to) do here. I just think that when we start a thread about something harsh (such as rape, domestic violence, addiction) we should mention so either in the thread's title or in the opening comment. You don't need to edit anything on my account, but I think it's best if we just keep it in mind for future threads or comments.

Agreed-I find the stories of individuals who have fought back to be so inspiring when they are contrasted with how horrifying and oppressive it must have been for so many of the people living in their communities.

It is true that anyone reading this thread could have possible difficulties, if we do go in depth.
Anyhow, I do think that the most important we should bear in mind is that we are not to judge anyone.
I personally, as I haven't suffered any physical abuse, I can't really know how I would act afterwards, but I guess that I could stay silent and not go to the police and so on.
So, even though that I believe that anyone who has suffered any kind of abuse, should press the respective charges, we should all try to give the support for anyone who does not know how to cope with the abuse, instead of judging, when we don't even know how we would act.
That said, apart from that, as the novel itself is quite harsh, I guess that anyone who has suffered any abuse and still reads the novel, is showing that (maybe) could deal with what we can be discussing, as long as it is respectful, correct me if I'm wrong.

PS: I haven't read every post, so maybe I am making a reflection and opening new threads. Sorry if so.

Meelie wrote: "Tough call (Tim/Bri/Anyone else interested!).

This thread, at the moment I think is okay? But a very good idea to add in to the title that it could be a possible trigger. However, I don't know how..."

Oh, don't get me wrong, I wasn't trying to ask or challenge whether or not this thread was okay to keep around, by any means. I just meant I think it best to give a prior warning before continuing the conversation. As for people not having heard of Akku Yadav before this thread, however, I do have to say I myself think I hadn't heard of it until now, so I'm sure there are survivors out there who haven't either.

Anyway, I'm sure there's no need to alter anything here, unless Bri thinks so; just some advice for future threads and posts (both on the Shelf as well as off).

Mahima said, "in India. Here, some victims of rape who choose to speak up are subjected to a lot of social stigma and this overpowers the counselling that they receive. "

Yes, the weight of social stigma is not to be underestimated. Yet, Usha succeeded in throwing it off.

What stood out for me in this chapter was the amount of support Usha finally received, and protection -

'...each of the people who had misdirected us (the authors were trying to find Usha in the slum neighbourhood) had send a child running over to her, warning her that a stranger was looking for her...'

I also want to say that I really hope that there are many women like Usha in many different parts of the world who are fighting just as she did. I am sure this is true.

The authors picked her as a great example. I am sure there are others.

Deana said , 'I can't help but think of how proud I am of the women...'
Well said, Deana, I am proud of them too!

When I was reflecting on this chapter, I couldn't help making parallels with the punishments for rape in the UK and Europe.

I find the lengths of the prison sentences handed out here for convicted rapists, frankly, derisory - far too short and often the person is released from prison well before the date proposed.

When the women hacked off Akku Yaddav's penis, I found it hard to read the passages - even though he was responsible for years of brutality and had hacked off the breasts of a woman.

But then I asked myself - why should I cringe at the violence? He was a violent man and if we had a similar sentence for convicted rapists here then the number of incidences would, I'm sure, fall drastically.

The logical part of me would agree with you, Emma.
I think that 'western' women have battled long and hard, and are still doing so, for equality and rights.

However, the issue of light sentencing for convicted rapists is an area that is still too led by a mostly-male judiciary who are dragging behind.

I basically feel that we are being all too reasonable about this and I see a parallel with issues discussed in Chapter 3, around the 'accepting nature of women' (to paraphrase).

Anyone else thought about it in that way?

I think that while we have come a long way in the west, there are still huge strides to make around the issues of sexual assault and consent. We've seen this around the Trump situation (where he boasted that as a celebrity he could get away with anything/everything), and there was certainly a lot of talk around the very light sentence for the Stanford (?) swimmer convicted of assaulting an unconscious woman, the Jimmy Saville case in the UK or the Jian Ghomeshi case in Canada. The pattern we see across all continents is the sense of power and entitlement that some men feel that allows them to assault women with impunity. I hope that as attitudes change and more women feel comfortable in coming forth and telling their stories and as more men and women believe and support those who tell their stories, things will improve.

I can understand the women, because they were furious and really hurt. But I don't think that the an-eye-for-an-eye tactic is a very good one.
The one who sentences doesn't want to become the same one as the one being sentenced, does he?

Personally, I think the retributive approach is best here; I think the victim should be allowed to decide what is to be done with their convicted sex offender, or at least be given *some* degree of say in the matter. Of course, there are things I find to be extreme (e.g. the death penalty), so whether or not I agree with the victim's verdict depends upon the rapist and what exactly they did.