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Archived Workshop No New Posts > dystopian fiction blurb question between two themes

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message 1: by Ellis (new)

Ellis | 3 comments Hi!
I've written a 150k dystopian thriller/futuristic book that is being edited and meant to be part of a series. I'm trying to decide between something more encompassing or shorter and a bit cheesier, but to the point, would love some help!!

Shorter:

Automation may change humanity, but it won’t change human nature.

Forced to flee their home tower when Theo was an infant, he and his mother scrape by, but they’ll never be anything but outsiders in their new home, until one day Theo is given the chance to train as a fighter, the last true profession. Unbeknownst to him, his journey is the opening move in a greater plot than any could imagine.

Spark tells the story of humanity’s descent into automation and artificial intelligence, and the wars waged to control them, fought with the last resource left: the sun’s energy.

Longer:

In the aftermath of a devastating war, people fled to the cities for safety. Using Artificial Intelligence, codenamed Ava, machines stripped the land to build giant self-sustaining towers, leaving a desolate wasteland.

Forced to flee their home tower when Theo was an infant, he and his mother scrape by, but they’ll never be anything but outsiders in their new home. Every job is menial and only the politically connected get a chance to have one, something an outsider could never hope for. But, one day Theo is given the chance to train for a new future.

Behind the scenes, a small shadowy group called Archons maintain control of Ava. Plagued by bitter infighting and politics, the Archons pit those around them in war with each other. Underlying their fighting is a deliberate effort to search for something that has eluded them for centuries, yet the harder they look, the more desperate their actions to find what they want. Little does Theo know, his journey is the opening move in their game.

Spark tells the story of humanity’s dependence on automation and artificial intelligence and the wars waged to control them, fought with the last resource left: the sun’s energy.


message 2: by Jane (last edited Apr 26, 2017 03:40AM) (new)

Jane Jago | 888 comments One for length. Two for content.

Automation may change humanity, but it won't change human nature.

Forced to flee their home tower when he was a babe in arms, Theo and his mother scrape by. But they will always be outsiders. Until Theo begins training as a fighter.

However, the shadowy Archons, who orchestrate the constant battles, are searching for something. And Theo will find he is just a pawn in their search.

Spark explores a world in which humanity relies on artificial intelligence, and how far the human race will go in its determination to control its fate.


message 3: by Ellis (new)

Ellis | 3 comments Nice slim down, thank you!


message 4: by Frances (new)

Frances Fletcher | 46 comments I like the longer version better. Your story is a large word-count world-building novel so your potential readership needs to know the fundamental storyline and story world before making a decision whether to buy or pass. Hopefully buy, of course.


message 5: by W. (new)

W. Boutwell | 157 comments split the longer version ibto a trilogy


message 6: by Ellis (new)

Ellis | 3 comments What do you mean split into a trilogy?

Thank you everyone!


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