The Reading Challenge Group discussion

Hi all. I'm reading a book right now, "Quiet: the power of introverts in a world that can't stop talking", and it got me thinking; do you consider yourself to be an introvert or an extrovert? Do you think most bookworms are introverts, or is that rubbish?

Great question! I consider myself to be an introvert but I have had to adapt for my job to have more extroverted skills. My natural state is definitely an introvert though. As for bookworms, I think the perception is that us worms are introverts but some of my best friends are serious bookworms and they are most definitely extroverts!

I know what you mean about adapting, Kassandra. My sisters and I do a pretty good job of putting on an extroverted front when we need to. I can't really imagine an extroverted bookworm, but of course there are probably many out there. I think us introverts just like to escape into good stories.

I love that book!

A lot of people have characteristics from both ends of the introvert/extrovert spectrum, which is I think when extroverts can enjoy sitting and relaxing with a book. My dad is an extrovert for the most part, but he enjoys reading in the evenings when his daily activities are done. Most extroverts are just so busy, and happily so, that they don't read as much as the more introverted bookworms do.

Me, I'm pure introvert. Socializing is exhausting for me, so I've always been that person at the party who sits in a quiet corner reading a book. ;)

I'm planning to read that book this year! I believe to be a friendly introvert as I like listening to people's stories but I don't like crowds or large parties. I consider a book a very nice company :-)

Kiwi wrote: "I'm planning to read that book this year! I believe to be a friendly introvert as I like listening to people's stories but I don't like crowds or large parties. I consider a book a very nice compan..."

Kiwi, I like the term 'a friendly introvert' that's what I consider myself and feel the same way in crowds or large parties! Nothing is sweeter than having an intimate chat or tea with another (maybe a glass of wine) or up to four, after that I'm lost. I also like to stitch, too! But books, they always take you places and you get to pick and choose the company you want to keep in that book. No hurt feelings if you decide to lay the book down and walk away.

Melissa wrote: "But books, they always take you places and you get to pick and choose the company you want to keep in that book. No hurt feelings if you decide to lay the book down and walk away."

I completely agree Melissa

Socialising is exhausting, I think that's why I like to come home and read, you don't have to talk back to the book :)

Oh and yeah that was a book I had coveted on amazon for months, and then I found it in a charity shop at the weekend for 50p!

I find the introvert/extrovert thing really perplexing sometimes, because whilst I think I probably do fall more on the introverted side of things, my extroverted qualities are ones that most people think dominate my personality. (like, whilst I do prefer small groups of friends and crave a "day off" if I've been too socially active.. With that group of friends I tend to actively socialise free of inhibitions.. and often very loudly, indeed).

But, then I guess no one's ever really forcing me to "pick a side", haha!

Sometimes we must just have both qualities in equal measures. :)

I'm the same as Mayme. I'm more introverted until I get to know someone, and then I'm more outgoing.

Mayme wrote: "I find the introvert/extrovert thing really perplexing sometimes, because whilst I think I probably do fall more on the introverted side of things, my extroverted qualities are ones that most peopl..."

I identify with this 100%. I'm extremely loud if you get to know me, but I'm very shy and quiet around people I'm not comfortable with.

Chase wrote: "Mayme wrote: "I find the introvert/extrovert thing really perplexing sometimes, because whilst I think I probably do fall more on the introverted side of things, my extroverted qualities are ones t..."

Yes Chase, I agree, I have my key moments of being loud and excited when I love the energy of my close friends or the common interests that brought us together. And of course, there is the day after when I can recuperate with my quiet hobbies and books.

I don't think that the introverted/extroverted is all one way or the other, I think its the combination that helps us to relate with others so we can enjoy and cope with relationships; makes us unique individuals, too. (Just thoughts.) :)

I'm definitely an introvert, not a 'friendly' one at that; I prefer to be by myself (reading or on the computer), random people trying to make conversation with me honestly annoys me. Dunno about bookworms in general, though. If you can find time to read, I don't think it matters whether you're an introvert or an extrovert.

Quiet was a terrific read! I also highly recommend The Introvert Advantage: How to Thrive in an Extrovert World, which I read several years ago, and which pretty much changed my life. Learning to give myself permission to leave a party early, to schedule down-time after social activities, not thinking of myself as weak or antisocial, or selfish, etc. was a very big deal to me at that time. (I come from extroverted people.)

Everything you guys have said fits into the Introvert behavior patterns, including how we "let loose" with friends/company where we have established a comfort level. It's unfortunate that the term "introvert" has been given so many negative connotations. I have been told repeatedly that I'm NOT an introvert, or that it's a SHOCK that I consider myself an introvert. Mostly because of an inadequate understanding of the term. (This doesn't count the workplace, where I actively work to exhibit as an extrovert. While using my secret, superhuman introvert skills to "read" every situation.)

Has anyone else looked into their Meyers-Briggs personality type? I'm an INFP.

I'll need to look into that, Renee :) I totally agree that that is all part of being an introvert. Oh, and I'm also an INFJ.

Renee, I took a psychology elective in high school, and I was an INFP, too. I am always being told that I am too quiet and too shy, but I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing. Why is it wrong for me to prefer to observe people, and listen to them rather than talking all the time?

Rebecca wrote: "Renee, I took a psychology elective in high school, and I was an INFP, too. I am always being told that I am too quiet and too shy, but I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing. Why is it wron..."

Could be extroverts are afraid of us. They don't understand people who do not need social crutches to live a fulfilled life.

Michael wrote: "Could be extroverts are afraid of us. They don't understand people who do not need social crutches to live a fulfilled life."

Well said! It does seem that way.

I have qualities of both and in fact I think dividing us up does all of bookworms a disservice. We are a dying breed so we should stick together.

I don't think we're trying to be divisive, Sue. I do think it is an interesting topic. This is a community of readers. I think it's encouraging that we can discuss our similarities, as well as our differences with consideration.

Well put Renee, and I have never had this considerate discussion before and so artfully put. I'll be looking into the two books that you suggested. I would also be interested in the personality types you all were talking about and where you took the tests.

I think discussing any topic with bookish people is exciting and interesting. Of course, they are the ones that have something to think about and discuss.

i am loving where this discourse is going!

i think it's very easy, even among introverts, to misread the finite nuances of other introverts.

i.e. being quiet versus being shy - both valid introverted qualities, but not necessarily two of the same kind of introverts. however, at first glance you could see how they would seem one and the same.

leading on from that, i don't think that most extroverts go out of their way to be critical of introverts. i think it's probably a genuine and fundamental difference in the way each group perceives human interaction. so, perhaps this is the platform where the metaphorical tug of war between the two groups exists.

i.e. the extrovert tries to coax the introvert "out of their shell" because they perceive their quiet/shyness to be discomfort, and the introvert is left feeling like they must explain that these features aren't flaws in their personality, rather it's just their personality.

oh, also, I'm an INFJ (but, that's according to the internet, so perhaps an INFJ with a pinch of salt) ^^

Good catch, Sandy. I didn't pick up on "social crutch." Although, honestly I have sometimes been guilty of using a "wingman/social crutch/understanding friend" to take the edge off uncomfortable social situations. :p

So my husband who is an extrovert (who does like to read) and I, a more closer to a middle introvert, make a good fit. Don't you think that the opposites attract in friendships and romances? And Sometimes he is my "wingman" in social situations, especially when I do not know a soul.

Love this by-the-way, learning so much. :)

Mayme, to bad, we could not pick up on the nuances of introverts and extroverts at an early age. It would make their relational experiences a positive growing period with less hang-ups.

Thanks Sandy, I'll look into these links and get back to you all.

This discussion has very interesting points, guys!

I've done the test many years before but I can't remember the result, so I've done a quick on-line test and turned up as INFJ. In the description it says "their friends and colleagues will come to think of them as quiet Extroverted type", which seem to confirm the friendly introvert in me :-)

I'm also seeing a lot of NFs here. That's interesting, too.

I did that test some years ago, and got ISTJ.

Sandy, yes, see opposites do attract; our marriage has not been dull either, rather quite fun over our 28 years tomorrow. So now as I figure out what I am, an INFJ. On Decisions, I'm more of a mix between Thinking and Feelings, a bit stronger on F (so says hubby and I think he is ESTJ).

This is really interesting. My boyfriend is an extrovert and I think that's part of what makes us so comfortable together - he can talk for Scotland and doesn't necessarily need an answer from me whereas I prefer to listen and don't like any pressure to speak, so it works perfectly.

Happy anniversary Melissa!

All of this great discussioin has prompted me to learn some more about the Myers-Briggs and I completed the test as well. My result: ISTJ, which was no suprise to me at all!

Like a lot of people on this thread, my hubby and I seem to be opposites in the introvert/extrovert piece. For us, this is a great balance, complemented by being quite similar in most other ways. It took a bit of learning to understand that we recharge and de-stress in very different ways!

Happy anniversary Melissa!

Happy anniversary Melissa! ^^

Apparently I'm an INTJ. Interesting...

Sandy wrote: "I am not comfortable with the term "social crutches" which, in my opinion, seems to have negative connotations and polarizes the whole extrovert/introvert question. Polarization is neither helpful nor productive."

Now that you've put it that way, I agree, but I interpreted Michael's comment to be in reference to extroverts who say that they "can't survive" if they're not socializing in every spare moment. Everything in moderation - introverts need a little socialization every now and then, or their reclusive behaviour becomes a crutch and a way to avoid life, just as extroverts need some quiet alone time every once in a while to do some self-reflection, or their socializing becomes a crutch and a way to avoid themselves. If that makes sense?

Thank you all for your well wishes! :)

Well put Faye, makes perfect sense!

I'm reading a biography of Theodore Roosevelt, and it suddenly occurred to me - he's the perfect example of an extroverted bookworm!

I'd go so far as to call him an EXTREME extrovert, and that applied to his reading habits, too - he would speed read at a million miles an hour, and went through thousands of massive books that way, still somehow managing to retain all the information. I wish I could do that!

Ha! I love the image of TR as the ultimate extroverted bookworm!

I am definitely an extrovert, and I find it almost next to impossible to read with others around me, especially in a social setting. I have taken the Meyers-Briggs test multiple times and each time I have gotten the ENFP, type and it perfectly describes me as a person. Despite me being a natural extrovert, I thrive on having alone time, where I meditate, read and write in my journal. So yes, I do have some introverted qualities, but they only come out when I am alone.

Monica wrote: "I am definitely an extrovert, and I find it almost next to impossible to read with others around me, especially in a social setting. I have taken the Meyers-Briggs test multiple times and each time..."

That's really cool! It sounds like you've got the best of both personality groups. :)

I'm just adding a quick comment here to see if any of the new members have anything to add to this conversation. It has been awhile since the last comment, but Kiwi reminded me of the thread recently and I thought I'd try to revive it since it was such an interesting chat.

I'm an INTJ. I only finally gave up on trying to fight my introverted side over the last few years. My mother constantly pushed me to be more bubbly, but the attempts only ever made me feel more socially spastic.

I am INFP, like Renee. I am an introvert, though I can still appear to enjoy myself in social situations, if I am "forced" to attend them. But usually I prefer to be with one person or two at a time, I dislike large groups of people. And I dislike parties.
Curiously enough, it seems like it is the same here on Goodreads, I don't seem to "get on" well in large groups - or at least, I find them too confusing and "noisy" in a virtual way. I prefer smaller groups, where I can interact with a not so large number of people. However, I am a member of some large groups and I do enjoy being in them, it's just that I don't seem able to comment and interact so much.

I am an introvert. I would rather be extroverted, but that is just not me. Like Megan, my mother pushed me to be more extroverted but it made it worse. I am dyslexic and that does not help. Sometimes I know what I want to say but can't get the words out of my mouth. That can be awkward in large groups. I have sensitive ears, so being in a large, noisy group is not a fun experience.

I live with my elderly father, a major extrovert: he reads every day. I am a serious introvert (and only a friendly one if I have to be) and read EVERY day a LOT. As well as work, paint, cook craft work etc. As to Meyers-Briggs I am a consistent INFP. I spent several years (odd circumstances) alone except for saying please and thank you in shops and I didn't much miss company - a dog would have been nice, they don't talk (much haha)

Now imagine me, the noise-hating introvert living with my extrovert, very loud-voiced father who can bend ears for NZ. Yes, you are right, it needs a lot of tolerance - from both of us. Luckily we are both animal mad and have quite a few dogs and cats - he can get a conversation out of me about them that may even last more than 2 minutes (about my tolerance level for chatting)

Now, I do think most people have some of both introversion and extroversion - but like anything that is a polarity, most are towards the middle and a few are at the extreme ends. (Da and me obviously amongst those ones).

I believe the main ingredient in being a reader is who brought you up and second, introversion may emphasise the likelihood. My Da is a reader - his mother was a big reader. Both my parents read a lot and my mother taught me to read at the age of 2.

I and one other sibling read compulsively, another sibling is genuinely dyslexic but learns about his interests extensively via other media - same behaviour, different channel. One final sibling thinks magazines are 'books'. *shakes head* Not sure what happened there!

I was referred to this thread by Kiwi, who I can see reads even more than me!

Marina - are you sure you are not me? :)

What do all the four leter personality abbrievations stand for? Honostly, I dont do good in karge gatherings but if its all people I know then I can be the life of the party

Myers-Briggs Personality testing, Jenny - there are many abridged versions available online.

Like Deborah, my father is a well-read extrovert. The difference I've noticed is that part of his enjoyment is to then go find someone to tell about the book he has just read. Lol. I tend to be more introspective about my reading. Taking it all in, analyzing, feeling what the characters feel, etc.

Jenny-
You should definitely Google. Based on conversations we've had, I think you'd find it fascinating. Each letter stands for the different ways people interact. And while we do have some of each in us, it's to different degrees.

Renee....yes, exactly like that! Books become another method of pinning someone by the ears for him....hehehe! Plus he also gets to enjoy the read....sly dogs, these extroverts!