Navigating Indieworld Discussing All Things Indie discussion
Getting To Know You!
>
Coping with the winter blues - how do you do it?
date
newest »

message 1:
by
Josie
(new)
Nov 06, 2017 09:27AM

reply
|
flag

Sausages and beans are more of a mashed potato meal for me, another perfect potatoey remedy for cold weather.

Has anyone ever used a SAD lamp? I've always wondered if they do anything at all.
Last year I bought a couple of Himalayan salt lamps. They're supposed to help in some way.

One of the great things about winter is the night sky. Some of the most brilliant parts of the sky are up on winter nights: the band of sky from Cassiopeia to the north through Persius, Auriga, Gemini, Orion, and Canis Major is stunning, even if you live under considerable light pollution. Okay, it can be cold out, but bundle up and have a look some clear night in December or January or February!
I love the night sky- It looks like velvet- the kids come over and we all stargaze- then, Alex we drink hot chocolate.
My husband gets that way every winter. It's hard when you know the person you love is struggling and there are no easy answers. Sometimes it feels like there is an oppressive layer hanging over him, and me, by association. I have learned to live with it the way Mr. Bennet talks about his wife's nerves. I think of the line often "I have a high respect for your nerves. They are my old friends. I have heard you mention them with consideration these twenty years at least."
Sometimes it's not about getting over, so much as embracing and pushing through.
My husband gets that way every winter. It's hard when you know the person you love is struggling and there are no easy answers. Sometimes it feels like there is an oppressive layer hanging over him, and me, by association. I have learned to live with it the way Mr. Bennet talks about his wife's nerves. I think of the line often "I have a high respect for your nerves. They are my old friends. I have heard you mention them with consideration these twenty years at least."
Sometimes it's not about getting over, so much as embracing and pushing through.

I love the dark. Outside, night-sky dark, I need proper lighting indoors if I'm not trying to sleep, and we probably have LEDs too now. We went to the cinema last Friday night and it was great (film wasn't, but I liked being outside after dark).
My husband gave up using his telescope because of cloud cover and light pollution, which was a shame. I think he's too tired to be outside that late waiting for the sky to clear.
I'm not sure if I've ever had SAD. I've certainly been diagnosed with depression in the past. People who come out with "just think positively" get my mental "spork in the eye" treatment. Or maybe my mental "slight tap round the head with a ruddy great sledgehammer." (Last time I checked I couldn't be arrested for my thoughts.) As you say Alex, unless someone has been there, they may not understand.
My main problem with winter was walking on icy pavements. For years I walked 4-6 miles a day doing the school run. I am terrified of icy pavements. I never fell over on them, but because I fell over plenty of other times, I was always scared the ice was going to get me. I've got boots with retractable crampons and hiking poles for stability (got a disability that leaves me unstable on my feet), but it still scares me.
I would love to be in your position Carmel. We used to have a holiday in February too.
Alex wrote: "I like the stars, Dale, though I find it far too cold to go outside and enjoy them.
Carole, you have such a great way of looking at things. It's a shame your husband has to deal with this, and a ..."
I was prepared my whole life to handle it. We didn't know about depression in the "old" days. My mom was depressed and had trouble functioning some times. My grandmother lived with us and we knew when she was in a sad state, we just had to wait for her to come out of it. It was just accepted as part of life. My father was a concentration camp survivor- so between my mom and grandmother, we were encouraged not to give him any grief- He had enough hurt and loss to sustain him for a lifetime- so we all bounced around their moods. I didn't even realize what depression was until I was much older- married for years and realized my husband had the same issues as my mom. I finally got the memo, it wasn't about being in a "bad" mood. They saw things differently- a anthill was a volcano. I'm not saying everybody has this. But, I learned what someone thinks is nothing, may be really something to someone else and the worse thing you can do is not respect that. I think I didn't understand the scope of my dad's losses until the morning after I lost him- Then I saw his world with new clarity. So, even though I live with someone who is depressed, I may not feel his pain, I know it is real for him and I understand I have to treat it that way. If someone hurts themselves physically we collectively sympathize with their pain. Some hurts are on the inside and we must be as compassionate.
Carole, you have such a great way of looking at things. It's a shame your husband has to deal with this, and a ..."
I was prepared my whole life to handle it. We didn't know about depression in the "old" days. My mom was depressed and had trouble functioning some times. My grandmother lived with us and we knew when she was in a sad state, we just had to wait for her to come out of it. It was just accepted as part of life. My father was a concentration camp survivor- so between my mom and grandmother, we were encouraged not to give him any grief- He had enough hurt and loss to sustain him for a lifetime- so we all bounced around their moods. I didn't even realize what depression was until I was much older- married for years and realized my husband had the same issues as my mom. I finally got the memo, it wasn't about being in a "bad" mood. They saw things differently- a anthill was a volcano. I'm not saying everybody has this. But, I learned what someone thinks is nothing, may be really something to someone else and the worse thing you can do is not respect that. I think I didn't understand the scope of my dad's losses until the morning after I lost him- Then I saw his world with new clarity. So, even though I live with someone who is depressed, I may not feel his pain, I know it is real for him and I understand I have to treat it that way. If someone hurts themselves physically we collectively sympathize with their pain. Some hurts are on the inside and we must be as compassionate.


Amen! This is great advice, Carole. Thank you. Sometimes life hurts so much it's hard to know what to do next, but the worst thing to do is nothing. We always must keep moving forward, no matter how painfully or slowly. Hugs

And it is a grueling process, sometimes, to come off. I wish you well as we head into the long dark. I hope you find something that helps.
I struggle in January and February. It helps to keep myself busy, but it is a fine line. If I put too much on my plate, I become overwhelmed. I did get some of those Himalayan salt rock lamps last year and it wasnt as bad. I am not sure if the lamps helped though or if it was the more mild winter. Some of my family and friends swear they work.

Music, yes Carmel, I have to listen to music to get through everything.

I haven't read all the answers as it's bed time here in the U.K. so please excuse me if I repeat any suggestions.
In terms of getting the nearest thing to daylight from a lamp, the company that gets all the accolades from people who need perfect light is 'Serious Readers'. You could Google it and ask for a brochure. It's a British company run by Alex who even has a lamp called the 'Alex'. They provide light for space craft, forensic science labs and so on. Only drawback is they're expensive. Worth investigating though.
I imagine if you suffer from SAD and you write (i.e. you're sitting still for long periods of time) then having one of these lighting up your desk might make a difference. I don't suffer from SAD, but I do find mine has been worth having because, as it says in the brochure, it's close to being bright daylight on my desk.
I've just flicked through the responses, Alex, and there's some wise words scattered within.
Music, yes, music. It's a well known pick-me-up. Go for it, Alex. Eat the right foods, those that contain all the vitamins etc. or take a multi-vitamin tablet every day, vitamin D foods (or tablets) are needed more in the winter - but you probably know all this. As has been said, sometimes we just have to keep going, doing the best we can, until the glorious spring sunshine finally arrives.

I once lived in the mountains, where there was snow, biting wind chill, and other dastardly things. It was tough to get through. I learned my lesson.