2018 Beyond the Classics discussion

“Three Little Words” by Ashley Rhodes is a memoir written by an individual who spent a large chunk of her life in foster care. This book focuses on both the highlights and low points of Ashley’s life and shows the reader how she dealt with the foster care system. You follow Ashley from home to home and family to family where she is faced with many different family members and then complete strangers at times. It is no secret that there are some horrors associated with the foster care system but I believe looking at the system from such a personal perspective is key to understanding the system. It is a well written and honest book which I enjoyed very much.

The book starts with Ashley explaining the day she was initially taken away from her family. Ashley never knew her father and therefore, lived with her mother, brother, and Dusty. Dusty was the father of Luke, the brother making Dusty the father figure for Ashley. They were by no means a perfect family and that caught up to them when CPS showed up. Although Lorrianne was not a great mother, Ashley loved her with all of her heart. Once taken away, her journey through the system began. Luke was along for the journey as well. He was younger and Ashley and he were separated and reunited multiple times.

Ashley had a lot to deal with as a child. She was moved over and over again from state to state in hopes of either finding a new, permanent home or being reunited with her mother. It was clear to the reader that Ashley’s mom was not fit for motherhood because of all the empty promises she provided Ashley. Eventually, Ashley was forced by the system to give up that hope of being with her mom again. Through all of her personal struggles, she also had Luke to somewhat look after. If Luke and Ashley were together, Luke clung to her. Luke was the more troublesome one out of the pair which made trying to get adopted far more difficult. No matter how much Luke was punished, he continued to do whatever he pleased. Ashley was forced to mature very quickly because of her situation.

The best part of this book for me was the honesty. Writing the novel, Ashley was able to return to her childhood innocence where she was unaware of a lot. She was blinded by love from who her mother actually was. She had to deal with abuse, false hope, heartbreak and much more but through it all, she was able to accept when she was in the wrong. She included the parts when she lashed out and acted on impulse which made the book much more real. In addition to all of this, Ashley does manage to highlight her academic skills as well. She is a gifted student who was not able to perform at her fullest potential because she was moved from school to school so often. In every school she went to, she excelled. Ashley did a very good job of providing honest details of her situation which aided her in gaining the reader’s trust.

The most difficult part of the book for me was the time update system. The way Ashley marked age throughout the book was by talking about how each of her birthdays was spent. This gave me a general idea however, I would've like the explicit detail of how much time was spent in each home or shelter. Even if they weren't explained as the book progressed, it would have been a useful list to be incorporated at the end of the book. Seeing a timeline would've let me get a true sense of how frequently moves happened.

This has been the first memoir I have read. It was very interesting to me because I have always felt sympathetic towards children in foster care. I understand that the system is not always such a difficult place as it was for Ashley but no matter what, it is a challenge. I would recommend this book to anyone who is interested in the foster care system and who benefits from learning about such a personal side of a topic. Personal stories have always helped me put meaning to a topic and this book assisted me to maintain that strategy of gaining knowledge.