Axis Mundi X discussion

Today I had to sort through a pile of junk in my back yard that had been sitting under a plastic tarp all winter. Two years ago I moved from a large house to a small one, and here I am still sifting through the massive amounts of cool but useless objects acquired in the years between marriage and moving. Last summer I compiled all the things I no longer needed or had room for an held a massive yard sale. What was left I decided to donate to Goodwill. But little did I know that Goodwill is randomly picky about what it wants to haul off. They left behind at least half of the stuff. In a moment of optimism I covered in a giant blue tarp and left it for another yard sale another day. Well, that was a truly lousy idea. Because today I had to dig through the same pile of crap which has now become moldy, rotten and filled with salamanders and black widow spiders.

Somehow, this is a metaphor.

While dealing with the skeletons in my yard it put me in mind of things we shove to the back of our lives, hoping not to have to deal with them. I am a chronic procrastinator about things I'd rather not deal with. I suppose I'm not Superwoman, and I can't do absolutely everything, and I have been a single working mother for almost 14 years now... but still. Clearly I have priorities and they don't include hauling junk, recycling cardboard, filing my taxes on time, cleaning the cat box every day, scrubbing the inside of the fridge.

I walk around with this idea in my head that I'm the only loser who leaves ridiculous stuff at the fringes of her life. Occasionally it occurs to me that it's probably untrue. So, in the interest of proving that once and for all...

What have you left undone in your world that threatens to slither out from under a rock and bite you with venomous teeth when you're not looking? Come on... fess up... you know you wanna.

well i put the christmas tree in the garage near the garbage and recycling bins in January
it was my daugther who hauled it back out onto the patio between the garage and patio last week
because we haven't hauled it away

so multi-generational ridiculous losers leaving stuff at the fringes of their lives

and please-the friggin christmas tree?
symbol of family happiness turned brown and withering behind the basketball pole?

i'd have to be a total literary dunderhead not to see the deeper meaning in that

You know, I don't know if people are procrastinators as much as they prioritize differently. What's wrong with that?:)

I have this weird habit of working extraordinarily hard in some areas and letting others slide, but I think it's because some areas just aren't as important to me. For example, I love working in the garden but I don't care a lot about the lawn. This drives my lawn psycho neighbor increasingly insane. However, I'm determined not to let his insanity impact the way I spend my summer afternoons. Do I want to look back on my life and say "wow, my lawn was perfect..."

I also immediately raise an eyebrow whenver a new hire at work says he or she is "organized". That often is code for "I want everything and everyone to work on my schedule and I'm going to be a petulant brat and insinuate that everything is wrong if I don't get my way." I LOVE, in a particularly adolescent fashion, the fact I can dress like crap at work and still lead part of the organization. This seems to esp. confuse the women with husbands working in corporate settings. Hey, I've got nothing against them, let them wear a suit every day, but why should I have to wear one? Jeans for me, thanks.

I worry more about general clutter than anything. If games, books, etc. start to pile up I'll get bugged enough to organize. I generally clean the entire first floor on Saturdays. My kids' rooms are a lost cause, but I try not to make a big deal of that. I guess I'm medium with cleaning. My wife has a much higher tolerance for clutter than myself.

My garage is a serious disaster. I've been meaning to clean that sucker for a couple years...but as, esp. in the winter, I only see it when I get in and out of my car, it's easy to forget.

I guess I'm talking about things that could be arguably described as "unimportant", though. I tend to be straightforward, probably too much so, with addressing conflict and the like. I don't like to let that type of shit sit...I'd rather deal with it head-on.

Everything. I do nothing until I absolutely have to. If that petrified Christmas tree out back is symbolic then I'm in serious trouble, Maureen!

I'm great about making sure that everything is in it's place and gets done on time at work... might even be though of a little retentive if anyone could see my Outlook calendar and task lists. Therefore, friends from work are always shocked when they see my car, and I wouldn't dream of letting any of them see my home. Spending time with family and friends definitely trumps any kind of cleaning or organizing at home. For example:

1) I currently have a crock pot (with a lid at least) on the floor boards of the back seat of my car with what I think used to be chili-cream cheese dip from around Christmas time.

2) We got a new dog and it went to the bathroom in the living room, which caused our old one to also and started an all-out war. Rather than continue to deal with cleaning it, I got rid of the dogs (to better homes). I had the carpet cleaned, but it's stained. Rather than replace it with the roll I have in the garage (or even cover it with the matching garage carpet), I moved the couch and coffee table over the stain.

3) I haven't cleaned my fridge since Thanksgiving, or opened it since Christmas. We just eat out so I don't have to think about it.

4) I finally replaced my car but not until the suspension went bad (it's been popping for about 18 months), The driver's side window broke (2 years ago), the blinkers decided to only work erratically (8 months and a lot of arm signals ago), One door stopped opening from the outside and another stopped opening from the inside, the passenger seatbelt stopped working, the rear wiper stopped working (3 years ago or so), and finally the front wipers stopped working (I live in Oregon, this finally motivated me to buy a new car in November, about 8 weeks after it happened).

5) My Christmas wreath is still hanging beside my door.

6) The camping supplies, including the firewood are still in the back of the above-mentioned car, which I haven’t bothered to have hauled off yet. It’s parked in my driveway and I’m parking the good car on the street.

&) Too many other examples to list here, but I’m sure you get the point.

I'm a lot like the frog in the pot of water. Things slowly go wrong and I just adapt until finally one day I realize that I'm endangering myself every time I leave the house. So you’re definitely not alone out there Charissa.

Oh I am the biggest procrastinator.

1. I am notoriously horrible about going to the post office to buy stamps or to mail packages. Meghan will attest to that. This is the first year in the 7 years that I have known her that she has gotten her birthday gift on time. I bought another friend a Christmas gift and mailed it around Valentine's day.

2. My back yard is a disaster. I hire someone to do the yard work but it seems all anyone does is mow (I've been through 3 different gardeners in 2 years because I want someone who will pull weeds and trim hedges etc.)

3. Our garage gets cleaned out periodically but it gets so cluttered so fast. My husband for some reason doesn't believe in throwing away or recycling boxes. (Actually it's just laziness/procrastination) So any time we get something that comes in a box the box gets tossed into the garage and he's only gathered them up and taken them to the recycling place once.

Yeah, I'm with Donald on this one. I'm at the point where, before I buy something, I have to ask myself, "where am I going to store this shit if I get sick of it? Do I really need/want it?" Perhaps clutter is the American's path to Buddhism.

Someday I'm going to turn my basement into an office...someday...

Oh I feel so much better!!! I'm NOT the only loser on the planet whose clutter is eating her brains like a zombie. Yay!!!

My favorite is Clackamas's crockpot in her car. OMG I feel certain I had something like that in one of my cars at one time. A boyfriend at the time used to tease me mercilessly every time we drove in my car somewhere. He was like... "Is this a three week old peanutbutter and jelly sandwich back here?" Of course it was probably 3 months old... Oh the shame.

Anthony... lawn Nazis drive me insane. I used to have a neighbor who I called "The Church Lady" because she was just like Dana Carvey's character on SNL. She went to church every Sunday with her little old lady friends with their little white gloves on and then they would all gather for potluck after. She used to come stand in her kitchen door and watch me try and work on the strip of lawn that grew in my driveway. She'd say things like... "I don't know why you don't just pave it over." Of course her yard looked like Sunset Home and Garden. Bitch. It was all I could do to mutter pleasentries to her through clenched teeth. If she hadn't been a little old lady I totally would have torn her a new one.

:::happy sigh::: I am not alone...

What about the deeper, more important things we are all putting off? Conversations we're avoiding? Doctor appointments we're afraid to make? Life decisions we're not making? Demons we're not facing? What about spiritual clutter? Huh?

OK, I'm just kidding. Kind of. I'm just wanting to make the point that we procrastinate anything unpleasant - not just cleaning out the garage but cleaning up the junk that accumulates within us.

Yes, Donald, but none of us are as forthcoming about the scary things we're putting off as we are about the crusty dishes in our cars and unmowed lawns.

Holy s--t, Keo. Is that poisonous?

You see, the advantage of living through Wisconsin winters is the lack of big insects and scary snakes. We get snakes, but they're small and harmless.

Ack!

Only if you had a backyard like Charissa's, you wouldn't have been able to see the snake, you'd've (<---like that contraction? =0) just pulled the tarp back and there it would have been, all surprised and such so that it'd've really gotten you. So... it's good that you have your things that bite and crawl out in the open where they can be dealt with (not to get too introspective or metaphorical on you)

What is that in the shadow? A bunny?

rattler! Cool!! Nice desert yard by the way Koe... very dramatic and beautiful.

Yeah Sarah... we're all less forthcoming with the interior clutter. I know one thing I've been avoiding for years... taking my writing career really seriously. I've had a few things published, but when I had my chapbook of poetry published and some members of my extended family read it I was put through hell by them and a few others. It has made me terribly gun shy about publishing and given me the worst writers block in the world (okay, maybe not the world, but it feels that way). So instead I make crafted items that are lovely in their own way, but it's all by way of avoiding that which I feel is my true calling. I put a big blue tarp over that part of my life and don't dare lift it. Even though the rains have stopped.

What's that quote?...

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us."

Yeah... that.

7 years ago i moved from maine to florida
then last year to California
i called good will, salvation army and the local church
in a matter of 30 minutes they came in and hauled away living room funrniture, 2 semi working dishwashers, kitchen, bedroom furniture and 30 plus houseplants all grown from clippings over 10-15 years
other sentimental things i gave away and managed to only put 3 5x8 crates in storage
gone were the 3 boxes of unsorted mail and student loan default notices
gone were the 2 boxes of broken crockery that i'd saved to make mosaics out of
gone were precious and not precious possesions
it was liberating and sad all mixed
and now my cousin is asking me to make another cut because he can't keep it all in storage in his warehouse any longer
i haven't become anything better for lack of possesions
in fact i've accumulated everything again except i now throw away the default notices
and i'm not attached to broken crockery
i'm still doing duty with my grandchildren and defer my life as my children live theirs
so yah the stuff holding me is all psychological
symbolic stuff may remind me but getting clear of the stuff isn't a sure way to get rid of the internal clutter
i have a large box of writing from my life
i have an emily dickinson complex
if it's all left in a box
unseen, unread, unheard by anyone
then it stands for something
life work
seems pretty pretensious
it's just easier to fix cereal for the children in the morning, take them to school, check their homework, be there when i'm needed

and sad.

yup yup
but they get me with the puppy dog eyes every fuckin time
big brown eyes run in the family and infectious grins
i look at them they look at me
and next thing i know i'm washing their clothes or feeding them brie
(ok so they won't eat brie but kraft doesn't rhyme and i'm workin on the brie and maps a la national g and an occaisional chopin cd to subvert them)
i did develop writing when my children were little and will fit something creative in this gig it just takes some time
i shall not be a raisin in the sun!

I've only read the first few posts of this thread, but Maureen, BE CAREFUL. I was wandering in a back yard with a friend when we were kids and she tripped, landing on a branch... that stuck straight through her leg. I had to carefully pull her off of it so it didn't break off in her leg, then carry her into the house where she was whisked off to the hospital for surgery and such. I'd say that's one bit of periphery junk worth getting out of there.

Okay, finished reading...

First... Now it is so cluttered... it’s more of an assault on my psyche instead of a boon for it. That's just a great line, Donald. And exactly why I am where I am.

I am a bit OCD when it comes to organization. (I had a business for a while where I did home & office organization, actually.) It's not over-the-top, I mean right now for instance, I have a load of clean laundry on my chair and a few piles of things I'm working on sitting on the desk (which if I'm honest, I hate). But I like everything to have a place, and prefer to never let the mess of my space get so much that ten or fifteen minutes straightening can't solve it.

Because I am "borrowing" a tiny space right now, some of my things are in my parent's storage unit. However, even those things I continue to purge as time allows. (FYI, when I finally get my own place again, I want lots of S-P-A-C-E, not things!)

But here's a big reason why I am slightly obsessive about organization... I'm going through the ringer in way too many important areas of life currently, so keeping that part of my world ordered is my little piece of sanity. Now, since I was a child I've been an organizational and neat freak, but it's stepped up, in both positive and negative ways, since chaos has ensued. Of course those points of stress causing said chaos are likely precisely what I should be relating here... the places where the creepy-crawly things are infesting.

In one of my all-time favorite television series, the main character said, "My idea of the ultimate luxury is to be able to move all my worldly goods in one taxi." I love that idea! Okay, with my book collection, I realize I can never actually attain this, but keeping that in mind helps me keep pairing down. I even *GASP* gave away a few of my books recently!!! :D

Yes, things can help trigger fond memories, and that's rather nice, but I'd rather have that part of my psyche free of clutter so that I can keep getting filled up with new memories!

Oh, and yes I'm single. And my goal is to live life abroad and/or on the road, so in my case less is possible... and really is more.

and then a metaphor swarmed out of hay bales and ACTUALLY BIT ME!!! bloody hell... do not tempt the gods... do not tempt the gods... they have a rather nasty sense of humor.

Do they fly? Did they team up like a flea circus and fight through your defenses with their acrobatic skill? How did ants kick your ass? Couldn't you outrun them? Stomp them with your boots?

Insects One, Charissa, Zero....

whwadishee?

now i can't fuckin walk out my back door?

be careful don't stick a christmas tree bough in my leg?

I live with my two oldest adult children and 2 grandchildren after giving up a not so lucrative career in real estate and i've got a plastic box of bad, better, not bad, and maybe good poetry that details all the excruciating moments of my pathetic depressing life that i keep carrying around

and i'm supposed to worry about impaling myself on a christmas tree bough?

i should be so lucky!

;)

and donald beleive me with my name i do understand but could ya maybe put the little irish dude away until maybe the 17th? for some reason he's creepin me out

Anthony... they totally swarmed up my arms and ALL OVER MY BODY before I even realized they were there!!! I grabbed the hay bales to move them and was ATTACKED!! I had them swarming up inside my shirt and down my pants and throughout my hair!!! There were millions of them!! and then they started BITING ME!!!

seriously, city boy... you have no idea...