Write, Wrote, Written discussion
Alice's Writing
>
Book by Ruby and I
date
newest »
newest »
message 1:
by
Kamiko
(new)
Aug 10, 2014 04:17PM
Can't wait to read more! Intriguing!
reply
|
flag
Mod
Mod
Mod
“What’s going on?” I screamed. The train began shuddering violently and more yells reached my ears. It seemed as if the train was going to run off the tracks! I glanced out the window, but quickly pulled my head back, my stomach churning.
A bridge could be seen off in the distance and the entire train was trembling and jerking. “Mother! Mother!” A girl not much younger than me was entering the car. She was stumbling and falling, and I quickly pulled her into the seat next to me. I wrapped my arm around her shoulder and said over the whir of the engine, “Hello, what’s your name? Where are you parents?”
She looked up at me; tears streaked down her face and said softly, “Cheri… my name is Cheri… I-I don’t know where they are, I was just going to the bathroom and suddenly the train started shaking- I can’t remember where their seats are! Help me… Please...I must…find them… …” She dissolved into a mess of tears and I awkwardly patted her shoulder. The train continued shaking, getting worse every minute. The bridge got closer and closer, and I wondered angrily where the conductor and other employees had gone.
I realized with a start at this rate we would crash right on the bridge, and probably fall to the rocks and water below. I gulped and tried not to think about that. After a while, I looked around and noticed the car had gone eerily silent, as if we were all waiting with bated breaths for the crash to come. No shouts or screams, just terrified breathing and the occasional sob. I looked down to find the girl clutching my arm tightly, her eyes squeezed shut. I brushed frizzy brown hair from her face and the girl seemed to wake immediately. She whimpered and said, “What’s gonna happen?” I shook my head. I didn’t know.
I glanced out the window again and gave a sharp intake of breath. The bridge that was miles away was now only about a hundred yards and closing in. I looked back at the other passengers and saw they were stirring also. Yells erupted again from the back, signaling others had looked out the windows, too. The girl, Cheri, beside me sat up and looked around, frightened. I once again thought about the conductor’s lack of existence, but my angry thoughts were interrupted with a gigantic jolt from the train. Suddenly, someone streaked past me with inhuman speed. All I caught was a wisp of black hair and a glowing sphere in the person’s hand.
Another jolt, and I forgot all about the girl, I realized the train had left the tracks. This was the end. Cheri looked at me with big, brown eyes. “Are we gonna-“ Then a bang and a crash, and the world went black.
~~~~~~~~~~
Very good story, I am confused-did the girl die at the end, you might want to make it more clearly of what happened bit very good storyGood job!
Mod
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooow this stuff is goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooood
Mod
Alice wrote: "“Hello? You alright?” I woke to find a cold hand slapping my face. I groaned and didn’t move. “She isn’t waking, give me the water bucket-“
But I scrambled to a sitting position before the voice ..."
I NEED THIS BOTTLE
But I scrambled to a sitting position before the voice ..."
I NEED THIS BOTTLE
Mod
Mod
why..why...why.....shamazing stuff
Mod
'guess I've been busy....
Mod
