YA Buddy Readers' Corner ♥ discussion

It’s 2002, a year after 9/11. It’s an extremely turbulent time politically, but especially so for someone like Shirin, a sixteen-year-old Muslim girl who’s tired of being stereotyped.

Shirin is never surprised by how horrible people can be. She’s tired of the rude stares, the degrading comments—even the physical violence—she endures as a result of her race, her religion, and the hijab she wears every day. So she’s built up protective walls and refuses to let anyone close enough to hurt her. Instead, she drowns her frustrations in music and spends her afternoons break-dancing with her brother.

But then she meets Ocean James. He’s the first person in forever who really seems to want to get to know Shirin. It terrifies her—they seem to come from two irreconcilable worlds—and Shirin has had her guard up for so long that she’s not sure she’ll ever be able to let it down.

Curious to see how this pans out.

Opening chapter is hard to not feel sympathy for our main character.

Karen wrote: "Opening chapter is hard to not feel sympathy for our main character."

The opening chapter definitely killed me a little bit. It was awful to read about what she was going through.

55% (view spoiler)[ Okay so... I can understand Shirin's point in wanting to protect them both of them from the hate that would surely come their way, but I think Ocean should really be the one to decide that? I mean it's not just her decision. It should be both of theirs really. I hope Shirin opens up more and lets him in because Ocean really is adorable. (hide spoiler)]

75% (view spoiler)[I honestly want to hit everyone. I hate this mentality of a few people in this group did something bad, so everyone in that group is bad. That's not how it works!!! Especially since you can never seem to apply that same logic to white people. Leave Shirin and Ocean alone. Let them be happy! (hide spoiler)]

I looooove this book so much!(≧∇≦)♡

Up to ch6. Her awkwardness around Ocean is hard to credit, but it’s interesting to see her try to deal with others’ prejudices.

Finished (view spoiler)[ That ending was sad, but perfect. I loved the book so much. Ocean really taught her so much about how people can be and she did the same for him. I'm thrilled they got to be happy even if it was for a brief period of time. (hide spoiler)]

Up to ch14. I’m not convinced by the timing of the new mystery guy.

Up to ch19. Probably because of my background I cannot understand why someone would overthink something so straightforward as spending time with a friend.

Just bought this today... hopefully I can start to catch up.

I’ll happily comment Grace as you catch up. Up to ch25 and I’m liking how honest Shirin and Ocean are about their relationship.

Up toch30. Really hope Shirin doesn’t do what it looks like she will.

Finished. Review on home page. Loved this, but it was a tough read.

Just finished this and love it. It was a really quick read for me, I just could not put it down.

I'm slowly reading this.

I didn't know if I'd be able to get to this one, but I'm starting today!

Chapters 1 - 5 (view spoiler)[I am loving the story so far. Not to exaggerate but Tahereh Mafi is good in writing contemporary. (view spoiler)[ (hide spoiler)] (hide spoiler)]

20%: (view spoiler)[Ocean is adorable. Shirin is interesting. There are times where I really feel for her but then there are times where she makes it really hard to like her. The writing is good - better than her Shatter Me series but I think this is because it's almost autobiographical. (hide spoiler)]

Chapter 6 - 10 (view spoiler)[Shirin puts her guards up because of how badly treated her. I like Ocean genuinely asks her questions and he seems fascinated with her personality in spite she's intimidating.

Shirin is a great heroine and has a strong personality. (hide spoiler)]

Jenn wrote: "20%: [spoilers removed]"

(view spoiler)[She reminds me of a teenage Tahereh Mafi. It's nice seeing her write contemporaries. I thought it's good. REALLY GOOD. (hide spoiler)]

@Beatrice Yeah, knowing what I know of Tahereh you can see the similarities and the writing flows better because of that :)

50%: (view spoiler)[I like watching Shirin's walls slowly break down. I loved the scene where she asked her brother if he thought she was pretty and all of the boys said yes but she was scary. I think it's important that Shirin is realizing that not only do people perceive her wrong, but she also perceive's a lot of people wrong. (hide spoiler)]

77%: (view spoiler)[ Everyone at her school sucks. Also, I hate Ocean's basketball coach (hide spoiler)]

100%: (view spoiler)[ What a bittersweet ending after everything they went through. (hide spoiler)]

Chapter 11- End (view spoiler)[Tahereh Mafi should write more contemporary books. The ending was great and realistic. They're still a couple and I guess they'll have a long distance relationship. (hide spoiler)]

Up to chapter 10 (view spoiler)[ I like the writing style and really feel for Shirin. It's such a different perspective about such different experiences from my own, and I'm really enjoying it. (hide spoiler)]

Up to chapter 25 (view spoiler)[ Ocean is so sweet! I like that he owns up when he says something racially insensitive, and that he really doesn't care what other people think of him and Shirin. It's frustrating but totally understandable why she keeps pushing him away. (hide spoiler)]

Up to chapter 32 (view spoiler)[ What the coach did was so out of line! I really hope they can work all this out. Ocean's mother is also trash. (hide spoiler)]

Finished (view spoiler)[ I'm going to use that last line to justify that they end up together forever, okay? This was such a beautiful read with a sweet romance and some heavy topics. (hide spoiler)]

Beatrice wrote: "Chapter 11- End [spoilers removed]"

I'm hopeful too :)

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Date changed. Restarting August 11th 2019. Happy Reading ☺

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33%: (view spoiler)[I like this girl but I feel so bad for her.. how the hell do people treat others like this?? people disgust me (hide spoiler)]
67%: (view spoiler)[yikes.. this school. (hide spoiler)]
85%: (view spoiler)[wow.. the coach? really? I hate everyone in this school right now. also the whole talk with his mom - ouch! (hide spoiler)]
100%: (view spoiler)[this was a very cute read and I'm glad that I read it. (hide spoiler)]

I started this yesterday but didn't have time to post..

Chapter 1 (view spoiler)[ So I'm a huge Tahereh Mafi fan and I'm already loving this because I can tell the main character is probably some what of a self reflection. It makes me so sad to hear about just some of the hate she has probably received growing up in America. I'm excited to read about her saying F U to the haters and embracing her whole self. (hide spoiler)]

Chapter 6 (view spoiler)[ I'm really enjoying this. I feel like I'm getting to know Tahereh on a deep level and I love it (hide spoiler)]

Chapter 10 (view spoiler)[ That line about her being beautiful was soooo sweet :swoon: (hide spoiler)]

Chapter 24 (view spoiler)[ this is just so dang sweet I can't even deal (hide spoiler)]

Chapter 30 (view spoiler)[ annnnd now my hear is shattered (hide spoiler)]

All done! I literally couldn't put this one down. So heartbreakingly beautiful I loved it so much I want to reread it right away. I am moved.

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Date changed. Restarting January 24th 2020. Happy Reading ☺

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To Chapter 9

This is a really hard book for me to discuss because I first have to recognize that as a middle-class WASP chick, I don't KNOW what the experiences of most minority groups are like, particularly that of a Muslim teen in the aftermath of 9/11. I can imagine but there are a lot of things about Shirin's experience that I will never completely understand, just like there are many things about my multiracial children's life experience that I will never fully and completely understand as much as I want to or as much as I try. My own biases and prejudices are going to influence my perspective here and while I will try to recognize that, I apologize in advance if I am clumsy at the discussion. I've always felt, and it is certainly appropriate to repeat for this story that yes, conversations between different racial, ethnic and religious groups can be awkward, frustrating and tiresome, but if a member of the "other" is truly trying to understand, getting offended is counterproductive... there's no way to make things better if the only thing we do is shut everyone else down and make them afraid to talk or afraid to ask.

That said, I (view spoiler)[ am struggling a little bit with Shirin's attitude here. I do recognize that being constantly stared at, mocked, and having insensitive things said to and about you is enough to make anyone jaded, but she's just so angry all the time with everyone. She won't give anyone a chance even when they're trying in their own awkward white people way to become less ignorant and to get to know her. I can't entirely blame her for this because America was hell for Muslims after 9/11 and there's no way around that. I really like the way the author unfolded her story and her identity instead of feeling the need to identify all of it right up front; it felt a lot more real. (hide spoiler)] I'm enjoying the story immensely so far; it just drew me right in and the pages are flying by.

To Chapter 18

This book is adorable. It's such a great balance of cute romance and actually important stuff, and I love it. (view spoiler)[ What I love most is that so far the author is addressing all the things I mentioned in the last comment... yep, she's angry all the time and some of it's just her. Not everyone is actually out to get her and she never thought about that. No, it's not her job to educate everyone and yes she can actually have real conversations about herself and her culture when people can get inside her shell. It's really made me think about my Persian friends and how I can be more aware of myself (although my Persian coworker does not wear hijab, some of the teens that volunteer with me do). I feel like this is one of those books like All American Boys that just needs to be read by a lot of people, particularly white people because sometimes (a lot of times) we really don't get it. (hide spoiler)] Plus, it's just a great story, which at the end of the day, is the most important thing perhaps.

To Chapter 18

I'm kind of wondering (view spoiler)[ how much of this story is based on the author's own experience. I haven't researched that yet but I may. Still just really enjoying it. Shirin is a little too strong, not in an unbelievable way but in that "it's going to hurt you more than anyone else over the course of your life." I understand where it's coming from. I even pretty much buy that the captain of the basketball team fell for someone outside the mainstream high school cliques. And I thought the visit with Ocean and Shirin's parents was hilarious. (hide spoiler)]

I should add that she continues to do a very effective job at combining a cute story with conversation about some very serious issues without being preachy or didactic. Representation is important for the group being represented, but it's important for the rest of the world too.

Fin

Okay. I'm actually in tears right now. This book just catapulted itself up to the top of my favorites list.

(view spoiler)[ This line right here:

"I'd done to others exactly what I hadn't wanted them to do to me: I made sweeping statements about who I thought they were and how they lived their lives; and I made broad generalizations about what I thought they were thinking all the time."

The truth is we're ALL guilty of that, and it's a big part of the reason, I think, why we can't get along. I love that she showed this from so many angles, and I love that she can write a character that is resilient and beautiful enough to come to that conclusion when she's been hurt so many times.

I think I'm going to stop talking and just sit with this a while.
(hide spoiler)]

Chapter 2 - I didn't get a lot of chances to pick up a book this weekend because I was unusually busy. I'm going to be completely honest and say I have absolutely no idea what this book is about. I saw it was a pick for a book discussion and decided to pick it up without even reading the synopsis. (view spoiler)[ I wasn't expecting it to be set in 2002. Obviously probably because I didn't read the synopsis but I was confused for a hot second before I got that. Also, breakdancing? I wasn't expecting that to pop up... I didn't think it was that kind book but okay. Honestly not a fan of breakdancing so we shall see how this goes. Other than that, I don't have many thoughts since I am only 2 chapters in. (hide spoiler)]

UPDATE: I actually read the synopsis. (view spoiler)[Maybe breakdancing won't be the main focus of the story. I was worried there for a moment that that was going to be the main plot but maybe not? I still don't know for sure, but we shall see. I'm hoping it isn't, I'll be fine with it as a side plot but as a main plot? I'm not so sure because I really don't like breakdancing..... I may or may not be too focused on the breakdancing... can you tell? Lol. (hide spoiler)] Also, I'm writing this pretty late at night because I wanted to at least update something. Thought I'd add that in because I know it's a little ramble-y and not written well and I apologize.

The wonderful part about goodreads is that no one is grading our writing :) Sometimes you have to talk (or write) through some things before you really figure out what you think.

So this is interesting so far. Like I mentioned, I had to read this for my YA book club (I'm a teen librarian). The club is composed of teens and adults. I had one adult who was so offput by the breakdancing that she didn't finish the book; however, she does listen to her books instead of reading them. Honestly, I'd say it's a side plot but I don't think it is the main focus at all; I never had any issue with it, but I do tend to skim parts of a book that are too expository without even realizing I did it.

My teen that was there yesterday was thrown by the fact that this was so soon after 9/11; she had a lot of trouble with the book because she did not realize the setting early enough. Once she figured it out though, she said it made more sense -- (view spoiler)[ we talked a lot about whether the things that happened then would still occur in the same way today. We decided we don't think so and we (hope and) believe Shirin would have an ally somewhere and that at the very least, certain adults would be held accountable. But I'm getting ahead of myself (hide spoiler)]

Ryn wrote: "To Chapter 9

This is a really hard book for me to discuss because I first have to recognize that as a middle-class WASP chick, I don't KNOW what the experiences of most minority groups are like, p..."

(view spoiler)[I completely agree on this! I really didn't like Shirin at first, she really started to annoy me. I mean, I don't know everything she went through, I just saw the aftermath when she became super standoff-ish. (Which is another problem, I felt like I was told everything instead of shown it which REALLY bothered me!) If she would have taken the time to educate at least some of the people instead of jumping to the conclusion that they were being mean and saying "Oh wow" she probably would have gotten a lot further. Now, again, I wad told a few of the thing she went through but I wasn't really shown it, so I didn't get a good feel of what she went through, which led to me getting really annoyed with her.

Also, this is something minor but the word "wow" really started to bother me. NO ONE says "wow" THAT MUCH. At least no one that I know. I feel like I should count all the times someone said "wow" and it would be like a ridiculous amount. I don't know why it bothered my so much but it did! (hide spoiler)]

Ryn wrote: "To Chapter 18

This book is adorable. It's such a great balance of cute romance and actually important stuff, and I love it. [spoilers removed] Plus, it's just a great story, which at the end of th..."

(view spoiler)[ I get being angry all the time. No it isn't her job to educate people. My problem comes when Ocean doesn't know what the hijab is called and she automatically gets "oh wow really that offensive that you don't know what its called" which is the energy I got. Like 9/11 had recently happened, people were basically being taught to hate Persian people through the media, Ocean would have no reason to know what it was called. (just a disclaimer, I wasn't alive when 9/11 happened, I don't actually know first hand what it was like but from all the many things I've heard that's what I got that it was like). I think he was genuinely trying to learn and Shirin got all defensive and made him feel bad for being uneducated when all he was trying to do was GET educated! That part of the story just really got under my skin. Educating people isn't her job, but if they want to be educated and they are coming to you to be educated, its kinda rude to make them feel bad for being uneducated. Right? Is that just me? (hide spoiler)]

Ryn wrote: "Fin

Okay. I'm actually in tears right now. This book just catapulted itself up to the top of my favorites list.

This line right here:

"I'd done to others exactly what I hadn't wanted them to do..."

(view spoiler)[ Yes! I really liked that at the end of the book she did acknowledge that because honestly it was bothering me. I absolutely love that that was added in there!

I also agree that most of us are also guilty of that and its really a sign of strength to acknowledge it! (hide spoiler)]

Overall, I think it was a great story, I can see why I lot of people love it. For me though, I had a really hard time connecting and relating, not as much (though, unconsciously, probably a little) because I am a white female who is lucky enough not the deal with racism, but a huge part of it was that I was just told everything I wanted to be shown. I feel like it would have been a much more effective story for me if I was shown all the things, if I could see all the things happening through the eyes of Shirin instead of just being told what had happened. Ultimately, that decreased the experience of the story for me, though I do still think it is a great story and would recommend it if it was the type of story someone was looking for.

I think it's definitely a book you have to read all the way through to understand what the author is really doing.

I think it's a really hard balance to strike and the world is changing. Back at that point, systemic racism/prejudice wasn't really acknowledged as a thing nor was white privilege, so we're looking at it today from a somewhat different lens.

One of the other people in our book group was annoyed by the (view spoiler)[ constant "wow" also. It was a little overused, but most faddish slang is with teenagers in general I think (not stereotyping, but I've definitely encountered teens who latch on to the new "in" word and it becomes every third word they speak).

What you're describing has always been my frustration when dealing with a multiracial, potentially charged situation. If you happen to be white, sometimes you can't do anything right -- can't ask, can't not ask, can't whatever. I get that minorities are angry with us as an ethnic group, and they're not wrong but if conversation can't happen, nothing's going to change. So yes, she was also part of the problem, but that's why I liked the end so much. I thought Mafi did a great job of showing Shirin's own growth as a person.

It's not just you. It is a problem and I think it just comes from the over and over and over of trying to make people understand and failing or being mocked and teased so much that you can't really trust someone's seriously asking. Racism isn't easy; if it was, we could have solved it decades ago. But I think books like this and All American Boys by Jason Reynolds do a great job of giving people who don't face daily microaggression the opportunity to experience it from inside the victims' heads.

I know she told a lot at first but as the book went on, I saw a (hide spoiler)]

and yeap, hazards of commenting at work... had to post half a thought >.<

As I was saying, she did do a lot of "telling" at the beginning, I think so you could just kind of catch up to where she was now but I thought once that happened, there was a lot more "showing." (view spoiler)[ Some things might be harder to pick up on, but others, like what the coach did were pretty obvious. I'd love to hope something like that couldn't really happen, and my real hope is that today someone like Shirin would have an ally or be brave enough to rat a teacher out and expect to have something done about it... and I think it would work that way now, but back then it's unfortunately quite likely something like this could reasonably have taken place and she would not have had any recourse. (hide spoiler)] Anyway, long comment, but I'm very glad we're seeing more books like this not just so that ethnic minorities have the chance to see themselves represented and be supported, but also so that the mainstream can see and experience these stories too. Maybe then, kids like Shirin won't have to go around trying to educate us anymore :)