Colorless Tsukuru Tazaki and His Years of Pilgrimage question

I don't think Haida has any direct connection to the four friends. He's relevant, I think, because of his abandonment of Tsukuru and because of Tsukuru's interpretation of that abandonment (which speaks to his self-image and self-worth).

I think that Haida was in love with Tsukuru (just as Eri was), and that his love for Tsukuru is what drove him away. They were very close: Haida cooked frequently for Tsukuru, and spent weekends at his home. Then, Tsukuru has a "dream" that he's intimate with Haida, after which point Haida disappears. This dream could be Tsukuru's subconscious acknowledgment of Haida's feelings for him, or perhaps speaks to his own confused feelings for Haida (this friendship was, at the time, his only and thus most intimate relationship). Perhaps Haida even assaulted Tsukuru as he slept (maybe he realized Tsukuru was having a sexual dream, and ... intervened)—and then, ashamed, withdrew from school. Sleep paralysis is a real phenomenon, and it's technically possible that love-stricken Haida was really standing in Tsukuru's bedroom.

Tsukuru always assumes that he's rejected because of his own faults. He suspects that Haida discerned some sort of defect in his personality, or that Haida somehow learned about his sexual dream. It's very possible, however, that Haida's reasons for leaving had to do either with his love for Tsukuru (we learn later that Aka went through similar shame at confronting his homosexuality) or even possibly with his shame at having assaulted Tsukuru (although I'm not entirely convinced the assault actually happened). Tsukuru doesn't recognize others' romantic feelings for him even when they're overtly displayed (again, think of Eri), and would never consider that Haida actually abandoned him because he loved him.

Don't we have "Haidas" in our life, a friend that you were incredibly close to only for them all of sudden to leave and never heard of again? I have one or two from college, and I never had the urge to look them up on social media.

yeah right?? i liked Haida's part the best, especially Haida's father's story. Yes I was hoping for Haida to return before it ended too. Like it just ended..and he was just left like that and wasn't dealt with. My papa said it was like someone suddenly told Murakami that they had to publish the book tomorrow (of course a joke lol)

@Dave, I'm not sure that theory holds water because there were records of Haida making arrangements to leave college confirmed by other characters.

I viewed Haida as a stepping stone. First Tazaki had dreams of Shiro that he didn't seem to want. Then after he became close with Haida, he entered the dream as well. Finally at the end he seems to desire the dreams with Shiro in order to see her again.

So yeah I don't think the encounter with Haida was real, rather he was crossing into Tazaki's dreams because he was getting as close as the 4 friends were.

It was a mystery until the end, along with what really happened to Shiro, what happened to the mystic jazz pianist, and whether Sara really had another boyfriend and if she's choose him over Tazaki. That said, I was surprised that some of the mysteries were answered. Once I saw he hadn't questioned his friends for 16 years about their behavior, I was half-expecting that to never be answered, either. So I didn't complain too much that he didn't go on a pilgrimage to find Haida, or call Shiro's family to learn more, or that the book cut out before his important date on Wednesday. I took it to mean that some things in life are never answered.

No, he didn't do it. But was he really in the room when Tsukuru dreamed that night? Did he really do the - you know? Did Tsukuru want him to?

I am thinking Haida's "disappearance" is one of two things: either he was never really there (I'll explain in a moment) or his character is an example of how some people just randomly float in and out of our lives. These relationships can be intense but fleeting and lead to an abrupt end. That said, there is a scene of Tazaki swimming (post Haida) and thinking how the feet of the man in front reminds him of Haida. Tazaki is so much in his own head I couldn't help but think that Haida was just in Tazaki's mind, a creation of his loneliness. Murakami will play tricks on his readers as well as his characters especially when writing a dream sequence.

I think Haida really did the "job", just Tsukuru did not want to believe it.

The Haida question, and the many other hanging unresolved questions, seemed to convey a sense of Tazaki's inability to resolve the tension between his social and inner self. Mortimer Adler's 10 philosophical mistakes included one about the mistake about the human mind and maybe Murakami is exploring how it is we learn to accept that some things just can't be known personally.

I do not agree that Haida was imaginary. The section where Tsukuru goes to the university administration to ask about him just seems far too real. As Dave says above, I think it is "is an example of how some people just randomly float in and out of our lives". I also had a friend in university who just disappeared in similar circumstances. I think many people have.

I think Haida and Sara are the same person. Haida looked inside Tazaki's head when he was astral projecting the night of the erotic dream. Saw what Tazaki liked in women and found the identity of his four friends from his memory. He then killed Shiro with a neck-tie (again using an astral projetion technique, which is why there were no signs of a break-in). He then had sexual reasignment and made himself into the woman that Tazaki would be attracted to, pretended to be older than she really was as he knew that Tazaki felt more comfortable with older women, and engineered their meeting.

The extra fingers story is a metaphor for Haida's penis which he saw as surplus to his requirements, and he later had it removed to become Sara.

Haida has joined a lot other Murakami's characters who are just gone. The librarians from Kafka on the Shore, the mysterious young girl from 1Q84, and Haida.

It's kind of unfair. Why does Murakami do that? Is it so we can get our own spaces to create our own versions of what happening to them? I can't believe this novel was only released around two years ago. It feels like ages. Some parts of me say it's better to see our favorite characters killed than just disappeared like that, though some others may totally disagree with me.

I'm listening to this song, memory for all the disappeared characters.

Ed Sheeran - Photograph https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f00fg...

I think Haida was already dead. I cant avoid from thinking that the story Haida told about his father is actually himself.

Ok guys i have a theory, MASSIVE SPOILER ahead.



It sound crazy but to me it makes sense. Haida is Tsukuru. Another self of tsukuru like the real Tsukuru without all his doubts, therefore imaginary. Therefore Haidas father is Tsukurus father, this is going to be super important later on in my opionion.

Remember the crazy story Haida told Tsukuru with his father and the "death aura" that if you got it from someone death can only be avoided to find another person to take that burden from you. Ok so Haidas fahter had that in my opinion so had Tsukurus father.

That is where Shiro's story comes in. Tsukurus father killed and raped Shiro. In the end of the book it was mentioned that his father might got a mistress, that could be Shiro. Also His father has the same name, Shiro may was not lying when she said Tsukuru did this to me! His father wanted to tell him something before he died but it was too late (I guess it could be the Shiro story). So his father was "owner" of this death toker or burden at the time so he could see peoples colours as the person did who got it before him. He knew Tsukurus friends and could see their colours and went for Shiro as the weakest person of them to pass the death on. They had an affair and he wanted to pass on death, she did not want it therefore he killed her. As he could not pass it on he died himself.

I think Haida is imagined by Tsukuru as himself as they also got very similiar hobbies like the swimming and listening to the same music. Haida is a dialog with Tsukurus other self.


Sounds crazy but it makes sort of sense what do you think?


Chris