The Feminist Orchestra Bookclub discussion

Let's discuss When I Hit You by Mean Kandasamy!

You can start sharing your thoughts and feelings on the book at any point in your reading experience. If you are including specific details about the plot beyond the blurb please use this text to keep any spoilers hidden unless expressly opened by another member to read - you can let everyone know what point in the book the spoilers pertain to beforehand: <*spoiler*>This is the text that will be hidden.<*/spoiler*> (remove the asterixes*)

I've just flown through the audiobook and even though it was incredibly difficult to listen to, I thought it was so beautifully written and it's definitely a book I'd like to come back to. I'm also currently reading Machines Like Me by Ian McEwan and it feels like a STARK contrast to that in terms of womens' voices and narrative.

I can totally relate... I found the book to be a tough but beautiful read.. I similarly flew through the book in a couple of days, it was very absorbing and engaging and gave me a lot to think about and ponder upon, it was tough and beautiful, a sad read but as a reader I felt safe within the author's hands..and where she was taking me through her beautiful writing as we shared the journey together... I have now passed the book to my best friend to read.. and I look forward to sharing this book with more family and friends too... how are you finding this amazing book?

I am halfway through the book and I didn't expect we would listen the husband prate so much about communist revolution and whatnot. I find it really annoying.

The first quarter or so was really slow for me, then I got into it. It's good, sad, but important. We see a decent amount of books about domestic violence set here in the US, but the culture in India is so different, I think that makes this book even more important.
From what I can tell this is just contemporary fiction, is that right? It read like it could be a memoir or a fictionalized memoir.

I agree with you, Shannon, it really feels like a memoir. This was tough. I wasn't expecting it to be a light read but... It was amazing, though. Really looking forward to read more of her work.

I really enjoyed this book. Inhabiting the main character's mind is a powerful way to experience the abusive relationship at the core of this book. I found it bizarrely comforting to read, though that almost certainly says more about me than it does about the book! Really recommend this one.

I'm so happy that I finally picked this book up. I wanted to read it since it was nominated for some prizes. And now I can definitely see why. It was a devastating but also a powerful reading experience. And I highly recommend this book.
Of course there must be some trigger warnings for abuse, violence and trauma, but at the same time it can certainly be a book for someone with similar experiences that the main protagonist (the author?) is forced to go through, because it is a opportunity to identify with someone in a similar situation and to be understood in a way that might help and that someone unhurt is not able to deliver.

The treatment the main character endured left me feeling disgusted and sad, not merely the abuse but also her parents' and friends' responses. I did not connect with the writer's style, but her messages came across. I wonder which of my friends endure abuse. (I live in an area with a high rate of domestic violence.)

I just finished reading the book and my god! It’s stunning. Such powerful writing. Still collecting my thoughts! Will come back soon to discuss 🙈

I forgot to even do the discussion part of this book. I know I kept putting off reading it as I thought it might be triggering. Spoiler alert: it was. Even so, I felt it was worth the read as it shows that even independent feminist successful journalist women can fall prey to abuse. It also shows how much harder it can be for women from certain cultures. It was heartbreaking that her parents wanted her to stay in such a situation, but I know there are parents from many cultures that push women to stay with their abusers. It also showed how her entire network had been broken down until she had no way out... or at least very limited options. I think the hardest part to read was her having to be hurt enough that people would believe her and shelter her. The afterword felt important to me as well. So many women think it could never happen to them and society so often blames the victim. This book makes you look hard at your assumptions and any possible criticism or judgements you may have for women who are hurt by the men in their life. This was the hardest read for me so far in 2019, but it was worth it.