it's personal discussion
oof.
I just accidentally deleted my inspiration account on tumblr. I meant to delete one of the blogs, but it just deleted the entire account. I've had that account for years (since high school) and I'm really upset that I lost it. I'm hoping support can restore it, but I don't know. It just had all my favorite ship aesthetics and memories and... ugh.
Like, I'm in college now, but it's funny to read the stuff I posted when I was in high school and middle school. I was so cringey and didn't know what I was doing with my life. I used to complain so much about my mom, even though now I agree with everything she told me.
Idk, it's funny reading things that I know now will lead me in directions that really didn't fit me, like majoring in computer science and education. I don't know why I didn't just trust my gut and go with writing, even if it's risky. Who knows, though. Maybe in a few years, I'll look back at this and be like: "Writing? What was I thinking?"
more importantly, what was your cringey email address from middle school? mine was animalsluva12 ...
Oh god LOL. I don't even remember mine. I know I had a ton of usernames based off of pokemon characters tho LOL
I mean, my interest in it has been fading for a really long time, but now I feel extremely uninterested. I can't write characters anymore; I can't write and feel proud of it. I feel upset when I see other people collabing and having fun, but when people do collab with me, I just... don't want to do it? I don't know.
I've had periods where I didn't want to RP. My first year of college really stinted my writing, but I've never felt so unmotivated.
Idk. I guess maybe I'm just getting older and I'm more interested in design than I am writing. I dunno.
hi jenny <3 wanted to pop in and say that you sound like you're rlly hard on yourself! i kinda relate in that i've been fluctuating with my interest in writing, but i think you're gonna power through eventually inspo wise? like i know that i've gone from super active on gr to then missing for three years but somehow i always find my way back and writing again so maybe you just need a bit of time and space from it (esp since you're already majoring in writing!) hope ur doing okayy
maisie wrote: "hi jenny <3 wanted to pop in and say that you sound like you're rlly hard on yourself! i kinda relate in that i've been fluctuating with my interest in writing, but i think you're gonna power throu..."
Thanks Maisie. ♡ I think you're right. I feel like I do so much writing and designing during the school year that, now when it's finally summer, writing just feels like work to me. I probably do just need to hiatus. Or like do something inspiring, like read a book for the first time in years. I dunno.
Thanks for the support tho. It means a lot to me. It's nice to know you're not the only one who feels this way sometimes, you know?
always here for ya (also in love with your creative writing and wouldn't want you to lose something so special!!)finding a good book sounds so insanely fun right now college deprived me of pleasure reading, i definitely support that for you lol
dalksfjdlaksjfd <3 you're the best. I actually signed up for a creative writing course this coming fall because I don't want to lose it. So I'm hoping that might reinvigorate me too :)
ikr? I have one sitting like right next to me that I want to crack open. It's just starting to read again is the hard part xD
omggg that sounds like a dream ugh good luck i almost signed up for one last semester but i was too chicken cuz i didn't want to share my work with anybody else. i feel like gr is like a whole other platform where it's not even a question to post your stuff, but then in the real world it's sO SCARYhehe same my reading list isn't even a list it's like a novel in itself but then i get overwhelmed and i just end up rereading every one's summary and not doing anything about it oops
ahhh, you should! I know how you feel tho. I'm like lowkey scared because I haven't written anything super creative in a while. but it might be fun so :)
LOL I totally get that. GR feels so safe. Probably cuz I know like everyone and have been on here for literally years.
ikr >.< reading summaries is so me LMAO. that's basically all i do lololol
well, it's like tied for my favorite with fx's rum pum pum, but omfg. izone's violeta is gorgeous. the prechorus is so... like the way they do a dive forward is amazing, and then the hand movements for the chorus are mesmerizing. the way they reveal members is really cool too. the members don't feel like they're constantly hidden in the back. they always get revealed if they're placed behind another member. it's really great.
but my absolute favorite part is from 2:48 to 2:55. the way yuri slides across the floor and the rest of the members just barely meet her before they all go down again is MAGICAL.
i love this dance so so much.
like, i have the skills for everything - i know i do - but everyone's so picky. they're like, "must be graphic design major." but like our school has no graphic design major so LOL idk what they're expecting. i'm just kinda applying anyways because the worst they can say is no, you know?
but it's frustrating because i don't have a car and they're making it more annoying by not really being honest with their location. like a lot of them say they're located in my city, but when i actually look... no, they're not LOL. they're in the city over. like bruh just because a large city is right by you doesn't mean you're located in that city. it's obnoxious.
idk, i've applied to a few already so we'll see what happens :)
i don't think i've ever talked about this on GR, but I have these episodes where I feel like I'm in a dream and I get really hot and then all of a sudden, I can't remember anything. It's like really short term amnesia. it just happens all of a sudden. i'll be in a situation and then a memory will just pop up. and suddenly it feels like im in that dream, like nothing around me is real? and then i'll feel really faint and when it passes, i can't remember what i was doing or what i was thinking about at all.
for the next hour or so, i feel really out of it and i still have a lot of trouble remembering things. i went to the doctor and they said that i have a lot of vitamin deficiency. idk. i just wanted to log this one because i end up forgetting about them if i don't. i think i've had like 8 episodes since january.
it sucks. and honestly i wonder if it's something more concerning than just vitamin deficiency.
I had two of them on the eighth and two more the ninth. So yesterday night (the ninth), my mom took me to the ER. After a lot of tests and a night in the hospital, I've been diagnosed with Temporal Lobe Epilepsy. Which is... pretty scary, but, you know, i'm glad I got it diagnosed. The episodes are actually seizures, and I just had one now when I got back home. So I'm hoping that the medication I'm getting tomorrow morning will help.
But, yeah, I just wanted to post an update, even if it's a bleak one.
1. Learn how to do the splits
2. Become a better, more confident dancer
3. Write creatively more
4. Learn Illustrator and practice with Photoshop
5. Read one goddamn book
6. Get a technical writing job
7. Keep in touch will all my friends after graduation
8. Have a good time with said friends as often as possible
9. Save up for a house
10. Learn how to drive again
does anyone ever look at their old rp posts and wonder how tf they did it? like how did i respond to stuff in ten minutes LOL that's dedication. i remember having notifications on my phone turned on and I would just reply as soon as someone posted. crazy. now i respond like twice a day if i'm lucky.
also, yeah. i graduated college. so that's cool. officially have a bs in writing. :)
i'm gonna make my bed every morning to trick myself into being more productive :)
also me: not productive
and it's fkn hard. it's not like i'm overweight or anything, but it just... i'm so addicted to it and i feel like it's unhealthy. i think it'll also help my dental hygiene so that's my main reason for it.
but holy. this is a challenge.
this song made me really sad. "i get homesick in my hometown." growing up feels. and i couldn't make a get together with my friends in my college town, so i'm pretty nostalgic and sad today, haha.
ya'll making me wanna jump on this second aesthetic journal trend lmao
sometimes you just gotta have one for your mental breakdowns and another to make you appear sane
that is a great point.
also, @inka, i peeped your journal and, omg, ana de armas <3
idk i found this on tumblr and i just thought i'd fill it out; don't look at me. i'm that kind of bored today.
▪ slow burn or love at first sight
▪ fake dating or secret dating
▪ enemies to lovers or best friends to lovers
▪ oh no there’s only one bed or ldr with correspondence
▪ hurt/comfort or amnesia
▪ fantasy au or modern au
▪ mutual pining or domestic bliss
▪ smut or fluff
▪ canon compliant or fix-it fic (usually my hcs are canon)
▪ alternate universe or future fic (depends on the rp tho)
▪ one-shot or multi-chapter
▪ kid fic or roadtrip fic
▪ reincarnation or character deathjammy
▪ arranged marriage or accidental marriage
▪ high school romance or middle-aged romance
▪ time travel or isolated together
▪ neighbors or roommates
▪ bodyswap or genderbend (kimi no na wa)
▪ sci-fi au or magic au
▪ angst or crack
▪ apocalyptic or mundane
not me doing two rp questionnaires in a row whaaaat? also, i did this with recent rps because otherwise i sound like an old lady rambling about ships "back in my day." so my all time faves are a little different, but current-ish ones are here :)
▪ your favorite face claims:
- regan kemper & aya shalkar
▪ your least favorite face claims:
- i hardly pay attention to them, so i kinda don't care lol
▪ face claims that you are dying to use:
- greta onieogou & hande erçel
▪ face claims that you are dying to play against:
- again, no preference lmao
▪ your favorite original-verse oc (or one of your favorites):
- kya's my fave to write rn, but joon will probably take over soon.
▪ your favorite fandom oc (or one of your favorites):
- probably faust from a hunger games rp. i don't really do fandom ones.
▪ your favorite oc who isn’t yours (or one of your favorites):
- i love everyone's characters. rn, i love di's adam & aurelia, badge's lilith, maisie's ru, jammy's leah, and inka's mireille. ik listing multiples is kinda cheating, but it's my list, so.
▪ your favorite fandom character to have played:
- don't do thaaaaat ~
▪ a fandom character who you would really like to play:
- none, really, but maybe percy jackson if i had to pick
▪ a fandom character who you would like to interact with:
- bruh, nobody
▪ an rpg that meant a lot to you:
- aeonian means a lot to me, actually. im very grateful for the friendships. ♡
▪ an rpg that you’re excited about:
- false gods hehe
▪ an rpg that you’d like to create:
- omg, okay, look at my inspo pinterest board: look. i REALLY want to do a small rp about ghost hunting. like a group of friends that goes out and skips class to hunt ghosts? PLS. and half of them are like "lol this is just for the shits and giggles" and they think ghosts aren't real. but they start uncovering weird shit about the town and ghosts and oh my god it would be so cool. and i just imagine two of them sitting in the lecture hall of their psych class or something discussing the shit they saw last night and getting yelled at by the prof, and look, i'm very invested in this idea. i just don't know how to make it an actual plot. i just have tidbits.
OKAY and the vibe would be like it is when people play phasmophobia LMAO. half of them talking to the ghost like "Donna Jackson, show us a sign, you fuck" LOL. and the guy who passionately believes ghosts are real and organized the whole thing is like "guys this is serious 😡"
i think making a group/story with a lot of comedy, but a lot of really scary shit would be a m a z i n g.
but also i don't make groups. so this'll probably turn out as a book i want to write but never will.
▪ your favorite rp friendship:
- aurelia & amelie. but i'm also really excited for all the false gods friendships.
▪ your favorite rp otp:
- luke & leah rn, but nik & kya are catching up ngl
▪ your favorite rp notp:
- pfft, leah and derek idk. i don't have notps, really, cuz i ship everything.
▪ your favorite rp family relationship:
- they're not really related, but the gang from false gods. they're a family, okay? 😤
▪ your favorite rp universe/world:
- aeonian, probably. i love elysian city tho, even if the group is new. we love cyberpunk cities ~
▪ your favorite non-playable character:
- fucking cronos LMAO
▪ your first rp character:
- i made two, brielle and nate. and i killed bri after like a month lmao. nate's one of my all time faves tho.
▪ your latest rp character:
- joon bug :)
▪ a plot that you’d like to play out:
- talked about this with di, but i'd love to do an exs plot. i just love breakups and hardship.
▪ a real-world setting that you’d like to use as the setting of a plot:
- maybe seattle? or like a small rural city in the mountains of the US. i think that'd be cool.
▪ your favorite rp genre:
- sci-fi for sure. like ghost in the shell vibes. i love everything but vampires. i just don't vibe with vampires lmaooooo.
▪ a quote you’d like to use to build a character on:
- for the rp idea i was talking about up there, i really wanna make a character based on this quote: "ghosts do exist, you dumb fucking fuck." i just want a guy who's very passionate about ghosts LMAO and maybe he saw one as a kid and he's convinced he's not crazy or idk. and dude has a ghost journal or something LOL.
▪ a song you’d like to use to build a character on:
- abracadabra by yooa. idk, a chill, lowkey sexy witch in an academy setting. with purple as her color. yes. i'm really feeling the spooky season with characters and plots, apparently.
and then i don't really want to make a character from it, but this cover of "stop this train" has been providing a lot of inspo for my guy characters recently. like all of them and where their character arc will go. especially joon. cuz i think at the end of everything, he's not gonna know what to do with himself. and he'll have to realize it's okay to just exist and be happy again.
▪ a song you’d like to use to build an rp relationship on:
- either supercuts or bad boy. supercuts i could see a rp about a guy and a girl and the guy doesn't think he's good enough because her parents don't like him or something.and it's during christmas season uwu. and then bad boy because i just want breakups LOL
😂😂😂😂 ❤️❤️ This is gold lmao 😂 do more
Also also- I love the ghost group idea 😈😉
I LOVEEEE THE GHOST IDEA BAHAHAHA YOU SHOUKD DO IT ONE DAY
also so much love for you hehehe ❤️
im ngl, i didn't think anyone would actually read this hahahahha
but lmao, i love ya'll.im glad you think im funny and not a weirdo hehehehe<3 and if i ever make a group, that'll be the plot. and YES buzzfeed unsolved would 100% be the vibe.first thing i said when i played phasmophobia for real
yo, how do people do this long hair thing???
there's hair everywhere i swear to god i am shedding like a dog constantly is this normal
I'm trying to get better at the game I play (league of legends) because I have some fundamental problems with my playstyle. I only play mages so I have a very passive, stand super far back and hit from afar style, and it's causing me a lot of problems. and i'm literally researching how to fix it and trying every day and it's not working and alsdkfjalskdfj. i wish i could just pick up things easily. i know once i get it, i'll be really consistent and understand it well, because that's how i am with everything i learn. but until then, i'm just... fucking struggling lol.
and also, i'm getting kinda annoyed because my friends like... okay, i'm a super upfront person. if i have a question, i'm gonna ask the fkn question, because, otherwise, i know i'm not gonna understand it. so i'm asking all these questions to my bf because he's god tier at the game, and like... idk i got the vibe my friends were kinda judging me because of the things i didn't know.
but it's like, man, fuck ya'll. one of them got boosted and the others are lower rank than me and probably just too scared to ask. so there. i solved my own fkn problem asdfkjasldk;fjslakdfj.
also, if anyone reads this, i love my friends, i just think they're assholes. and i mean i am too, so. (view spoiler)
we love having a pinterest board for a character that doesn't exist in a group/story that doesn't exist. it be like that sometimes.
this is like the one time in my life that i'm actually tempted to just write a story lol
£|*{*~!!\€\€\€~€~€\¥hejdigisiwo JENNY 😍😍✨✨
petition for jennalyn to write a story with lucas;)
i'll only sign the petition if danny devito x francisco lachowski will be the secondary couple in the story
ANYWAYS, ya'll heard love scenario by ikon? it's a great song.
