Suicide, a no go discussion

Hey there, if you need to vent about anything in general this is the place! Just getting all that stuff out can be really helpful, even if you aren't really looking for feedback. Please keep in mind the rules of the group and minimize the profanity.

I like to think I'm there for others as often as I possibly can, but it really sucks when I need someone and no one is there for me... I hope this will be different...
I'm ready to just end it all.... Life is crap... AND it has been for the last... Well... Forever..... I'm ready to just be done... I know I shouldnt... And I know I shouldn't be having these thoughts, but it's kind of hard to have hope for the future when you have zero dating experience and you're failing all of your classes. On top of that, your parent and siblings seem to hate you...
I need help.... I'm not seeing the light at the end of the tunnel....

❅ madison ❅ wrote: "I like to think I'm there for others as often as I possibly can, but it really sucks when I need someone and no one is there for me... I hope this will be different...
I'm ready to just end it all...."

Hey there, i'm more than willing to listen to you :) Breaking things down always helps me see the silver lining sometime, if you're willing i'll prompt! Can we start with the first thing you mentioned? You vision a future that involves a significant other. I have no idea how old you are (not that you need to say either) and i'm sure you've heard this before, but you are young. There is so much out there for you, and if you are in high school or college who says you have to have to be dating? Sure society says you should be that it's the "acceptable" thing to be doing, but I say who cares. If you are happy on your own (I personally like my own company, relationships are a little something different but an average one is going to require the time I don't have right now) then why not be single? That door will always be open for you anyways and even if all you did was take a year off from dating that is a ton of time to get things figured out for yourself.

I just feel terrible. I feel like a complete idiot. Nobody understands me. Nobody gets me. I wanted to cut yesterday-to start cutting again, but I didn't! I'm proud of that. But I feel like I'm the stupidest person on the face of planet earth. Like, I should be smart. My older sisters are flipping geniuses. But not me. I'm horrible. I won't ever get to go to a good college. I won't get a good job. I'm dumb. I should just die. I don't care what people think. Okay, yes I do. I'm not going to actually kill myself though. I don't think I ever could.
All my friends are so happy. They aren't alone. They feel loved. I don't. I'm alone. Lonely. Not just because I don't have a boyfriend-they don't either. They just feel... I don't know. Welcomed? Accepted? I don't. I mean, yeah, I'd love a boyfriend. I really would. But no guy ever likes me. Unless they're a pervert. I'm ugly. Stupid. Fat. I hate myself. I can't help it. I just don't know what to do anymore.

Just wanted you to know Julia I was going through something similar not too long ago, I was diagnosed with depression and was put on some meds for it, the change was like night and day. I have been through it all, my sister was actually put into a mental health center for a while, anyways I just wanted to let you know if you want to talk don't hesitate to message me!

Just wanted you to know Julia I was going through something similar not too long ago, I was diagnosed with depression and was put on some meds for it, the change was like night and day. I have been through it all, my sister was actually put into a mental health center for a while, anyways I just wanted to let you know if you want to talk don't hesitate to message me!

Julia wrote: "I just feel terrible. I feel like a complete idiot. Nobody understands me. Nobody gets me. I wanted to cut yesterday-to start cutting again, but I didn't! I'm proud of that. But I feel like I'm the..."

You sound like a really strong person, it's good that you haven't given into the impulse/urge to cut as that will start a cycle that is hard to stop. As for everything else, don't be so hard on yourself. I'll listen if you want to message me.

Now one last thing here, you can't hold yourself to other people's standards. I mean look, you say you aren't pretty, but what is pretty? To narrow this down to a basic level: society has determined pretty to be the highly airbrushed women on the cover of Victoria Secret magazine or Runway. Those women tend to be very underweight and unfit (which believe it or not is unhealthier for you than being a little heavier than average and unfit) and then have been photo shopped to "perfection". Do you want to be that? Sure it would get you a boyfriend and you'd be accepted into the popular group, but really think on that for me.

I don't think anyone should be judged for the way they look, that "fat-shaming" and "skinny-shaming" are equally wrong and our society is really rather screwed up since we promote looks over well being. With that said, think about how you look at yourself. Who are you holding yourself to? Are you holding yourself to those models or to the real people out there? The word fat started out as a medical term, and it didn't really mean anything close to the negativity it has morphed into....so are you labeling yourself with a negativity because you feel it's what you deserve because you aren't "thin" and "pretty"?

It's a lot to think about, but you are you. You are in control of you. You can let yourself be labeled and crammed into a box by the world or you can be free.

I've noticed in another post you said you were depressed, and that most likely has a lot to do with how you feel right now. All I can say is you have to keep your head up and there is no shame in saying you need help.

So. there's a concert next week and I have the money to go, but my parents won't let me unless I have friends. this is one of my favorite bands and my dad was trying to figure out why I was so emotional when I was told no, "because they would come again". This is one of those bands that I listen to a lot.

I normally don't give a damn, but going to a live show actually makes me give a damn, you know why? It's the only time where I can truly loose myself in the moment. Nothing quite does it like a concert.
So not seeing my favorite band, kinda crushes me into a million peices.

did you end up going? what band is it?
maybe next time tell them you're meeting a friend at the venue, depending on how protective and paranoid your parents are this may work!
I totally understand the need to go, since I became depressed my music taste got a whole makeover, and I searched for music that I truly connected with. one of the bands who help me a lot is twenty one pilots and I recently went to one of their gigs. it was the best night of my life.

I hope you were able to go! xx

did you end up going? what band is it?
maybe next time tell them you're meeting a friend at the venue, depending on how protective and paranoid your parents are this may work!
I totally understand the need to go, since I became depressed my music taste got a whole makeover, and I searched for music that I truly connected with. one of the bands who help me a lot is twenty one pilots and I recently went to one of their gigs. it was the best night of my life.

I hope you were able to go! xx

urghhg sorry for that posting twice! >.<

urghhg sorry for that posting twice! >.<

it was atl and tonight alive
I didn't go

So I've been delivering papers for about 5 years now and every month I have to go door to door to every house on my route and ask for money for the paper, even though it's mostly people I know and they're all on my street I hate doing it and I think it's because I might have social anxiety. My parents are no help. They think I'm just being an anti social teenager so every month in forced to go door to door and I hate it. My hands shake and I feel like I want to throw up and cry. It's the worst.

I wish I was a better helper, I'm trash when it comes to helping people

I'm just so depressed.......I am falling apart. Life sucks. I'm still looking for what I have to live for.