Baker Street Irregulars discussion

Authors, got something Sherlockian, Victorian or something that may be of interest to this group? Feel free to promote yourself in the Author Promotion folder by creating new "heads up" threads.

Don't be shy!

Check out "The Vatican Cameos: A Sherlock Holmes Adventure." It's a very different type of pastiche that I think you might enjoy.

I've made a start on a new Holmes tale.

Let me know what you think!

No Rest for the Wicked
A Sherlock Holmes Story

I had almost completed my rounds and was looking forward to a meal and some well-deserved rest. I was covering for my colleague, Dr. Menken, who had come down with a bug and, quite sensibly, was loath to spread it around the nursing home. The smell of eggs and bacon came wafting from the breakfast buffet set out for the residents and made my stomach grumble in anticipation. I sidled near the buffet table to see what else was on offer. The room was already quite full. Mealtimes at Gravenhurst were always highly anticipated.

A dignified looking man, perhaps in his 80’s, and a young lady possessively clutching at his elbow, were peering through the glass barrier that protected the food from potential coughs and sneezes. A new innovation, with which the management of the facility took great pride and featured in their literature to prospective ‘guests.’

“Look at the buffet, Grandpapa!”

“What’s that you say?” the gentleman said somewhat distractedly as he fumbled with the inside breast pocket of a very tasteful jacket that seemed to belong to another era.

“I said, doesn’t the buffet look wonderful?”

“Yes” he says, “It’s a marvel.”

I could tell he did not find it at all marvelous. I knew that he was touring our facility begrudgingly at the behest of his granddaughter, who looked up at him scoldingly but protectively. The facility administrator, Ms. Green, standing with brochure in hand and a gleaming smile frozen on her face, patiently bore the implied criticism with practiced stoicism.

I suddenly realized that the gentleman’s gaze had turned on me, and I was taken aback by how penetrating that gaze proved to be.

“Double shift almost over then” he said matter of factly.

“Beg pardon?” I let out.

“You need some sustenance as well as some rest, I should imagine.”

“Well, that’s quite right, sir. How on Earth did you know that?”

“Elementary, my dear Watson.” He exclaimed as he raised his cane to tap my ID which hung about my neck by a lanyard. “We were scheduled to speak with a Dr. Menken today, and you are not he. The bags under your eyes proclaim you as his relief. The fact that you look so longingly at this fare,” and here he waved his cane somewhat derisively toward the buffet, “means you must be very hungry indeed.”

“Grandfather!” the young lady berated him with a whisper, a blush rising from her neck to her cheeks.

Ms. Green’s smile widened at this barb and was, to her credit, ready with a response, “Our buffet is quite popular, Mr. Holmes, but our kitchen can prepare any dish at any time. Indeed, many guests have food allergies that require their meals to be made to order.”

Her reassurances hadn’t seemed to penetrate however, and his gaze had not left me.

Suddenly, it dawned on me. I had seen the name ‘Holmes’ on the visitor list, but hadn’t made the connection until I’d heard Ms. Green utter it. “Why, you are Sherlock Holmes, the famous London detective!”

“Consultant,” he corrected. “I had some notoriety at one time, but that is a bygone era.”

“You are too modest, Grandpapa!” His granddaughter chimed in.

“Indeed,” I agreed. “Your exploits are legendary, Sir. It is an honour to make your acquaintance.” I extended my hand and was impressed with the strength and conviction with which he clasped it.

“Thank you, my dear Doctor. The honour is mine. I extend my gratitude for your service in Her Majesty’s Armed forces. I’m afraid, however, that your meal will have to wait.”

Not sure how he had deduced that I had been in the Army, I said, “Why do you say I can’t have some eggs?”

“He’s right, Dr. Watson,” whispered Ms. Green who had circled to my side to speak in confidence and with constrained urgency, “Breakfast will have to wait. Didn’t you hear the announcement? We have a Code 4 in room 221. Mr. Beech.”

I had been so fully engaged in my encounter with this singular character that I hadn’t heard the announcement, or noticed the contained flurry of activity it had triggered amongst the staff. A Code 4 was a non-responsive patient.

“Please excuse me.” I offered and quickly left the dining room to see if Mr. Beech had finally succumbed, or if it were still within my power to keep him alive a little longer.

—

When I reached the room, a nurse stood transfixed before the tragic figure that was, quite clearly, the late Mr. Beech. The room was hot and an attendant had moved to the window to open it and let in some fresh air. Beech was seated in a chair, still in his pajamas. His eyes were open, but the light had gone out. Having served in the Army Medical Corp, I had seen my share of death. There was no doubt that the long suffering Mr. Beech had expired. The only questions were; What had done him in? and When had he left us?

Judging from the advanced stage of rigor mortis, I estimated he had passed during the night, shortly after he had gone to bed. He had last been seen at lights out, 10 pm, which was dutifully noted the chart kept on a clipboard on the wall outside in the hall next to the door to his room. When he had not emerged for breakfast, the attendant had entered the room and discovered him.

The expression on his face bore a resigned anguish. A drinking glass lay on the carpet at his feet and a stain of water along with a small white pill, which I knew to be nitroglycerine, declared that Mr. Beech had most likely arose from bed, suffering from angina. He had secured a glass of water to wash down the pill and had sat to take it. But before he could pop it in his mouth the long overdue heart attack had taken him once and for all.

I checked for vitals as a matter of form, and then looked at my watch, took my pen from my pocket, preparing to make my final remarks in Mr. Beech’s chart “I declare Mr. Beech Deceased. The time is 8;14. Natural Causes. Heart Failure.”

“One moment, Doctor!” A voice declared from behind me. I turned to see the imposing figure of Sherlock Holmes filling the doorway. “I think you will find the cause of death entirely unnatural.”

“What do you mean?” I said incredulously.

“Murder, my dear Watson! This poor man did not die of a heart attack. Someone has hastened his demise.”

Everyone in the room froze in astonishment and then turned to look upon the strained countenance of poor Mr. Beech. Alas, he could shed no further light on the matter.

“Ms. Green!” said Holmes who now seemed many years younger, “I believe I shall take up residence here at Gravenhurst, after all. If only for a trial period. The game is afoot, Watson! With any luck, we shall get to the truth before I follow the unfortunate Mr. Beech to the grave.”

Just a few questions:

1. Why is Watson not "the" Watson (or a rellie perhaps) ?
2. Why have you married SH off ?
3. What fool would put him in a rest home ?
4. Is this set around 1930's ?

Otherwise, quite fun.

A couple things - I don't know when the story is set, but you might want to look up when the phrase "come down with a bug" originated - it might be more modern. Also, using "Ms" for a woman's title - some old dictionaries said it was occasionally used as far back as the 1600s, but the common use didn't really start until the 1970s, 1980s.

Is this going to be a short story or a novel?

Coming down with a bug is an old term, as I understand it there was a propensity to call novel or new things to be described as what they looked like therefore if you had no idea what it was then is was described as what it resembled, it came from the use of the microscope. Most living things do have insectoid forms, or seem to when viewed under a microscope, what would you call something when looking at it from that perspective ? It's where a virus type of bug comes from, same situation - look up Edison's use of finding "a bug in the works".

Ms too is an old term, many women felt that Mrs and Miss were ways of stating a woman's marital status whereas men were Mr in adulthood. Ms was often used as far back as the 17th century, predominantly in Scotland - other places too.

I don't know about coming down with a bug - I am re-reading Richard Marsh's "The Beetle", so the phrase does conjure up a pretty intimidating image - but "Ms" while seen occasionally in past centuries, was popularized as the address for a woman that would not designate her marital status in the 1970s, primarily through the efforts of feminists, Gloria Steinem in particular, who made that the title of her magazine.
I think it's not a matter of what anyone used at the time - unless it's clearly anachronistic - but what Doyle used. If Holmes and Watson addressed and referred to women as Miss or Mrs, then I think a pastiche should, too - because the point of a pastiche is not just to devise a Sherlock Holmes story but to write it in the style of Conan Doyle.

I am a 69 year old who likes my Sherlock Holmes to be as per the Canon i.e. a bachelor, not secretly in love with Irene Adler, always the fastidious, erasable, clever, stoic hero with a wicked sense of humour - why change him when he's already perfect ?

If anybody who is writing a pastiche needs to see how it's done really well then they can't do better than read Lyndsey Faye, Michael Hardwick, Val Andrews, Magdalena Melachior, Davis Stuart Davies, etc as they follow the Canon.

Alternatively if you want to know how not to write it then there are far too many who are published that ignore the Canon and write drivel such as Pennie Mae Cartawick, Ted Riccardi, Mercedes Lackey, Laurie R King, Tim Major, etc.

I have listed a few of my favorite pastiche writers elsewhere - they include Hugh Ashton, David Stuart Davies, Arthur Hall, David Marcum Tracy Revels, Jane Rubino,Geri Schear, Denis O Smith. I have found Val Andrews hit or miss - I like the stories but not sure they always sound like Conan Doyle. There are a few others I liked, like Ian Charnock, but haven't read a lot of their stories.

Barbara wrote: "I have listed a few of my favorite pastiche writers elsewhere - they include Hugh Ashton, David Stuart Davies, Arthur Hall, David Marcum Tracy Revels, Jane Rubino,Geri Schear, Denis O Smith. I have..."
Yes, I agree regarding Val Andrews, and I would add Nicholas Meyer into that category as I loved Peculiar Protocols but hated The Canary Trainer and Return of the Pharaoh. I regard many others in the same category, but then nobody's work will please everybody all the time, will it ? Well, aside from Sir A C Doyle that is, even if he did come to feel over shadowed by his success with his greatest creation, Sherlock Holmes - be careful what you wish for, you might get it.

I have yet to come across anything by most of the authors you have mentioned, but if I have read a review and it's in anyway supernatural I normally avoid it - unless they are available from my library that is. At my age (69) I regret having wasted a great deal of money buying pastiches that are not worth the paper they are printed on so I have become very persnickety regarding my literary addiction to SH. I have just obtained second hand copies of titles by a few authors that are new to me such as Denis O Smith (short stories) which I am yet to read - watch this space !

One thing I liked about the MX anthologies is that the "rule" is they have to be set in the Sherlock Holmes frame - no supernatural, no time travel, no exotic locations and he doesn't get married off.
They did do a couple in a "Consider The Impossible..." category where the tale had to start out like there was a supernatural or "monstrous" element (sort of like Sussex Vampire started out with Re: Vampires) but there had to be a practical, "earthly" resolution.

Good to know that the supernatural element, time travel, marriage, etc is used to curtail superfluous SH tales in the MX anthologies.

I have read the Denis O Smith I mentioned above, another author who is inclined to pad out the story with verbal diarrhea, the dialogue is important but it can ruin the flow of the tale so easily.

As SH is want to point out to Watson, “You have a grand gift for silence, Watson. It makes you quite invaluable as a companion.” ..................and it also adds to the flow of the tale.

Yes, correct about the MX Publishing anthologies. There were two, "Consider the Impossible" and "Whatever Remains". I've got a story in each - in The Return of the Noble Bachelor, St.Simon appeals to Holmes when his mother claims to see the ghost of his deceased father. In the Case of the Disappearing Deity, a large sculpture of the god Loki vanishes from a sealed railway compartment.
The publisher and editor were very clear that the stories had to remain in the proper era, and have real, rather than supernatural, explanations.

J. wrote: "Yes, correct about the MX Publishing anthologies. There were two, "Consider the Impossible" and "Whatever Remains". I've got a story in each - in The Return of the Noble Bachelor, St.Simon appeals ..."
Why can I not buy a copy of Knight Errant: The Singular Adventures of Sherlock Holmes in NZ ? Ditto the MX publishing titles you have mentioned above ? I have just managed to obtain a copy of Hidden Fires - which I loved and have written a review of, therefore I would like to read more.

I absolutely loved Hidden Fires - one of those books that isn't just among my favorite Holmes mysteries, but one of my favorite mysteries.
Doesn't Amazon ship to NZ - I think the MX books are all on Amazon. I don't know about Knight Errant, I know it was published some time ago. But I didn't like the "themed" books I read from MX, the "whatever remains" and also the Christmas anthologies.

Barbara wrote: "I absolutely loved Hidden Fires - one of those books that isn't just among my favorite Holmes mysteries, but one of my favorite mysteries.
Doesn't Amazon ship to NZ - I think the MX books are all ..."
Re Amazon books and postage to NZ. It seems to be up to the seller, and I have recently found that many will not post to NZ. When you add an item to the shopping basket it shows red printed information which states that whatever is selected cannot be posted to my address - 4 incidents in one week !

Maybe direct from the publishers web site - but they are in the UK and the cost of shipping might be prohibitive. Only other option might be kindle if they're on the platform - I read physical copies so I don't know.

Barbara wrote: "Maybe direct from the publishers web site - but they are in the UK and the cost of shipping might be prohibitive. Only other option might be kindle if they're on the platform - I read physical copi..."
I too prefer 'real books', I have looked at the UK MX website (which has no facilities in NZ$) as for the cost of shipping it would be similar to AU$ prices therefore I am stuck.