Queerspace: An LGBTQ+ Media Watch {and Support Group} discussion

Put what aspect of yourself you are questioning and what your thoughts are. Anyone responding please be mindful of the fact that not everyone just clicks with something right away. Don't use definitive phrases like "you are". Instead use phrases like "you might be" or "this label/idea seems to fit".

I’m so confused! I’ve liked girls before and am currently dating a non-binary person. But I don’t know if I’m pan, bi, or just gay. I’ve been so pressured into liking boys that I don’t know when my feelings for them are real or just me trying to convince myself that I’m straight. A part of me wants to believe that I’m pan because it lowers my chances of becoming the next “gay joke” at my school (I don’t know how other people would find out but you never know). But another part of me wonders if my feelings towards guys can sometimes be real. It may just be my need to please everyone around me that’s still holding on to the chance that I might still like boys, but I don’t know.
(Sorry if there are any grammar or spelling mistakes. For some reason my spelling and grammar becomes worse when I’m typing).

From what I can tell pan would fit as a label best. There are also people who go by queer and just like who they like.
As for liking guys, what I did when I was trying to figure out if I liked guys is I tried imagining a relationship with a guy. Not just looking at them and seeing if you think they're attractive, but imagining an actual relationship with a guy. This isn't a definitive method and it might not work for everyone, but it worked for me.
For what it's worth I've had a slightly similar experience before, and I was just as confused as you. I ended up just trying not to think about it too much but I understand that that doesn't work for everyone.
I hope the input helps even a little bit.

I’m kinda questioning my gender...? I’m generally feminine, but lately I’ve been feeling oddly uncomfortable with the fact that I’m female. This feeling only comes around every couple of days but as it continues, it gets more intense. I’m not sure if I’m nonbinary or genderfluid, but it also feels a bit wrong to be thinking this way. I endlessly support the LGBTQ+ community, but when it comes to myself, I don’t like it. I’m pretty flamboyant about my sexuality (I’m pan) but gender is a whole new territory.

I also feel that I am almost copying my friends? A few of them recently admitted to being genderqueer, and I feel as though it might be peer pressure?

Sorry if that last part doesn’t make sense.

I completely understand actually! I'm agender, but I questioned my gender for a while before settling with this. I had almost all of the thoughts you're having right now.
If you're looking for a label, I'd say genderfluid seems to fit, but it's your gender so I don't really have a say. If you want to think about it, try thinking about all the different genders you know of and think about in that context. How does it feel? If you have body dysphoria, imagine the body you want? Does it change from day to day?
Of course, these are all tactics I used, and your experience could be completely different from mine.
I don't know much about internalized feelings, and I'm grateful to never have experienced them, but if anyone else has feel free to give (supportive) input.
I don't think you're copying your friends. I doubt you could come up with a strong feeling through peer pressure. if you're worried about being perceived as such, however, you can wait on revealing your feelings until you've figured things out with yourself. this will not only out time between their coming out and yours (if yours happens) but it will also give you time to figure yourself out a bit more.
I hope any of my advice was good, and if you have any more questions let me know.

Finnock wrote: "I feel like I'm 'too old' to question my gender and still not have any answers to this despite having the recurring thoughts since my early 20's but haven't had the language to really understand un..."

I know it feels like you may be too old, but you're never too old to question your gender. Personally, I feel like we as a whole are just now coming into accepting others for their gender and sexuality, so I can't even imagine what it was like a while back. But anyways, my point was one of my mom's friend discovered they were trans while they were in their thirties. It's completely okay. And that friend? I was around 6 at the time, and my mom just calmly explained what was happening and we started calling him Alex. You don't have to be any age.

I get that it's really frustrating and stupid that people hate the changing of labels. But you are allowed to be what you want. I know that it's easier said than done, but please, just ignore those haters. They don't matter as much, as compared to the people who will be there to support you. Also, with the exploring your gender bit. I know that you feel pressured to know, but that pressure is going to make things work. Try and take a breath and forget the pressure and really take time to figure it out. We're always here to support you in your endeavors, and I'm sure there are many different online groups as well. For the question, I believe you shouldn't have to stick to male or female. You could look into the options of being nonbinary or agendered.

It's completely okay, though, to want this change. You're coming into yourself, and that's really cool.

Sorry if the response was somewhat scattered, I'm a somewhat scattered person.

Finnock wrote: "I feel like I'm 'too old' to question my gender and still not have any answers to this despite having the recurring thoughts since my early 20's but haven't had the language to really understand un..."

Anything I was going to say Ella already covered, but I'll second it as further proof.