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Journals : M-P > midnight thoughts

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message 1: by ash (new)

ash (youlookashy) first entry - i'm such a perfectionist that if this graph isn't perfect on my review i legit erase the whole thing and start again
like i have to take a test before 11:59 with a 90 min timer
this is not iT chief calledddd


message 2: by ash (new)

ash (youlookashy) thinkin bout you, frank ocean <33


message 3: by ash (new)

ash (youlookashy) << teachers that make their students do self-care rn bc they understand that time is a concept


message 4: by ash (new)

ash (youlookashy) unpopular opinion : round one
cardi b and nicki minaj should both be liked because supporting black women is supporting black women
so i listen to both
ik, on twitter i'd be thrown to the wolves


message 5: by ash (new)

ash (youlookashy) imagine sitting down and thinking its a good idea to make precalc a requirement <33 i love this terrible system with my whole heartt


message 6: by ash (new)

ash (youlookashy) message to past me : if you are praying while doing the hw, drop out of the class asap
its just not worth it


message 7: by ash (new)

ash (youlookashy) doing the work << copying the review key and regretting it as soon as you read the first question on the test :))


message 8: by ash (new)

ash (youlookashy) finished the test and i have to say
i am gOING to cry if i don't get an a
like i wish i was cappin but...
i really am ready to fall apart <33


message 9: by ash (new)

ash (youlookashy) i miss her so much even tho its been three mins tops since i sent my back text


message 10: by ash (new)

ash (youlookashy) ack i'm acting like we've known each other since 5 y/o's but
i really wanna telepathically tell her that i finished precalc

i also wanna just telepathically talk to her period


message 11: by ash (new)

ash (youlookashy) i swearr if these dogs in the neighborhood don't stop barking at nothinG i'm gonna bark back i swearrr


message 12: by ash (new)

ash (youlookashy) i’m so impatient but mixed with anxiety i’m worried for her. i pray she is safe, and nothing bad has happened.


message 13: by ash (new)

ash (youlookashy) so she's safe
not that anyone is reading this lol but
yay :)


message 14: by ash (new)

ash (youlookashy) people really just walking outside rn with no masks in large groups
i'm so ready to snitch, but idk to who or how
plus... i have no idea who these people are
i can only describe them as stupid
that won't help either :/


message 15: by ash (new)

ash (youlookashy) when weekends no longer are your favorite days of the week :((


message 16: by ash (new)

ash (youlookashy) lightning mcqueen by yung nugget slaps far too harddDDD its not legally allowed to be this good and this stupid manNN


message 17: by ash (new)

ash (youlookashy) i feel like i
am pressuring her
and ig its just because every second of every day is spent thinking about her at this point
i just... ugh i'm so unused to being cared about that i forget schedules never perfectly adhere...
i just.. i wanna talk to her all the time but she has a life, and so do i


message 18: by ash (new)

ash (youlookashy) ig when you haven't had a phone since eighth grade... and you are a junior... you forget how to communicate with ppl unless its emailing them..
i don't even remember how to type quickly on a phone anymore


message 19: by ash (new)

ash (youlookashy) logging off, because i have this habit of constantly checking for what i was already told wouldn't show :))
gotta love... how i just headived into this with grand expectations that are unrealistic, like being here 24/7 so imma write about that in my paper journal and then make a long apology for her <33


message 20: by ash (new)

ash (youlookashy) when you read something so cute about yourself that mirrors exactly what you've been thinking about when it comes to relationships >>>


message 21: by ash (new)

ash (youlookashy) what i want her to call me :
my love
baby
mi amor (spanish two gangg)


message 22: by ash (new)

ash (youlookashy) the way that i wish i could freely talk to her, but rn i can barely hit her up here :(((
but if we could vc, it'd last for hours i promise
prolly through discord, skype, or ft (that'd take some serious begging and chores and good grades tho)
and to get off of punishment :((( ugh perfect girl, bad time
hgerjghaku lifehgkrg ew (i keyboard smashed an ew the talent)


message 23: by ash (new)

ash (youlookashy) "i think i'm falling in love/ this time i think its for real"
- tyler the creator


message 24: by ash (new)

ash (youlookashy) when she makes you feel special and makes a playlist with songs you get to jam to bc you know and love em but never got to put them all in one place >>>


message 25: by ash (new)

ash (youlookashy) i seriously seriously seriously hate that my heart is so STUPID why can't i recover <33


message 26: by ash (new)

ash (youlookashy) gotta love self sabotage


message 27: by ash (new)

ash (youlookashy) lets play a game
does my anxiety make me think everything is about me, my insecurity, or some budding narcissism??? i don't think self hatred can be an environment for narcissism to flourish


message 28: by ash (new)

ash (youlookashy) i love being stupid <33 its such an aesthetic


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