⚡ THE RANT ⚡ discussion
Sara's What the heck and why
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The Quest Seekers: A New Begining
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Lissen Sara you have amazing qualities as a writer. Chief among these is your energy. Its great! But, don't be dismayed at having to 'change' anything. This is what writers do. All the time.
Constant, constant, re-writes. [Of course if you just 'blog' your writing, you don't have to re-write for anyone. But you also won't get any money. nyock nyock nyock]
Next: All I saw was a snippet of your work, I don't know anything about any prologue or book.
In general: never explain anything, good writing needs no explanation. When you're explaining you are not entertaining, explanations sound exactly like lecturing. Naturally, no one wants to be lectured to. We'd rather be entertained. But entertaining writing is one of the hardest things to do. But...you have energy. You're off to a fine start. You have more than most writers start off with. Energy! Hurrah
Layered hair: the problem with stating this is...well, there's about a dozen reasons why its no good to describe this to the reader. Basically it sounds like an advertisement in a fashion magazine. Never describe anything in a story which doesn't move the story forward. Hair just lays there on a person's head. It doesn't do anything.
The red sphere isn't interacting with Shane's hair, so why mention it? See what I mean? Modern writing is only good when you stick to just what needs to be told...to get to the next stage in the story. Unless Shane's hair suddenly becomes alive and demands alimony payments..don't draw our attention to it!
Sara wrote: "Honestly I've heard people complain about other people's writing because they didn't detail things enough........."I understand. But don't let yourself become confused by what you hear from your readers. Remember that random people on the internet--those who run their eyes over your text--are not always qualified. They may spout off any ole remark or opinion or reaction which strikes them. They're not analyzing your writing, they are just commenting on whatever they happened to feel when they were looking over your stuff.
Me: I'm a trained professional, when I give you writing advice its informed observation coming from someone with a background in writing. Not only do I write myself, I'm someone who studies narrative structure on a regular basis.
Sara wrote: "I was going to post the first chapter of this, but should I post a re-write of he prologue first? Oh and after thinking about the red sphere thing for awhile, I got to thinking that maybe using the word 'orb' to describe it would be better? What do you think? ..."
I'm wondering whether you should pursue this story at all. The piece I saw earlier in the year from you--some snippet where you wrote in first-person about things-in-your-head as you were gazing down a rainy street? I forget what it was exactly. But I'd sure like to see more of that kind of writing than anything about red orbs. The writing which had 'your own voice' was wonderful, but the ideas underpinning this other piece (Shane, thunderstorms) frankly hold no interest for me. Its the same kind of storytelling everybody on the internet is doing lately. You'd be better off dropping it in favor of your other projects.
Just being honest with you.
Not this idea though. Stick with autobiographical pieces!
1) 'Shane'? NO
2)Lightning strikes the ground nearby but he doesn't DIE? No
3) His hoodie? NO
4) His layered hair? NO
5) His t shirt? His tan jacket? NO
6) His Quest? No. No one named 'Shane' ever thinks of themselves as having a quest for anything except hot morning latte or ramen.
7) Halt point! 'Gleaming red sphere'. Immediate and abrupt halt. What is a red sphere? Made by whom?
You can't introduce a reader to something for which they have no familiarity. No reader has ever seen a gleaming red sphere, so writing about it creates immediate sock-on-the-head effect.
Ouch ouch ouch ouch