Write, Wrote, Written discussion

Enter at you're own risk!

Here I will be posting random stuff, anything that can get a reaction. So, there will be an overload of weirdness since I'm putting my own thoughts, stories, etc. So....if you become like me, don't blame it on me. Beware, you have reached the point of no return!!!!!!!!!!

#1-Death By Poodle

So.....here's my first chapter. This is a story that happened to me, and it's a 100% true.

One day, my family and I were walking down the sidewalk. Now, I have no idea why we were walking, probably for some fresh air, but that's beside the point. So we passes this house with a tiny fence. Literally, I could step over the fence. Anyway, as we walked by the house, two poodles came running from the inside. They were shorter than the fence. Of course, they had startled me. My dad was a whole 'nother story. He ran as fast as he could away from the poodles. He was also shouting at the top of his lungs.

So imagine: A 45 (about) year old screaming and running away from a few poodles. To this day, that's the fastest I've seen him run.

Don't know if that was funny...but yeah.

#2-Teenager Posts

**********Not all of these are mine. Just sharing them with the world**********

That moment when you have something awesome to say and the subject changes.



You look at a test and are like, "What the f*** is this??????"



You take one bite from your pizza and the whole cheese comes off. You're left looking like a complete idiot with cheese hanging out of your mouth.



You sneeze: Silence

A popular person sneezes: OH MY GOD BLESS YOU I HOPE YOU FEEL BETTER



That awkward moment when your crush asks who's your crush.

#3-Public Restrooms

So...this is something weird that I do.....and I have no idea if anyone else does it.



When you're at a public restroom and take like 7 pounds of tissues to wipe the toilet, and then use even more paper towels and put it on the seat because god forbid you touch the seat with your butt.

#4-Technology

A few years ago our parents were introduced to modern technology. Like a baby being nurtured, they had no idea what it was or how to use it. We had to do everything.

Now......they have facebook, can turn on the computer by themselves, and can navigate their own e-mail.

They grow up so fast. *Sheds a tear*

#5-Harry Potter

Parent in commanding tone: Go do the dishes

Me: *Puts sock on counter*

Parent: What the heck is this?! *Hands me sock*

Me: MASTER HAS GIVEN DOBBY A SOCK

Parent: Um...what?????

Me: DOBBY IS A FREE ELF *Runs to room*

#6-Driving

My dad drives a car made in 2002, and whenever a newer, nicer looking car drives faster than him on the road, it's like they personally offended him.

So you know what he does? He drives faster, getting ahead.

It's over if the other person is like my dad and takes up the challenge.

My dad speeds up and whizzes by, so fast that I'm surprised we don't get a ticket.

#7-Phone

When the machine tells you that the person will be there shortly and plays music

2 hours later

IT'S STILL PLAYING MUSIC AND YOU'RE STILL WAITING.

I don't think machines have any sense of time.

#8-Farting

Does anyone sneeze and fart at the same time?

And then you're left grinning when no one notices that you farted.

Anyone? Don't hide it! Be proud!

#9-Radio

When you're listening to the radio and they make it so obvious that it's a cuss word that they block.

For example: "She's my bi-," and then they cut it off like they think you won't understand

I know, I know, this is meant for younger kids, but a 2-year-old could figure out what that meant.

And, secondly, WHY THE FUDGE WOULD A RESPONSIBLE ADULT LET THEIR 2-YEAR-OLD KID LISTEN TO MODERN DAY MUSIC.

#10-Proud Moment

So there was this guy, and I hated him, so one day I called him an "a**hole". (I know, I'm so bad)

He was like, "Who do you think you're talking to,"

My response was "You,"

He was speechless.

Its sad that that is one of the proudest moments of my life.

#11-No Life

You know you have life when you have nothing to do when you finish all your books

#2 and #5 I laughed so hard!

My gosh, me too!

#12-Parents' side vs. Reality (My parents, at least)

What Parents act like happened: I WANT TO NEVER GO TO COLLEGE AND I WANT TO BE HOMELESS AND NEVER EVER HAVE A JOB

What really happened: I don't want to be a doctor

_________________________________________________________

Parents Interpretation: YOU FAILED IN SCIENCE

Reality: I got a 95

________________________________________________________

Parents: I'm going outside wearing nothing

Reality: I'm wearing leggings and a short (and by short, I mean up to my elbow) sleeved shirt

________________________________________________________

Parents: I'm watching bad things that need not be mentioned

Reality: I'm watching youtubers who are in no way showing me "bad things"





Anyway, those are my parents for ya. Love them, but they can be extremely.....Asian (not poking fun in any way, just saying that they're the stereotype Asian parents)

#13-Spelling Bee for PJO

Judge: Spell 'perfect'

Fangirl: P-E-R

Judge: Go on

Fangirl: C-Y J-A-C-K-S-O-N

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Judge: Spell 'dreary'

Fangirl: D-R-E

Judge: Yes.....

Fangirl: W

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Juge: Spell 'cherish'

Fangirl: C-

Judge: Please, please, please

Fangirl: A-L-E-O

Judge: OH GODS ANOTHER ONE

#14-Fake Plants


My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.

-Mitch Hedberg

#15-Do you know everything?

People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
-Isaac Asimov


#16-A Day Without Sunshine

A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.

-Steve Martin



#17-True dat

I'm sorry, if you were right, I'd agree with you.

-Robin Williams


#18-I can't agree more

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.

-George Burns


#19-Glamorous is overrated

Any girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look stupid.

-Hedy Lamarr

Haha love the spelling bee one!

OMG KAMIKO, THESE ARE MY FAVS:

#2 Teenager Posts, the last two in that

#5 - just so awesome i loved that

#6, 7, and 11

#12

#13 - SO ME

#14, 15, 16

Can I copy and paste some of these to show some of my friends????PLEASE

Yes, of course!

Glad you liked them!

I am so doing that.

Omigosh, I didn't see 5 till now, it's hilarious!!!! XD

KAMIKO WHY HAVE YOU STOPPED THIS START AGAIN RIGHT NOW

NOW I TELL YOU

NOW.

HAVE YOU STARTED YET?

ok, lol

Why should pretty people be popular? Why should rich people pay less taxes? Why do the smart get bullied?

We should take a stand.

Popular Girl: So-

Maybe in a few years.
~

Harry Potter with his Firebolt....

I got that broom broom, pow
~

When I walk into the forest,

This is what I see.

Gale shooting squirrels, a-staring at me.

I got an arrow in my hands and I ain't afraid to

BOW IT, BOW IT, BOW IT, BOW IT,

I'M KATNISS AND YOU KNOW IT
~

When Alicia Keys (I probably spelled that wrong, bare with me) plays:

Leo: THIS GIRL IS ON FIRE (Clothes catch fire)
~

I hate how all these girls are staring at me every time I open my mouth. Or every time I laugh. Or every time I do anything, really.

I know I'm so amazing and hilarious and beautiful, but I'm not into you, so back off.

I stole this from phantxm. HAVE FUN GETTING IT BACK.
~

You've probably heard of some of these.

Several
Crappy
Hours
Of
Our
Lives

Constipated
Over-rated
Out of style
Loser

Junior
Educated
Rich
Kid
~

hate when teachers move you because you were talking.

This is how it's going to go down, teacher. I have two choices

1. If you move me while I was sitting next to my best friend, and now I'm across the room from her, I'm going to be yelling instead of whispering. Which one would you like?

2. I'm going to talk to the person sitting next to me, and if you isolate me, I'm going to talk to myself.

Comment what you would do!
~
No offense therapists, but I feel like you have the hardest job.

You have to ask people about their life when you don't really care.

At least you get payed to do it.
~

They see me rolling.......

They hatin'

Because I'm so awesome at falling down the stairs

yay!

:)

Scenario #1

Parent: The sky is green

Me: No, i-

Parent: DON'T YOU DARE TALK BACK TO ME

Scenario #2

Parent: How was your test

Me: It went well. I got a-

Parent: You should have done better. Do you see your cousin, she gets 100s and she's such a good kid. You should be more like her

Me: She smokes pot and steals

Parent: WHY ARE YOU JUDGING PEOPLE

Put those together and you get.....



A normal, everyday parent.

So these students took a test..and well...here are a few of the questions and their answers:



1. If you had 3 apples and 4 oranges in one hand, and 3 oranges and 4 apples in the other, what would you have?

Answer: Very large hands

2. What can't you have for breakfast?

Answer: Lunch and Dinner

3. What is the main reason for divorce?

Answer: Marriage



I'm so doing this on one of my tests.

A teacher was yelling, "Single file! Single! Single!." Her voice was so shrill, and we were already in single file, so I said:

"Stop yelling your relationship status."



Glad she didn't hear me

There are 2 types of people in this world:



Morning people and people who want to shoot morning people



That and people who sleep through the morning and the murderers till like 3 pm.

Mom: Why is your room so messy?

Me: So that if someone comes and tries to kill me, they'll trip over something and die

I dream of a better world where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questions.

Love is like a fart, if you have to force it, than it's probably crap.

I will slap you so hard even Google won't be able to find you.

Our phones fall, we panic, our friends fall, we laugh

Wi-fi went down for five minutes, so I had to talk to my family. They seem like nice people.

Love me and I will move mountains to make you happy. Hurt me, and I will drop those mountains on your head.

XD

I did a push-up today. Well, actually, I fell down, but had to use my arms to get back up, so close enough. Now I need chocolate.

To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and whatever you hit, call it the target.

Two sisters were having a fight. One is 14 and the other is 6.

The 14 year old yelled: "Well, Santa's not real!"

The 6 year old plucked up some courage and yelled back, "Well, neither is Edward Cullen!"

One ran from the table crying. I think we all know who.

I don't think that I could ever stab someone. I mean, let's be honest. I can barely get the straw in the Capri Sun.

XDXDXDXDXDXDXD YES.

I know, I'm amazing.

+snort+

lol