Queereaders discussion

News has broken that actor, QI host, and probable pub quiz supremo Stephen Fry, 57, has become engaged to Elliott Spencer, a comedian 30 years his junior.

It is thought the couple have been dating since at least November last year (or as Mail Online had it: “November of this year”), and on 23 December made a formal application to marry.

Of course, in a world in which everybody’s love life is ostensibly fair game, “Stephen Fry” was trending this morning on Twitter, and while Fry tweeted that he was very grateful for congratulatory messages – including from the actor Robert Webb, activist Peter Tatchell and pianist James Rhodes – plenty of people were quick to call out the age gap.

Rest of article here:
http://www.theguardian.com/culture/20...

Thoughts?

I personally don't have any stigma against age-gap relationships as long as those involved are legal and consenting adults. It's really no one's business but theirs. Good for them!

I say more power to Stephen and Elliott. It's there business and no one else's.

I totally agree!

I'm reminded of the time I was having dinner with friends and an older man at the table next to me handed me his camera and asked if I would mind photographing him and Jonathan, the young guy accompanying him. After I took the photo, I asked if Jonathan was his son. When he told me Jonathan was his husband, I felt my ears go hot. Boy, did I feel like a total idiot! That will teach me not to make assumptions.

@Nancy :-)

Kernos wrote: "@Nancy :-)"

I babbled my apology, but both were accustomed to such reactions. :)

It turned out that they were really nice, friendly guys, and I ended up chatting with them more than the group of friends I was with.

I wish it weren't an issue.

Don wrote: "It works for a lot of people and I wish them both well.

I hope I don't fall for a guy that young because I wouldn't want him taking care of me and me leaving him alone.

I have a good friend th..."


I'm very happy for your friend, Don. It's perfect proof that age makes no difference and you love who you love. It's only recently that I've started to think about aging, illness, death, and the possibility of being alone or being unable to care for myself.

My husband is 5 years younger than I am, but has more health problems. He is also worried about suffering Alzheimer's, like his dad did.

I was thinking about this last nite as I was trying to fall asleep. I've heard a lot of complaints about "Daddy/Son" relationships which are almost all very negative. OTOH, a lot of awwws with straight couples with large age gaps. I'm reminded of the Aaron Taylor-Johnson 24 y/o marriage with Sam Taylor-Johnson a 47 y/o women which seems accepted. And older men with young women is so common it's hardly considered weird.

I suspect when Gay men are of disparate ages, it's more a homophobia thing or a recruiting our kids thing. Agism works in all directions.

Don wrote: "I'm not so sure Kernos, especially when the older person is wealthy, the younger is usually presumed to be a gold digger in heterosexual relationships."

I don't know a lot of wealthy people, but quite a few old man younger women relationships and they seemingly are taken without criticism at least publicly.

I had a het age gap relationship, with me 18 and him 40. We had to be fairly private, and I didn't dare tell most of my friends and relatives. But that was years ago...

Oh and he told none of his!

Nancy wrote: "News has broken that actor, QI host, and probable pub quiz supremo Stephen Fry, 57, has become engaged to Elliott Spencer, a comedian 30 years his junior.

It is thought the couple have been dating..."

Good luck to them! Stephen is a very charming man, and Elliott, well, I don't know him, but he looks so cute!

I don't think the age gap ,atters at all in my opinion.

As long as they're both consenting adults, what's the big deal?