Gathering Of Dedicated Scribblers discussion

Hello, everyone. This is my first post here. I'm writing a YA novel about friendship and aliens. I've just finished chapter 5. I would be grateful for your feedback. Thank you.

Logline: Two teenage girls on a DIY spa retreat get caught up in a dangerous and unexpected adventure when they stumble across an alien spacecraft.

Dramatic question: How will the close friendship the girls share help them to survive?

Chapter 5: https://www.coursera.org/learn/write-...

Hey Eleanor,
First, I want to welcome you to this group... Welcome to GODS! Haha! (That's lame, sorry)

Well anyway, I reviewed your Chapter 4 and will proceed to your chapter 5 somewhere within this week.

If you have time, could you give my chapter 4 a constructive review? It'll help a lot.
https://www.coursera.org/learn/write-...
Thank you and happy reading!

Eleanor wrote: "Hello, everyone. This is my first post here. I'm writing a YA novel about friendship and aliens. I've just finished chapter 5. I would be grateful for your feedback. Thank you.

Logline: Two teenag..."

I'll read your chapter tomorrow. I'm on chapter 5 on Coursera as well.

Thank you, both.

I'm getting mixed reactions to the shared POV (the 1st person POV changing between the characters). Some people say they like it, some say it confuses them.

My story is as much about the girls' friendship as it is about the adventure, so I really want to use the 2 characters' POVs for them to see and comment on how their friend is reacting to certain events. I want to keep this split on the POV, but I don't want to confuse my readers. If anyone has an idea of anything I can do to make it work more smoothly, I'd like to hear it. Originally, I'd thought of each character having their own text font, so the different sections would actually look different, but coursera doesn't allow for that.

Hey Eleanor, thanks for the review.

The only advice that I could give you (as I am doing multiple POV as well) is to limit the exchange in a chapter and actually, change the POV only when it is relevant. And if you're worried that the other character doesn't have a say, you could include their bodily reactions and have them in dialogues. You could also try the Third Person limited where the transitions are quite flexible while still grounding your readers to the POV.

I hope these help you. Thanks again and keep writing!

Arlu wrote: "Hey Eleanor, thanks for the review.

The only advice that I could give you (as I am doing multiple POV as well) is to limit the exchange in a chapter and actually, change the POV only when it is re..."

Thank you. I'll think about it in the next chapter.

I have submitted a review on Coursera.

Hello. I have just submitted chapter 6. This one felt like it took a while! Please give it a look. I'm grateful for any feedback. Thank you.

Chapter 6: https://www.coursera.org/learn/write-...

I just left feedback for you on Coursera.

M.L. wrote: "I just left feedback for you on Coursera."

Thank you.

Eleanor wrote: "Hello, everyone. This is my first post here. I'm writing a YA novel about friendship and aliens. I've just finished chapter 5. I would be grateful for your feedback. Thank you."

Hi Eleanor, I've sent some feedback on your chapter 5. Sorry it took me this long to review it, I've been struggling a lot this past weeks. Anyway, if you have time, would you review my chapter 5? Thank you and happy reading!

https://www.coursera.org/learn/write-...

For a smoother reading experience ( and a proofread and edited version), the Drive link is here: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1wNl3...

Arlu wrote: Hi..."

I left you some feedback on Coursera.

Thanks Eleanor!

Hello. I've been getting some very helpful feedback. Thank you, all. I'm so glad I joined the GODS :)

Here's chapter 7. This is the start of act 2 and a new subplot. There's a new narrator at the start, who is a little...different. I've tried to show this in the style of the narration. Please tell me what you think. Thank you.

Chapter 7: https://www.coursera.org/learn/write-...

I'm at the first 'table read' in the course. Here's the link to my Google doc of chapters 1-7. I kept picking at it, rewriting single lines over and over again. So I'm just going to post it here and move on with chapter 8 before I go mad!

I would be grateful for any feedback. Thank you

Doc for 'TABLE READ' Chaps 1-7: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1H...

Eleanor wrote: "Hello. I've been getting some very helpful feedback. Thank you, all. I'm so glad I joined the GODS :)

Here's chapter 7. This is the start of act 2 and a new subplot. There's a new narrator at the ..."

Just submitted some feed back for your Chapter 7. How far are you into the story? Chapters ahead or writing a new one each week?

Thank you. Yes, the Calypso/Callisto is a typo! Ooops. Thanks for spotting it. They are going to talk about things like the oxygen, yes - it's important in the story later on. I want the cat and the aunt to appear again, but I'm a little stuck on the details of their sub plot right now. I have some idea - I just need to develop them into something with some plot value.

I'm writing it and submitting it a chapter at a time, but I have a rough plan already on what will be in each chapter.

Thank you so much for the feedback.