aspiring authors discussion

Hello :D

Hi! What's your story idea? :)

ok, so:

its about two sisters, who are princesses, but one (Astrid- the protagonist) isnt very princess-y. shes more into what's Out There. shes 15. the elder (Gabrielle- the antagonist) is your typical princess-y girl. but Gabrielle has a secret. (havent really figured that out yet, haha)


I've decided that Astrid is omnikinetic, so she is really powerful, but she cant become queen because of the 'eldest rules first' custom.

I could go on and on, but I'll try to explain the plot in a few sentences:

astrid rebels and becomes empress of a bombed neighbouring planet, as she sees that her sister needs to go, cus shes abusing her authority and the people. this ideas been festering since 26th december 2020, so I've put a lot of thought into it AND I HAVENT EVEN STARTED WRITING.

so that's mine; what's yours? :))

and also theres rules I've come up with, like:

they all have light coloured hair, but as they make bad choices, it grows darker. its frowned upon to have dark hair in this world.

Ooh I like that rule!

Here' the synopsis for mine...

In a world full of psychic abilities, only the strongest prevail…
Ersa is the last living member of the Metry Clan, a clan that drove themselves to madness and disarray. She is blessed with the power to learn information about an object or person by touching it. Even the floors speak to her. She wants her life to be easy, but knows that such a fate is near impossible to reach.
Adrian is the crown prince of Ivory, and with the king’s health failing and insurgents knocking on the palace door, he needs a wife to be his queen. Thus the renown competition of minds opens for one lady from each clan to come and present themselves and their skills to him. Many girls pry for a chance at the prince; Ersa has been dreading it. But once Ersa gets to know Adrian, she learns there’s much more to him- and the kingdom- than even she knew.

whoa

that's really cool

Thank you! Honestly I find that when you start out with an idea, quantity is better than quality because you can always go back and refine things, but it’s hard to add more detail.

yeah you can always change the bad things, but it's more difficult to add more things - so im guessing that means for my first draft I should just write it all down to get started?

Yep! You just wanna get started

I have! I've written almost a page!! I had to stop because I went a run :'(

That's great! If you want me to read it over for you I'm happy to do that :)

Tapping my feet to no particular rhythm, I look over at her. Her long gown, her perfect, blonde hair. Her bright blue eyes, her perfect skin. Am i jealous? No. Am I angry about it? Yes. Underneath her many layers and sweet facade, she's a whole other person. But no one else sees that.

She's sitting with the perfect posture, with her stationary all neat and aligned, and a big, perfect smile on her face. But her eyes dart all around the room, clearly distracted from what our mother is saying. 

"What is the primary duty of a queen?" Mother asks, her eyes pleading for Gabrielle to raise her hand, even once, but disappointed to see it's only mine in the air. "To protect her people, at all costs," I say. At least, that's what I've always thought. Mother shakes her head microscopically.

As I lower my hand, I knock it against my desk, causing my pens and my science book to fall off. I've never had any particular grace; yet another difference between Gabrielle and I. I try to pick up the book, but Gabrielle grabs it first, with a smirk on her face.

The window opens unusually and a strong gust of wind blows Mother off her feet; I snatch the book from Gabrielle, place it in my bag, and rush to help Mother up and to close the window. I look in her green eyes, desperate for some sign of affection, but there's nothing. I'm just on the sidelines, a backup. The heir to the throne, but only if Gabrielle dies. Just a backup. 

I sit back down, and notice Gabrielle had been sat down the entire time, setting straight her dress and her hair. Mother seems to find something good in her, but I know different. Mother doesn't see the whole picture. Because of her non-existent strength and leadership skills, she is considered the perfect material for a queen. Sit back, relax, and let your husband handle things. If I were queen, I would handle things myself, but that would be frowned upon.

criticism is welcome and wanted :))

I think this is a great start! My only critique is to make sure you don’t over describe things, like the unusual gust of wind, you probably don’t need the word unusual there. Also, I obviously don’t know how advanced science is in this world, but the word microscopically seemed out of place to me. But I really love this intro :)

I thought that microscopically would work because it shows that her mother disproves of her answer, but doesnt want to be too obvious about it. I think science is going to be a big thing in this though. thank you! :))

Hello! How are you? :)

I've written 4 pages now! and around 3 chapters. I dont know how to make it interesting though, because there isnt really a whole lot exciting happening, and I wouldnt want anyone reading it to get bored and skim read