Sad Bitches discussion
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The Ex Talk | February 2021
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Sorry I’m a little confused, these are the “pitstops” for us to discuss the book? How often are we going to discuss it?
Mod
Yes, these are "pitstops". I chose them based off of how the book was divided up and what I know happens. Since this is this month's book I think everyone should say specific things that they found interesting within the sections as they are reading and then we can all comment and discuss it.
Are there particular dates we should discuss each pitstop?
Mod
I didn't have any particular dates in mind, but we could do it by weeks.
I know you also mention another book for this month, I don’t remember the name but it was something greek mythology vibe, I don’t know if we’ll read it too. Idk about you but I can make time to read it this week and if it’s ok to you, we can discuss it on sunday?
Mod
You can post about the book whenever you are reading it. I already read the book so it really is just for whenever you have time.
Sounds good, y’all. I’m going to aim to be past the halfway point by Sunday.
Mod
My biggest observation so far is that the author pushes the "generational gap" hard. He's 24, not 18. An exampl..."
Pitstop 1:
(view spoiler)
Maria wrote: "The author definitely emphasized the age gap so much! It kind of reminds..."(view spoiler)
First of all I don´t know how to put the "hide/view spoiler" thing but I definitely mention details about the first pitstop... SPOILERSOh my, I don´t know why it took me so long to get into the book, but after she accidentally liked the FB post and he sent a friend request, I was so in!
And I agree that they made it seem like 29 and 24 is a big deal, they are in a perfect age range but maybe it is some sort of a social construct stigma like "the man should be the older in the relationship" and I´m not saying they are equally important but it's how Ruthie said that people expect POC to date people of the same ethnicity or race and act weird when it isn´t and she talks about how if a white man/woman date her, do they have an Asian fetish? so if an "older" woman dates someone younger, is that a fetish too? does a 5-year difference make her a cougar?.
Personally, I think who cares? But I see where Shay´s struggle comes from, same with tinder/bumble like I don´t think she struggles with getting matches but with how many people in there are serious about a relationship, this quarantine I gave it a try to these apps and at first, it was so validating getting matches and really funny but then I faced that problem, 90% of conversation got sexual before the 5th reply, the rest that seemed more into "dating/relationships", it just wasn´t going to work so you paused the dating apps for a while, then go back again to it but each time the thrill and the hopes are lower.
I don´t know how people could discover them, only Shay´s BFF knows, I was thinking about the appearance of Dom´s ex. Also don´t you think that the "enemies to lovers" books are not really that, like there sure are people I don´t like and I internally rolled my eyes at but they are not my enemies like they are not trying to bring each other down, you know?
TT wrote: "First of all I don´t know how to put the "hide/view spoiler" thing but I definitely mention details about the first pitstop... SPOILERSOh my, I don´t know why it took me so long to get into the b..."
You have great insight! The only experience I have with online dating is Ok Cupid back in 2015 so my knowledge is a bit outdated to say the least! I still don't understand why so many people struggle to act like sensible, polite human beings on the internet.
I think it's really cool that the author touched on interracial dating. I'm biracial and I live in a major city (do not feel pressured to share your personal information just because I'm mentioning mine) so interracial dating never came across as taboo for me but for some people it still is! It truly blows my mind.
You totally read my mind about the enemies to lovers angle not being as strong as expected. It really didn't take much at all for Shay to warm up to Dominic! Which I think is hilarious! She's very silly which is what makes me wonder what she is going to do next.
I'm going to ditch spoiler tags, too, but let it be know that I'm about to talk about Pitstop 2:SPOILERS
Shay and Dominic are...MESSY. The weird bar scene was totally out of nowhere and made zero sense. Don't get me wrong, I found it very entertaining but it seemed very out of character for Dominic to randomly get plastered alone on a Monday night. In fact, it seems very out of character for most people when they have work first thing in the morning - at a job that they actually like at that.
My favorite segment was John in South Lake Union. And I will quote John directly:
“Seems pretty convenient to me that you two, on the heels of your breakup, just happened to be qualified to host this show,” says John in South Lake Union. “And I use the word ‘qualified’ loosely. But I guess they’ll put anyone on the radio these days if it means getting more clicks.” (page 160)
John! Has! Me! Cackling!
Dominic got really defensive, too, and basic said that their show wasn't a lie and he (Dominic) has a degree and therefore wouldn't lie...
Messy!
I agree on the dating thing, why is it hard for people to act normal and respectful and I get it if you don’t want anything serious, many guys put on their profiles “not looking for anything serious” and that’s totally ok, but many others tru to play the nice guy card but they come off as creeps really quick. I actually screenshot the part she deleted the app and sent it to my friend because it was so relatable! Yeah, it feels weird that he got wasted on a monday and by the time they arrived at his apartment he was more sober, but I don’t like first kisses to be blame on the alcohol, so they don’t have any excuses.
And yes I laughed during the radio segments, the book is actually funny, i love the concept of the transcripts and the tweets. And I like Dom and Shay dynamic a lot, and how the author builds tension.
And re: enemies to lovers, I haven’t read many books with that concept but they are all the same, for the protagonist to refer to the guy as the nemesis, they warn up to them pretty quickly and I don’t know how you feel about romance books where you see both points of views vs only one.
I like the one point of view because it makes you guess how the other person feels but I also think that they make the love interest look really perfect, like the girl from twitter said if Dom was her boyfriend, she wouldn’t break up w him
Mod
I also feel like the whole enemies portion of their relationship was not as developed as it could have been. They just kind of seemed to slightly dislike one another.
I mean Dom does seem really interesting and likable (with the minor exception of mentioning his degree every two seconds). Shay is kind of hot and cold when it comes to their friendship/relationship. One minute she's like yes and then the next minute she's like no, but I don't really understand why.
.....Or maybe that's just me
So I finished the whole book, but I made notes for each step so I don't spoil things, but if both of you finished maybe we can just talk about it in general. Third pitstop talk with spoilers:
I really like Dom and Shay, and I, once again, find the book to be funny and it got kind of sexy too haha, I prefer 18+ books than pg only because it feels more realistic/natural but I actually don´t care about sex scenes in books because they feel cliché like if you read one, you read all (most of the times it the best guy ever in every aspect, no other guy was like him, and blah blah blah) BUT I love build-up and sexual tension especially when its random scenes that are not supposed to be, I think the author does a good job with this.
And why would your boss/company pay for a romantic weekend? Like I get the boss want them to feel like a real couple but that seems extremely unprofessional lol, but for the "only one-bed" trope I guess it was great.
Also, yes I know they are characters, and its fiction but I mean I get invested, and I hate how miscommunication seems to be the to-go technique of lots of this type of romance novels, and it's ok and in honor of my favorite book (right now), "It Ends With Us" by Colleen Hoover, where *spoilers*? although it's something I implemented in my real life...She mentions this thing about "naked truths" where you say what you really think, no matter what, even when in other situations you wouldn´t in order to not look bad, so here it comes:
Naked truth: Shay´s issues seem too meh/vanilla/shallow for me like the main problem is that, yes you get too invested in your relationship and you scare people away but the dude just told you a few days ago he has only been with one person and he doesn´t feel like going around and meaningless date every woman he meets, like she wants a relationship, she is worry being almost 30 and not settled, so why commit to a no-strings-attached relationship, when she wants the opposite! Like hey Dom, all in or nothing?
Yes! Y'all are killing me! hahaha!I finished the book, as well, but I'm going to speak about the story up to the fourth pitstop:
I agree with you Maria, I found Dom to be surprisingly likeable as well. Once he knocked of the master's degree thing he was MUCH better. Shay was a little confusing to me as a character. I liked that the story touched on the concept of someone not being "pulled together" in the late 20's. I totally understand her struggle with trying to define who she is as an independent adult HOWEVER I thought it was strange that she bought a whole ass house in Seattle because she essentially felt like she should at her age. That's so expensive! And a massive commitment! But I digress...
I agree with you TT, 18+ novels to feel more realistic to me, as well. I love what you said about all sex scenes basically being the same because it's so true! It's so funny in novels when characters who don't have much sexual experiences are magically sex gods.
Shay's problems do feel very self inflicted, though they did become a little more layered/relatable as the book went on....but I don't know, I read the last 100 pages while drinking my first glass of wine in three weeks so...
I thought is was super strange that their boss paid for them to use a super secluded very obvious love shack, too. If I were a coworker I would have assumed they banged - so I got a kick out of those two acting like they were being sneaky by groping each other under the tables in staff meetings and fondling each other in elevators.
Also......the grief episode was strange. The initial idea on Shay's part didn't make sense because it very obviously didn't fit with the vibe of the show (and she assumed the reason her boss didn't like the idea was solely because she is a woman). Normally I'm pretty good at skimming segments of books that aren't the most riveting but I straight up skipped the whole chunk about the grief episode. I just couldn't do it. Her mom was getting remarried anyway so why drag up harsh memories during such an exciting time for her (especially in the public eye)? What was most surprising to me was that the grief segment contributed absolutely nothing to the plot since I finished the book without feeling like I missed anything.
Shay is such a mess!
Mod
Let's be honest the best episode of their podcast was with John from South Lake Union.
I understood that Shay didn't want to show affection too quickly because of her past relationships, but I also think she shot herself in the foot when she jumped into a type of relationship she didn't want. I also feel that it was quite apparent Dom wanted a relationship, like he literally said he only knew how to function in a long term relationship. Shay should have just been honest about her feelings from the beginning.
Kent seems like a horrible manager. The whole podcon incident was totally uncalled for. I will say, that was a great twist! I didn’t see it coming at all. What do you think about Dom staying for his job? Part of me understands Shay’s anger (I would be, too, if I were in her shoes) and part of me understands Dom’s desire to maintain a job in a field he’s passionate about (especially in a major city like Seattle). Plus, job hunting is the worst! Seriously, it’s the bane of my existence.
Mod
He literally orchestrated their relationship and then exposed them at the peak of their podcast career just so he wouldn't lose them. I feel like he could of done that at a later time than at the very beginning of their career.
I was honestly really upset with Dominic for staying at the radio station. I would have understood more if he had given a reason for staying there, but he didn't. He didn't even try to justify his decision. I also feel like his romantic gesture was not enough, he could have said something about keeping the job, but he still chose to not say a thing about it, meanwhile Shay is still jobless. I also kind of feel like his decision went against the morals he had at the beginning of the book.
Did you guys feel like his decision to do the podcast led to this decision?
Do you guys think that the podcast recalibrated his moral compass?
About Kent: what an as***** (how are we feeling about cursing and all that? I wont do it if someone don’t like it or if we are keeping this family friendly) so the station needs to fire people because there’s no money, but it can afford to pay a totally unprofessional romantic weekend for two co workers 🙄 and then pulls a toxic relationship tactic thing of “I don’t want you but you can’t be with someone else” and does the whole thing at the podcast con, which doesn’t make sense! Why would that affect the image of Shay and Dom (who kept hosting) and not the radio station. Did they say that only the two of them planned it and the station wasn’t aware? Did I missed that? Dom: honestly he was quite wonderful, really boyfriend material, he might’ve bend his morals but I thought the excuse was because that way he could work and be close to Shay and ok he didn’t say anything during the panel, he froze, I can tolerate and understand that, but after Shay goes to him and yells and storm off, instead of apologizing he keeps working with Kent?? It truly feels out of character Or are those his true colors?
The following includes spoilers of the rest of the book: First of all, I give many books/movies and give an initial grade but with time it goes up or down, I initially gave this book 4/5 because I liked the characters and it was funny but maybe I was in a better mood then than I am now so now I’ll give it a 3/5.
The thing is I didn’t like the big apologize act, I don’t love big public acts and I don’t think this one was that romantic, for me it was a bit pretentious that he thought Shay would be listening. And I feel she did more by rushing to the station than he did by doing a long due apology.
There’s this scene from a movie (Force Majeur) where a family is having breakfast outdoor in some sort of ski resort at the Alpes (i think) and then an avalanche comes and the dad’s reaction is to grab his phone and wallet and save himself and leaves his kids and wife behind...
I think of that when I think of Dom post Austin, he chose to saved himself, to keep working for the bad boss and I mean you’ve been dating for like a month, he chose to save/keep his career than his girlfriend, ok, that’s fair I guess, he regrets it? Ok, we are humans, we make mistakes, he wants another chance? Ok but you are still working with and at the place that ruin us and you’d probably keep working there if I didn’t show and forgive you, I think I’d need more growth from him because if I were Shay, and i were in her position where I want to settle down, I need someone who would choose me over a job in a heartbeat. I’m not saying I wouldn’t like Dom back but many healthy relationship bridges were burn.
I'm totally cool with swear words as long as slurs aren't used. I'm going to be writing about the rest of the novel, as well.I gave the book 3 stars, as well, because it was a fun, easy read. I wasn't particularly fond of any of the characters but I didn't mind spending time with them throughout the story.
I totally agree with y'all, the big "romantic" gesture was not impressive to me and it definitely would not have worked on me (not even a little bit). If I were Shay I absolutely would not rush off to go find him. TT is right about him being pretentious by assuming she would still be listening, but considering how hard he clung onto his degree I guess it's not a such surprise.
Honestly, I think regardless of whether or not Dom did the podcast he would still keep the job despite how crappy Kent is. Kent was doing weird shit the whole book and Dom totally didn't care. I have a hard time believing he didn't notice because every now and then he would "stick up for Shay" and she (of course) gave him a metaphorical standing ovation for. As far as his morals, he seems like the type to run his mouth about his morals but throws them out of the window when it's convenient for him.
If I were in Shay's shoes I would want to be settling down and having a partner who is fully committed to a future with me. I would not want a partner who would tolerate anyone treating me like garbage. Dom is totally the dad who ditched his family! lol!
Is it just me or did Shay and Dom really not have that much in common? Like, they both liked the radio and their jobs but...I don't recall any normal conversations about hobbies or life asperations. Sometimes it seemed like Shay and Dom spent time together more because they didn't have any other friends rather than either of them being a particularly good match for the other.
I'm a very serious person when I date and I fall in love fast but even I thought Dom moving into her house at the end was a massive jump. It felt like a situation where a friend of mine is making a huge mistake but I can't say anything because I want to be supportive and they are an adult and are entitled to making their own decisions.
In the end, I felt like Shay should have spent some time soul searching before committing to a relationship with Dom and a new career. She was so wrapped up in her job for literally a decade...she's needed a complete and total fresh start. If she didn't have that house she could've even moved to Portland or San Francisco or literally anywhere else. New city, new job, new friends, new everything! That would have been a much more interesting ending, that's for sure.
Totally, what kind of cute rom-com book would it be without a happy ending with the couple together? but looks like we all would´ve preferred some standing up for herself from Shay!Wouldn´t that be a cool ending? someone worried about her time running out and looking for personal and professional stability deciding to figure out what she wants and do things for herself
I concur!Book clubbing with y'all has been a lot of fun! I'm going to start the next book soon!
- Up to the Ex Talk Episode 1
- Up to the Ex Talk Episode 5
- Up to the Ex Talk Episode 7
- Up to Apple Podcast Reviews
- Up to chapter 33
- Up until the end