Gathering Of Dedicated Scribblers discussion

I totally dumped my original first chapter. It had a significant flaw that I couldn't resolve. Also, I am trying more "Show, Don't Tell." This is drastically shorter, but i hope it's much more interesting.

Feedback?

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Calian thumbed through an all-too-familiar playlist displayed on his wrist pad. He just wanted something low key and rhythmic to focus on. Maybe catch a quick nap. It’s been a long nine hours. Something other than watching the Chandran landscape pass by on the simulated cabin windows to pass the time. Moving at 140 k/hr, the view seemingly never changed. Were it not for the support pylons streaking past every couple of minutes, it would be almost impossible to know they were moving at all.
A soft chime solicited passenger attention to the window’s superimposed information chyron. The scrolling info attempted to entertain with topographical maps and primary school trivia:
“POINT OF INTEREST: Anaxagoras Crater is coming within view. Named after a pre-Chandran philosopher, the crater is 52km across and nearly 3km deep. Anaxagoras lies along the older and larger Goldschmidt Crater. It’s young enough to still possess a ray system that reaches as far as Plato, 900km south. If you look close enough, you’ll see traces of orange regolith…”
The chyron continued on with more trivia but Calian ignored it. A couple of children in the row ahead jumped up to and raced to press their faces on the screen, trying desperately to find something entertaining. The parents had long since stopped trying to corral them, but other than some nose prints on the glass and typical siblings elbowing for position, they were pretty subdued. Calian noticed that were fewer kids on this leg than normal. Most of the families had been in the rear magtram that disconnected a few hours ago to head south to Sharma Shahar. Undoubtedly continuing on their Vigil and Remembrances pilgrimage. Calian would be heading to Sharma soon, but not for pleasure.
The only thing that Anaxagoras meant to him now was another 5 hours to Prakaash City. He closed his eyes and tapped the small subcutaneous sensor behind his ear to play some music.

It's a great start. You have about 1k more words to make a hook so that the reader HAS to read the next chapter.