Christian Speculative Fiction discussion

Writing Exercise #3: Subtext

Subtext is the unspoken or less obvious meaning or message in a composition or conversation. The subtext becomes understood by the reader or audience over time, as it is not immediately or purposefully revealed by the story itself.

Assignment: Create or import from one of your works a passage of dialogue that demonstrates subtext. This should show at least one of your characters speaking on the surface about something seemingly unrelated to the subject at hand, yet as the reader follows the conversation demonstrates a strong emotional message that is related.

Here is my entry. It is from my book, "The Serpent & the Dove."

They sat down at the small table on the balcony, and after Harris said the blessing, they began to eat.
“Just for argument’s sake,” Connie said, jabbing a tomato. “What would happen if I were to go home and visit my parents? Check up on them?”
Harris put down his fork and looked at her. “You know what kind of danger we’re in here. Do you really want to put your parents, or your sister, in that same danger? Would they even understand?”
“No, I guess not,” Connie said. She took another bite of her food, and then suddenly realized that she was crying. She dropped her fork and picked up her napkin and put it to her eyes. The tears gushed from her eyes, and the crying turned into sobs.
“I never realized how much I hate tomatoes,” she muttered to herself, still looking down. “They’re too red. The color of blood. I mean, what was God thinking when He created them? Morbid if you ask me.”
Harris didn’t say anything in return.
“Daddy has a vegetable garden outside the kitchen,” she continued. “Every year he raises tomatoes. The plants grow six feet tall. Mama loves cherry tomatoes. He loves to pick them when they are sweet and pop them in her mouth. She acts like she hates it, but they both laugh about it.”
Harris sat patiently waiting as she continued crying for several minutes. He didn’t put his arms around her but just waited. Finally, the sniffling died down, and she looked up at him.
“Are you all right?” he asked.
She nodded. “Better. I understand, Harris. But it’s hard.”

I will need to give this some thought. I've been accused of "no subtext" in my writing so this is a weak area for me.

Subtext has always fascinated me, but I'll admit that it's been hard for me too. So I try to experiment with it as much as I can. I think it can be a powerful tool if used properly. It just takes some practice.

This is about the closest I've come. Since it is near the end of The Sorcerer's Bane, I'll explain. Rayne had just been rescued from kidnappers and is wearing nothing more than underpants. The abuse he suffered as a child left his back scarred. Sashi tries to encourage him to put something on so he doesn't offend the townspeople but in truth, wishes to hide the scars from prying eyes. She slips for a second, mentioning his back before returning to her appeal.

I don't know if this counts, but it's all I've got.

“Hey Sashi, thanks for coming for…” He stuttered to a stop. “What?”
She giggled. “Nemora’s moons, Rayne. I’ve seen Stevie in his small clothes before, but he’s my brother. Seeing you with so little on, out here in the sunlight … well, it’s more than a little embarrassing. Hold on a minute.”
She grabbed Cole’s lantern, ran back into the cave, and emerged a few minutes later with a rather torn and dirty looking blanket. “Here, put this on.” She held the blanket out to Rayne.
He squinted at the ratty looking thing with a scowl. “No, I don’t think so. It looks like a family of moths have been eating it, and I’m sure there’re fleas. I’ve had fleas before. No thanks. I’ll be fine just as I am.”
“Your ... back…” Sashi stuttered. “I don’t think…” Biting her lip, she leaned into him. With her hands on her hips and her voice raised in exasperation, she said, “Nemora’s moons, Rayne. It’s not for you, you ninny. If you return to town looking like that and the girl from last night sees you. Well, I won’t be responsible. The blanket is to protect the women folk of Highreach. Let’s have a little modesty please, Your Highness.”

You're getting there. Symbolism plays a part in subtext. Think about Jesus' parables and how we know what he is talking about today, yet the people of the time--especially the Pharisees--didn't have a clue what the point of his stories were. It's all about context.

I have another exercise along these lines I want to share in coming weeks that I think will help as well. We're going to be talking more about dialog as well.

From Chapter 8 of The God Painter

He had been home for a week, led on a walk to a place he had not seen before across acres to a spring surrounded by long grasses and lush, sculpted blooms in vivid shades bursting from the ground—scarlet, black, mustard, turquoise—some almost six inches wide. They poked straight up, a sign that they had drunk abundantly and were quite sturdy, unlike the languid grass they picked their way through. It must have been noon, as he was hot and feeling exposed though it was November and he was fully covered.

At the edge of the spring the host paused to appraise him. “You said you wanted to know more.”

Shielding his eyes, Holt squinted at the inert pool of silvery water, aloof as mercury. The scene disturbed him, but he dared not say anything. He asked only, “Where are we?”

I'm not a huge authority on subtext. Like I said, I'm learning too. But the proof is in the pudding, and the subtext can't be so subtle that the reader misses it. On the other hand, I imagine you don't want to hit them over the head with the imagery.

My understanding is that subtext is generally limited to dialogue, but is tied to the context of the setting. Here are some other, more concrete, examples of directions the exercise could go:

1. A young man wants to tell his girlfriend that he loves her, but he can't bring himself to use words like "love," "cherish," or similar words. Instead he has to use a metaphor or simile.
2. A young woman needs to break up with her significant other, but can't use the words "we need to break up."
3. A parent has to tell their child that they are terminally ill.

Note that all of these scenarios are highly emotionally charged, hence the aversion to using direct language. You can see how valuable learning this can be.

Subtext can be the unspoken meaning in any text, not just the dialogue.

You're right, Jessica, but I suspect that subtext in the body of the story and in the dialogue are referring to two slightly different things.

In the body of the text, subtext is connotation, nuance, hint, or undertone of the story. In dialogue, subtext focuses on communicating underlying emotion that the character doesn't directly voice. Subtext as nuance in the story can refer to things other than emotion, such as secrets that a character is withholding.

I agree, they are different. In the example I provided, there was hardly any dialogue, but there was subtext directed at one of the book's themes, which is knowing and knowledge. Obviously, the point of the third-person description was not floral arrangements!

Unfortunately, I found the subtext in this short piece difficult to see since it was taken out of the larger context necessary to give it meaning. At least that is how I felt. But then, as I said above, I am not particularly adept at subtext, especially more obtuse subtext.

Yes, I agree. The subtext for this passage has been built up over many chapters. Probably too opaque to see in this passage.

Thanks. That makes sense.

I'll be traveling for the next few weeks, so I have posted Writing Challenge #4 early. It is here:

https://www.goodreads.com/topic/show/...

Hi I haven’t been on here for a while. got side tracked with Instagram. I am Dan and I write clean fantasy.This a fascinating conversation. Thank you Glen for starting it. Subtext could be a smile triggering a memory I guess.

Dan, can you explain that a bit more? Incidentally, I write fantasy as well. Welcome back!

I think I mean when a character goes to a certain place, and they smell something. It transports them to a different time in their life.