Support for Indie Authors discussion

Blurb Feedback for NA Urban Fantasy

Hey everyone! I’d love to get some feedback for my book. I studied some of the top blurbs and they’re all pretty much written in first person and most of them have a summarizing paragraph and occasionally a warning included (in case you’re wondering why I included that in the last two paragraphs. I left an underscore for the title and series title so I don’t break any of the subreddit rules). But I am iffy on the swearing label.

Thanks in advance for the feedback!

Blurb:
I can’t go back to the non-magical world. Magic is in my blood, even if I’m terrible at it.

Studying in the library on a Friday night never failed to make me feel like a loser. But my quiet night gets interrupted when I stumble across a coven of witches in the library. They weren’t expecting me, but my presence can only mean one thing. I’m a witch.

Not only do I have magic, but a few weeks ago I took an entrance exam at a secret magic university where witches become powerfully trained magicians. Since I failed the exam because of my poor magical talent, the university erased my memory and with it, all traces of magic in my life.

I’m not strong enough to become a magician, but anyone can be a witch. I refuse to let the coven turn me away. They’re my only chance to be a part of the magical world.

Unfortunately, there aren’t enough spots and I’ll have to fight my way in. Even worse, I’m up against handsome jerk Zane Casimir from a magical bloodline. I won’t let him or anyone else stop me. If I fail, my memory will be erased.

Magic is vicious, cruel, and wonderful. Death and chaos follows anyone who practices it. I should walk away, especially after a grinning demon starts haunting my dreams, but I can’t. I need magic—even if it breaks me.

Spark of Magic is the first book in the Blue Haven Witches series. It features witches, magicians, fae, and demons. This thrilling urban fantasy has angsty emotion, adventure, and a slow burn romance.

Warning: contains swearing.

It's not bad, but that's a lot of words to tell very little. The main character is magical, but sucks at it. We get it.

It's also a little confusing. She has her memory erased and all traces of magic, yet she remembers taking the exam and she apparently still has magic. And anyone can be a witch, but she has to fight her way in. For what purpose? If she's already a witch, because anyone can be, why does she need to fight to be a witch? Or, if it's just this coven that she wants, why? If she's so bad at magic and if it brings death and chaos and all that, why does she still want it?

I would drop the disclaimer. Those are pointless, really, and doesn't tell anything. Is it littered with "f-bombs" or does someone occasionally say "heck"? I always let my work be what it is and won't apologize for it. To me, that's what a warning feels like. "I'm sorry, but some of the characters swear. Please don't read my book if you might be offended." Besides, there are people who will hate your book simply because it has witches and magic and demons. Did that stop you from writing it? Are you embarrassed about it? I hope not. So, yeah, I would drop the disclaimer.

I will agree with Dwayne. It is confusing and has way too many words. A blurb for the back of a book should be around 250 words. You need to make each one earn its place in the blurb.

As to the warning, Unless you have a character that can't speak without swearing, I'd leave it out. If you are advertising in some newsletters you need to give that the book contains swearing and sex scene, nudity, etc.

I did include a warning on one book because of the subject matter and awareness of how it would affect a particular group of people adversely. I don't worry about swearing unless I'm targeting the sweet or Christian subsets,. New adult books, you can drop the warning since most of the them don't know how to talk without using words that can be offensive. Surprisingly, even some middle grade books contain swear words.

I like the blurb. If the cover caught my eye, I would be interested/look inside.

About the swearing, this is urban fantasy so I can't imagine a reader being surprised at swearing. First person works well.