The Sword and Laser discussion

Sooooo, I've never actually watched beyond the first Godzilla movie. Had the usual pop-culture exposure to it and vaguely wanted to watch. But I hate doing things out of order and could find more than one or two and always the later ones.

So I got a wild hair recently and, with the proliferation of apps, found that I could put together all the older ones. Had a binge up to the end of the "classic" era (1975) making 15 movies. And what a blast! Loads of cheesy fun.

1. Godzilla: The first and really the only one with even a pretense of literary merit. It's Japan's coming to terms with the atom bomb and its incredible destruction. As an island nation subject to typhoons and tsunamis, of course the menace comes from the sea. Like WW2, the menace can only be faced with a loss of pride and and sacrifice.

2. Godzilla Raids Again: Now we're introducing other dinosaurs, specifically the Anguirus. There's a long pseudo-scientific explanation. Why it was a giant bone-spiked hedgehog will remain known only to the writers. Contains paean to the pilots of WW2 and perhaps gives them an on-screen chance to recapture their bravery after utter defeat in that war.

3. King Kong vs. Godzilla: Heading towards cheese. They fight and ravage...you know, I can't quite recall. Godzilla still a baddie and King Kong gets cheers at the end. Godzilla's glowing back spikes featured.

4. Mothra vs. Godzilla: Mosura ya Mosura...A giant moth? Well, why not. Either you can accept the brownface Japanese "Pacific Islanders" or you can't. Breathtakingly silly, but if you can get past it, good musical numbers worthy of a Broadway show. Reminds me of Road movies with faux foreign cultures. And I love love love the fairy twins and their Mothra song.

5. Ghidorah, the Three-Headed Monster: Featuring Ghidora the three headed space monster, possibly the lamest Kaiju in the stable. Mothra and the Twins return. Features loads of Mothra's cocoon attack. How do they come up with this? Silly but oh so much fun.

You know, it occurs to me that I should split up these posts, so...

6. Invasion of Astro-Monster: Aliens! Somehow there's a planet trailing right behind Jupiter. Also, we have spaceships that can get there. They borrow Godzilla and Rodan, but it's a ruse - they want to take over the Earth! Now where have I seen that before. The start of "Godzilla as good monster" since, once freed from alien control, he fights against the invaders.

7. Ebirah, Horror of the Deep: It's a lobster, but that's not the real menace. A faceless group is attempting to make nuclear weapons for sale on the black market. (There's the nuclear bomb again.) Introduction of Monster Island. Mothra and the twins show again.

8. Son of Godzilla: So now we have a cute, smaller Godzilla named Minilla who blows atomic-breath rings. Er, okay. Big on the cutesy. Also smaller scale with smaller cast and no big crowd scenes. Set entirely on Monster Island.

9. Destroy All Monsters: Set 30ish years in the future. We have a moon base and regular space travel. If only. Another invasion, this time by aliens from an asteroid who are in humanoid suits. Their life form is very different from ours. Unsure why they would bother with Earth as Venus would fit them a lot better. Big ol' Kaiju All Star movie with all the big ones fighting (once again) the three headed space monster plus Fire Dragon, a flaming saucer. Godzilla firmly ensconced as good guy who is capable of destruction due to his power, but kind hearted.

This was apparently intended as the last Godzilla film but it did so well that low budget versions persisted. And man did those low budgets show.

10. All Monsters Attack: Clip show! A kid daydreams about Monster Island. Includes Minilla as a talking character learning to fight his own battles, just as the daydreaming kid has to defeat a bully. Wraparound story about bank robbers. Also thoroughly depressing in setting, as the industrial city of Kawasaki is show in all its unglory. The dark side of quick industrialization.

11. Godzilla vs. Hedorah: Straight up environmental warning. Hedorah is an extraterrestrial (natch) who eats pollution. That would be fine, but he then emits sulfuric acid mist that kills people.

Humans are able to do more now to help the Kaiju. They build giant electrodes to take out Hedorah, but can't get them powered in time. Godzilla powers them with his atomic breath, which works because reasons. A missed opportunity: The kid in this film has a telepathic link with Godzilla and his dad built the electrodes. They could have had the kid telling Godzilla how to do it, but nope. Or maybe that was in the original, who can tell with sub/dub edits.

12. Godzilla vs. Gigan: Another group of alien invaders, this time giant cockroaches. So natch, they have a cockroach Kaiju. That, plus a big birdlike thing with a chainsaw middle (conveniently hiding the rubber suit zipper.) King Ghidorah comes back for zzzzzz. Mind controlled Kaiju, King Ghidorah stops fighting once that is gone. Some gore now, blood flows when hit.

13. Godzilla vs. Megalon: An Ultraman-seeming robot called Jet Jaguar helps out, exceeding his programming when needed. Once again nukes rear their ugly head: During nuclear testing the humans wipe out part of ancient Lemuria, and the Seatopians seek revenge. Who's the good guy here? Well anyway, the Seatopians and their Kaiju Megalon are the designated losers. Anguirus apparently is a fan fave as he works with Godzilla now. Chainsaw dude Gigan back again so they can recycle FX shots.

14. Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla: Mecha-Streisand! Wait, that's South Park. Aliens from a planet circling a black hole (?) want to...what's that plot point...oh yes! Invade Earth. So they build their own Godzilla. He's got robot-y techno cool stuff and freaky easily-animated attacks. Old-tyme god King Caesar helps out but is much weaker than Godzilla. Anguirus ftw with the hedgehog spike attack on Mechagodzilla.

15: Terror of Mechagodzilla: Same aliens, different look, bring back Mechagodzilla plus a sea-dinosaur Titanosaurus. Features a bitter academic and his suspiciously robotic daughter. With all the implied love stories never fully developed in the Godzilla movies, this is the first one where a character expressed love, but still not even a kiss.

Aaaand that's the end! Of the original run at least. From there it's ten years to the next one. But really this is it for the classic films.

Some random thoughts after binge watching these over the span of four days

* It's interesting to see Godzilla's portrayal as Japan reconciling itself to the Americans, who defeated them and took over the country, then turned around and helped rebuild it. Godzilla goes from implacable monster to helpful and powerful ally. He's capable of destructive rampages but all while trying to help Japan.

* So many effects repeated! Maybe you wouldn't notice on an annual watch. Most major effects are repeated at least twice, many three times. Ah well, whatever keeps the budget under control

* The Kaiju are ridiculously silly and yet so much fun. There's Western followups with better effects. They are worse movies.

* Speaking of, I saw the Roland Emmerich flick in theaters and thought it silly. And not in that fun way. Having seen the originals I see now that the ridiculous character were a tribute to the stock comic characters in the original five or so. It doesn't make me like the Emmerich film any better, but at least now I understand why he did it.

* I got most of my watching-wishes fulfilled. Wanted to see the Mothra fairy twins, got that. Remembered a scene where Godzilla turns from destroyer to protector and kind of got that, but it wasn't as I recall. Oh well. And then, from the South Park Mecha-Streisand bit was "robot punch" that had a rocket propelled hand separating from the body. I thought I would see that in the Mechagodzilla ones, but nope. Maybe that's more of a Mecha thing. If anyone has a suggestion for where that came from, LMK!

Hey, feel free to jump in with anything Godzilla related, peeps! I was hoping for some discussion of classic Godzilla.

On that note:

* Looks like the Japanese defense forces shoot worse than Clone Troopers! Here you've got a 50 meter tall creature and you're missing it with 90% of the shots. Lots of pretty explosions tho.

* The Blue Oyster Cult song is fun, but the location is wrong Wrong WRONG! "Oh no, there goes Tokyo, Go go Godzilla!" Except...Godzilla only attacked Tokyo in the first movie. All the others were either set elsewhere, or Godzilla was defending Japan when other Kaiju attacked Tokyo (later classic films.)

* I have got to rewatch the South Park "Mecha Streisand" episode before these movies start to fade...

Your synopsis of the plots made me realize I have seen at least a few of these. But probably at least a few of those are through the lens of MST3K. 1, 4, 5, and 9 all sounded familiar. After that I’m not to sure. Did TechTV, way back in the day, air 1? I want to say that was after one of the ownership changes, and the new owners wanted to lean in to geekiness, not just technology and computers.

I do wish Trike was around, I think he would have been all over this sort of topic.

Here is a thought is The “Planet of the Apes” series to the US, what the Godzilla franchise is to Japan? And I’m talking about both from an entertainment standpoint as well as a political/ social commentary standpoint.

Not surprised that the later films would get the MST3K treatment. The films are both schlocky and culturally significant. Plus lots of Kaiju destruction and monster noises.

For instance, the second movie includes brave pilots from WW2, and the country was likely still hurting from the effects of that war. Yes, the pilots were brave. No, they were not fighting in a good cause. That does not make the pilots any less brave.

Or the Hedorah, the sludge monster. Schlocky premise, good ecological message. It's delivered with the subtlety of a sledgehammer, but for a people who industrialized so quickly with little thought to the consequences, it was a necessary message. Similarly the clip show one had a kid in a depressing dystopian cityscape, which was simply the city of Kawasaki.

As for Planet of the Apes, I think that will be my next binge. I recall watching all five at the age of ten or so, as they appeared on the Creature Double Feature. That's another series where only the first has "literary" merit, but they all have meaning.

You tempting me to track these down. I may have seen a few Godzilla movies as a lad. Funny I didn’t see more growing up I a diet of Japanese anime translate for the Australian market. B&W Astro boy was a favourite.

FWIW I wound up with most of them through HBO Max. But, Youtube had one. Some weird service with ads, annoying ones as they were every five minutes. But I got the flick.

I dunno your situation, but man, technology has changed. We have a Smart TV, just a basic Toshiba that's a few years old. You can search from the main screen and it goes through your apps and tells you where you can see it from those apps. It's not completely inclusive, it won't for instance search Youtube on its own, but it will prompt you if it doesn't find the film elsewhere.

I remember some of those from my childhood - especially Mecha Godzilla was one of my favourites I saw when visiting friends.
The chainsaw belly bird was also one of the stupidest ideas I have ever seen, but so much fun!

It's funny, I was 12 years old when the Roland Emmerich Godzilla came out and I loved it. That and South Park were my introduction to Kaiju so they have a special place for me. I'm sad to admit that I have NEVER seen any of the older movies except in short fragmented bursts on TV but I'm definitely inspired to check them out now. Thanks John!

I’m similar to Matthew in that references to and works inspired by the original movies are the closest I’ve ever come to watching these.

I’m also like John in that I like to watch things in their proper order. I used the JustWatch app to check if the first one was available anywhere to stream anywhere in the UK. Nope. Not even for a fee. :( The only option I can find is a dvd for £29.99, and I don’t want to watch 1 old monster movie THAT much.

But I appreciate the list here from John anyway. :)

I grew up watching Japanese & American kaiju movies (Didn't know that word until a few years ago though). I thought Godzilla (1998) was awesome at the time. I love the new movies too! I'm not interested enough to watch the old ones now, but would in a social situation. Too much new stuff to watch!