Read Women discussion

This is our discussion thread for our January fiction group read of The Pearl That Broke Its Shell, the debut novel of Nadia Hashimi, a former pediatrician of Afghan descent.

Hashimi's own website: https://nadiahashimibooks.com/the-pea...

A 2015 Washington Post Magazine profile on Hashimi: https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifest...

Lindsey will lead our discussion.

Let us know if you plan to read and join in.

I have started this and am enjoying it so far.

Thanks Carol!

I’m finishing up Bad Feminist and will be starting this one in a day or two :)

I’ll be joining in but a bit later in the month. A few of my library holds came in that I want to read first. 😬

I did start this one last night and found the beginning so far pretty difficult. The gender roles and social constructs for these women are pretty awful and depressing. I understand all the cultural and religious differences, but it's still depressing. Especially considering we start in a time when these girls should be in school but are kept out by their father's decision instead of an imposed order like they are suffering through now (again). There's so much to unpack here with gender roles and social construct enforcement by members of family and community... Other than those shitty circumstances, I am quite enthralled with both girls' stories and timelines, and had the hardest time putting it aside last night to get some sleep.

Agreed that the gender roles are very depressing and the fact that the girls are kept out of school by Rahima’s family seemingly because they will be harassed on the streets, which brings dishonor, is extremely frustrating. I am hopeful that Shekiba’s storyline is leading somewhere more positive since the aunt feels it important to share with her nieces.

I am engaged in both storylines and eager to see where each will lead.

This is a such an insightful book for me about Afghan culture. She doesn't shy away from sharing her culture's biases and stigmas, but I like that she writes them as they are, neither projecting strong agreement or disagreement other than how the women in the story experience them. I also like that she made space for women with disabilities- even though their stories are full of strife and difficulty. Another example of her really showing many facets of the culture. I'm pretty far along, finding it difficult to stop reading. Doing my best to avoid spoiler comments since it's only the 4th.

Totally agree Anita & Susan, the women’s circumstances in Afghan society is difficult to handle.
As I’m reading, I keep wondering why the women are so cruel to each other too. I suppose with multiple wives in a household there is a hierarchy and competition but still….

Sophie wrote: "Totally agree Anita & Susan, the women’s circumstances in Afghan society is difficult to handle.
As I’m reading, I keep wondering why the women are so cruel to each other too. I suppose with multi..."

Yes, the generational "gatekeeping" by the older wives and matriarchs is frustrating, but it's obviously a circle of abuse and tradition. I feel like they lean on religion as guidance and have taken concepts of obey and respect to extremes. Heirarchy is a key word and concept in this book. I finished it a few days ago, but still think about it.

I haven’t started yet (planning to tonight!), but eager to get started after reading these comments.

I finished this the other day. Overall, I liked it and was invested in both storylines, but I was hoping for a bit more...hope. I've seen some reviews that have mentioned the resilience of the female characters, and I suppose I could try looking at it that way, but while I was reading it all felt so heavy and negative. Perhaps my privileged lens got in the way of seeing them as survivors rather than as victims, which is something to think about. I suppose they could be both at the same time. I'll hold off saying anything more specific until more have finished. :-)

Susan wrote: "I finished this the other day. Overall, I liked it and was invested in both storylines, but I was hoping for a bit more...hope. I've seen some reviews that have mentioned the resilience of the fema..."

Susan, I totally get what you're saying, and not to feed a downward spiral, but I felt a depressing sense of inevitability at the end since we ended with such a hopeful change in Shekiba's past timeline, only to have a glaringly similar enforcement of suppression generations later in Rahima's timeline. The changes have been circular and go round and round which is a little depressing! I definitely agree that these women are resilient and finding ways to resist and change within their confines. Like the story the book is named after. The pearl knows it will be destroyed but the sea calls to it to break its shell anyways.

I started to read the book today 🙂. Hope to join the discussion when I have read more.

I liked this 2021 interview/transcript, "In conversation with Nadia Hashimi" published at the Coffee and Conversations blog. There are no spoilers about this novel, but she discusses her protagonists and other relevant topics.

https://coffeeandconversations.in/rea...

Thank you for that interview Carol! It makes me interested in her other works representing that Afghan-American experience she talks about.

I’ve finally made time to start this one! Has anyone else joined or finished the book recently?

I started reading with some of the above comments in mind. Mainly about how the women are so awful to each other. The relationship Shekiba has with her mother in law and the women in her family are eerily reminiscent of the stories my MIL tells me of her family (who are middle eastern, but not Afghan). It’s a bit jolting to see the cultural acceptance of ridicule and mistreatment of women (from both men and women alike.) Rahima’s mother, just 2 generations away seems quite different, but still torn between loving her daughters and feeling ashamed for having no sons.

I’ll add more thoughts as I continue on :)

I've finished the book some days ago.

While reading I also had the above comments in mind. Above all the discussion whether Rahima and Shekiba should be seen as survivors, not as victims. To me they seem to be fighters. Real strong and astonishing women who always find a glimpse of hope in all the desperation.

I learned a lot while reading the book. Before, I didn't know anything about Afghan history. While reading I looked several things and events up. For me the book contained quite some hope about the Afhgan future. And I know it was written before the Taliban regained power in Afghanistan. I wonder what Nadia Hashimi would say today. If there exist recent interviews with her on this topic, please let me know!

@Jana, check out this September 2022 56- minute interview moderated by Alan Frisk, Head of Aid Coordination Unit, SCA/SAK.

Welcome to a conversation with Nadia Hashimi about her book, The Pearl that Broke Its Shell. And her perspective on the situation in Afghanistan today and the problematic history of American war and politics in Afghanistan.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ksAYD...

There's a link to a transcript, and the recording is broken into 4 labeled segments.

Her Twitter account offers a good snapshot of what she's thinking recently, as well. @NadiaHashimi https://twitter.com/nadiahashimi

Thank you Carol for sharing this Interview!

Jana wrote: "Thank you Carol for sharing this Interview!"

you're welcome, Jana. so much has changed - and hasn't - since she wrote this novel.

I took a little time to watch the interview with Nadia Hashimi that you provided Carol. Thank you for that.
The part that stood out for me in her discussion was that women need allies both men and women to better their lives.

The part that stuck with me the most in this book was neither either Shekiba nor Rahima had any allies. Rahima had her Khala Shaima (her aunt) who tried to advocate for her and her sisters, but it didn't get her very far.

Sophie wrote: "I took a little time to watch the interview with Nadia Hashimi that you provided Carol. Thank you for that.
The part that stood out for me in her discussion was that women need allies both men and..."

Sophie - I completely agree. While they each had a person or two who were there for them emotionally (Shekiba's fellow guards for a bit, Rahima's Aunt), they needed Allies.

I wondered often throughout the book - are the women so distant with each other because they know it won't last? For example - if mothers get close to their daughters, they will eventually endure heartbreak when their daughters are taken to live with another family (I was shocked to learn that so few women actually keep contact with their biological families). Not to mention living in a house with toxic mother-in-laws who *finally* have some power in their lives after presumably having none, and take complete advantage. It's all sort of to be expected, in a way. Which makes it depressing, but also understandable I suppose.

Any other thoughts as we wrap up the month?

I started this one a bit late and didn't add to the discussion as much as I'd hoped - If anyone else has thoughts and would like to keep the discussion going, please feel free!

Also - if anyone enjoyed this one and wants a sort of similar recommendation (with a tiny bit more hope layered in), I really enjoyed Mornings in Jenin about a young girl growing up in a refugee camp in the newly established Israel (Palestine to her family).