2-3-4 Challenge Book Discussions #2 discussion

Both Robin and Jules believe in their love for each other and trust that deeply. But they were both holding back self doubts, Robin about his abuse at the hands of his mother and Jules’ deep rooted jealous fears. What made these issues so different that they were fearful of sharing them with one another?

Jules fears that his possessiveness will drive Robin away. This is left over from his relationship with Adam (although to me, Adam just used this as an excuse to manipulate Jules because Jules was justified in his suspicions of Adam cheating).

Like many abused children, Robin both loved and feared his mother. It is difficult to come to terms with this dichotomy, let alone to share it with someone else.

Nicely stated, Lauren. I agree.

Couldn’t say it better, Lauren.

Also, abused children never seem to get over the feeling that they did something to deserve the abuse, even if intellectually they know better.

Jonetta wrote: "Also, abused children never seem to get over the feeling that they did something to deserve the abuse, even if intellectually they know better"

Exactly! Similar to abused spouses who return to their abuser because the somehow think it is their fault.

I just finished watching the whole Surviving R. Kelly series and it’s an outstanding case study of how an abuser conditions his/her victims over time to stay loyal, even as she/he acknowledges the horror of the abuser’s actions. It’s going to take me a few days to get over what I learned but it was highly instructive.

FYI, I don’t recommend watching it now since he’s been convicted as it is highly distressing, depressing, gut wrenching and awful what was done to these “girls” by not only Kelly but the public and the people supporting him. I never understood why it was so difficult for people to believe he was a predator so I just thought it was a matter for the courts to catch up. The truth was so much worse. Thirty years from victim #1 until he was incarcerated. He was a master at grooming and conditioning.

I can't add anything more...y'all have covered it perfectly!