Inner Workings discussion

This is one of those things that fascinate me. Because there is so much compromise for any cohesion.

Co he sion (k h zh n)
1. The act, process, or condition of cohering: exhibited strong cohesion in the family unit.
2. Physics The intermolecular attraction by which the elements of a body are held together.
3. Botany The congenital union of parts of the same kind, such as a calyx of five united sepals.

Stolen from Wiki:

Group dynamics is the study of groups, and also a general term for group processes. Relevant to the fields of psychology, sociology, and communication studies, a group is two or more individuals who are connected to each other by social relationships.[1:] Because they interact and influence each other, groups develop a number of dynamic processes that separate them from a random collection of individuals. These processes include norms, roles, relations, development, need to belong, social influence, and effects on behavior. The field of group dynamics is primarily concerned with small group behavior. Groups may be classified as aggregate, primary, secondary and category groups.

Bruce Tuckman (1965) proposed the four-stage model called Tuckman's Stages for a group. Tuckman's model states that the ideal group decision-making process should occur in four stages:

* Forming (pretending to get on or get along with others);
* Storming (letting down the politeness barrier and trying to get down to the issues even if tempers flare up );
* Norming (getting used to each other and developing trust and productivity);
* Performing (working in a group to a common goal on a highly efficient and cooperative basis).

Tuckman later added a fifth stage for the dissolution of a group called adjourning. (Adjourning may also be referred to as mourning, i.e. mourning the adjournment of the group). It should be noted that this model refers to the overall pattern of the group, but of course individuals within a group work in different ways. If distrust persists, a group may never even get to the norming stage.

M. Scott Peck developed stages for larger-scale groups (i.e., communities) which are similar to Tuckman's stages of group development.[3:] Peck describes the stages of a community as:

* Pseudo-community
* Chaos
* Emptiness
* True Community

Communities may be distinguished from other types of groups, in Peck's view, by the need for members to eliminate barriers to communication in order to be able to form true community. Examples of common barriers are: expectations and preconceptions; prejudices; ideology, counterproductive norms, theology and solutions; the need to heal, convert, fix or solve and the need to control. A community is born when its members reach a stage of "emptiness" or peace

Aspects of group process include:

* Patterns of communication and coordination
* Patterns of influence
* Roles / relationship
* Patterns of dominance (e.g. who leads, who defers)
* Balance of task focus vs social focus
* Level of group effectiveness
* How conflict is handled[citation needed:]
* Emotional state of the group as a whole, what Wilfred Bion called basic assumptions.[4:]

Groups of individuals gathered together to achieve a goal or objective, either as a committee or some other grouping, go through several predictable stages before useful work can be done. These stages are a function of a number of variables, not the least of which is the self-identification of the role each member will tend to play, and the emergence of natural leaders and individuals who will serve as sources of information. Any individual in a leadership position whose responsibilities involve getting groups of individuals to work together should both be conversant with the phases of the group process and possess the skills necessary to capitalize on these stages to accomplish the objective of forming a productive, cohesive team.

Phase Task Functions Personal Relations Functions
1 Orientation Testing and Dependence
2 Organizing to Get Work Done Intragroup Conflict
3 Information-flow Group Cohesion
4 Problem-solving Interdependence

Group dynamics form a basis for group therapy, often with therapeutic approaches that are formed of groups such as family therapy and the expressive therapies. Politicians and sales personnel may use their knowledge of the principles of group dynamics to aid their cause. Increasingly, group dynamics are of interest in light of online social interaction and virtual communities made possible by the internet.

My own personal observations:

I grew up in a group. Number 4 of 6. Smack in the middle of the 12 year age spread. I was the youngest of the older kids and the oldest of the younger kids. M y role - Caretaker/Pleaser. The Good Girl who knows and follows all the rules.

In my therapy group I’ve been around a while. I’ve left and been let back in. I've watched these patterns cycle every year or so. I’m not a caretaker/pleaser. I’ve been rude and blunt and direct and called people on their shit and even unintentionally lead a revolt. Am I a leader? No I’m too selfish. Am I friends with these people? No. I don’t know any of their last names. I like some of them. I think some of them like me. My role in the group is the individual. My purpose in the group is my own recovery. If I help someone else while I’m there that’s ok. I don’t have enough time left to be playing games.

I think I related before an incident where some of the stronger personalities actually made attendance and tardiness rules for the vaguely cloaked purpose of tossing out a couple of less bright, less motivated individuals. I used my voice and opposed. The facilitator not only let this happen but when the time came he took on the responsibility of doing the tossing personally with out having the group face the individuals. I suppose it could be argued that this was a necessary step in the groups evolution, the culling of the weak. I ran into each of the outcasts individually and voiced my care and concern. I tried to encourage them to continue with their recovery.

I had passed Harry in the hall when leaving Dr. P’s office. He asked “I thought you were going to Texas?” I’m going now” I said. When I came back from vacation I’d missed three group sessions. While waiting in the hall another member said something about Harry saying he hadn’t heard from me and was worried. “I told him I was going” I replied. End of discussion as far as I’m concerned.

There must have been a confrontation or butting of heads while I was gone because there seems to be a personal vendetta going on again. The last couple of weeks waiting in the hall I guess I managed some social intercourse. Yup it’s cold. Yup it’s raining. Then the same two Strong Personalities talking about So and So being late all the time. It’s disrupting their recovery. It’s distracting. Blah Blah Blah. I don’t participate in the hall. Then group starts and “where’s So and So?” “Lock the door when group starts” “We’re concerned about your tardiness” Uhg. I get the feeling they’re trying to have control over something. Maybe they’re frustrated with the recovery process. 2 steps forward 1 step back gets old fast. This week the door gets locked. Then the knocking. Then Harry has to get up and let them in. Now the real confrontation. Same two complain. Then Harry asks for input from the rest of the group. 3 women squirming in their seats. Who do we have? The 30ish mom of twins. She kind of sits on the fringe in shock. The woman who’s husband committed suicide. She asks a lot of questions. The grandmother who keeps talking so no one can ask her any questions. So OK I’ll go first. “I feel this is a total fucking waste of my time. Are you kidding me? Are you guys all 12? I have not participated in any conversations about anyone’s attendance or tardiness and don’t intend to. I’ll remind you all that I voted in opposition of these rules. Can we move along now? Now I’m just pissed. All this time wasted. How about we talk about DEATH? I have not talked about it because it upsets people. Well that’s what I’m talking about now” And on I went. A filibuster? I talked for 40 minutes. One person got up and left. Fuck them. And I’ll keep going back. Why do I go? Because if I can’t get out of my own head once a week and see that there are people suffering through the same shit and handling the same baggage and repeating the same self-destructive response patterns I WILL go crazy.

Social Groups. We have a lot of role players. We have natural leaders and practicing leaders. We have the popular crowd. The fringe sitters. The “wankers” The comedians. The intellectuals. The earnest and sincere. The babbling idiots. The opinionated. I might fit into one or two of these roles. But I’m still an individual. A grownup who won’t be talked down to or reprimanded. I guess I could be booted. I’m not losing sleep over it.

I love this.

I'm not in any kind of group therapy setting but the dynamic you describe could happen anywhere.

The people focused on tardiness are totally avoiding the subject at hand. Much easier to focus on the shortcomings of others.

I have often wondered about my social roles, particularly lately as I begin to interact as an individual, not part of a couple and no longer have to compensate for that... I think it changes from group to group; I think I shift based on what I think the group needs. Sometimes I lead conversation; sometimes I hang back; sometimes I make food; sometimes I'm the wallflower.

Also the Group changes or dies. I'm just really interested in this. Also there is a lot of compromising going on. For instance - I don't want Scott back in the group if it would mean losing you. Or changing you. And the group would be different without you. Don't leave Shel.

Online groups are particularly interesting due to the absence of body language and overall distance, I think. And a lack of accountability - kind of like driving in cars near each other but never having direct contact.

I will have to leave if Scott comes back. He did things outside of the group to me that I just can't, and won't, put up with again. I can't just sit back and let people shit on me any more.

Even if I block him as a user so that he can't get to me directly, which I had to do on MySpace, I know that I will stop posting if he comes back... because of the way he responded to nearly everything I said, once his bullying eye was trained on me. Whether I took his bait or not he was unceasingly nasty and personal in his attacks. His behavior toward me was simply unacceptable.

It's not that big a deal, the loss of one member, by that I mean me. People seem to generally feel that he added something to the group, and if there is a consensus that people want him back badly enough they should be prepared to lose some people, too.

I think it's the wrong way to go in terms of online community building. You don't *invite back* someone who attacked other people personally, whose reputation in the group was for being a bully who contributed more heat than light, in an effort to "jump start" membership, traffic or participation. I think it will backfire.

I mean, do you re-invite someone to a party at your house when at the party preceding they broke your coffee table and got in a fight with your best friends, then plugged in their iPod and turned the volume all the way up so that no one else could hear themselves think?

You have to take care of yourself. And stand up and speak for yourself. I don't remember what happened or I missed it. I think JE deleted the final thread. I'm sorry if it comes across that people are taking sides. Who they believe or don't believe. I actually got along really well with him. Just recently he found me on facebook and yes I friended him. But his explosive outbursts, while amusing when directed at others, where not what the group needed. I think you add more value on a daily basis. You're intelligent, informed, outspoken, empathetic, openminded. And a natural leader. Well I guess it's time for the group to evolve again. I'm considering going back to myspace and opening some old doors. Let some air in and dust things off. Not meaning I wont still be here. I'm a bit voyeristic and will watch. Maybe I'll participate a little.

Shel, I don't want you to leave either! I guess I missed something pretty big on the FFiles. To the best of my recollection there were some major disagreements on politics and global warming and such... I do remember some nasty remarks from Scott and directed at Scott but clearly there is much more to the story. Please feel free to clue me in, if you wish.

I would NEVER choose a side against you or against the overall harmony of the group. I enjoy input and would never want to see anyone bullied, here or anywhere else. Perhaps my comment of missing Scott should have been phrased differently. I enjoy passion and debate... NOT ugliness.

Do you think that my comments should be clarified on the other group? Obviously it's hard to read into tone and such when communicating online. I don't want to be starting something terrible by having an offhand comment misconstrued as overall support of an unwelcome attacker.

The thing is Christy, we all do it. whenever someone obnoxious is getting ragged on one of us says where's Scott? I think it's just habit and I think it's meant as a bit of humor. Besides I don't think that kid got it half so bad as it could have been. My comments where meant to lighten it up. And I think some others tried the same. Any time a newcomer jumps in they will be tested by the group. The ones who stick around seem to have a sense of humor and don't take themselves too seriously. It seems to be normal group behaviour. I'm not answering for shel just commenting for myself.

Really, it's nothing anyone needs to know about. It was like a whole year ago. He just harassed me, that's all, and it bled into interactions within the group.

Honestly, he contributed a lot of fuel. Which is why I say he was a more heat than light member of the group.

People like that keep the lurkers coming back, keep people interacting, keep eyes on the screen. And if you respond to someone like that, you have to be prepared for what happens next. I think I just wasn't prepared for what happened next.

But now that I know what to expect, I wouldn't engage him now, were he to come back to the group.

Well said, Margaret.

Any newcomer will be tested, unfortunately.

Disagreements can be fun, but no one should be ugly for the sake of ugliness. I think our group is going through a season of change - so that it can grow and adapt to the new climate of goodreads. As a group, we are already used to each other - the sarcasm, the jokes, the different personalities - other newbies aren't.

Maybe we need to revert to being more formal and polite (but still standing our ground on a subject) when interacting with the new kids, at first anyway. Does that make sense? I'm not sure what I'm trying to say... I'm still on my first cup of coffee.

When you're the new kid at school, it takes a while to figure things out, granted. But at the same time, if you're trying to be helpful to the new kid and they push your buddy in the dirt, it's natural to want to push back.