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Rules of Civility
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Group Themed Reads: Discussions > February 2024 - Rules of Civility

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message 1: by Jayme, Moderator (last edited Jan 30, 2024 04:25AM) (new) - rated it 4 stars

Jayme | 4519 comments One of the group reads for February is Rules of Civility by Amor Towles. Please discuss the book in this thread.

Krisite will be leading the discussion.

In order to receive a badge you must:
1. Have read the book before or during February 2024.
2. Discussed it in this thread. Discussion must be more than "I read the book and I liked it". Discussion requires something more substantial and analytical of what you read, for example, thoughts, opinions, impact it had on you, what was your favorite part, was it what you expected it to be like etc. You may also like to review the book and post a link to the review in this thread. Please refer to our group spoiler policy for further information.
3. Report that you have read AND discussed the book in the reporting thread (include a brief summary of what you thought of the book).

A note on discussion: Discussion must be more than "I read the book and I liked it". Discussion requires something more substantial and analytical of what you read, for example, thoughts, opinions, impact it had on you, what was your favorite part, was it what you expected it to be like etc.

In addition to this, the group reads are meant to be a "read along" so it is preferable that you discuss the book as you read rather than wait until you've finished the book.

And finally, discussion is not about just listing your thoughts. Please interact with the other group members, comment on their thoughts, and if they comment on yours, respond to them. This is what makes a good book discussion!

You may also like to review the book and post a link to the review in this thread.

Please refer to our group spoiler policy for further information.

General Rules:
1. Please mark your spoilers with the spoiler tags along with mentioning what stage of the book you are at so other's don't get a nasty shock. Chapter numbers/titles are generally best as they are the same across all formats and editions. See our spoiler policy
2. The book may be combined with the Year Long Challenge, Topplers, and Monthly Challenges.

Happy reading!


message 2: by Kristie, Moderator (new) - rated it 4 stars

Kristie | 19137 comments Looking forward to starting this in a couple days. :)


message 3: by Katrisa (last edited Feb 01, 2024 07:07PM) (new) - rated it 4 stars

Katrisa | 4460 comments If anyone uses Chirp for audiobooks they have this one on sale for $5.99 until 2/7


message 4: by Kristie, Moderator (new) - rated it 4 stars

Kristie | 19137 comments I've been reading a book that has taken longer than I intended, so I am going to start this one today. Anyone else already reading or about to begin?


Katrisa | 4460 comments I am using this book for the yearly challenge so I have at least 3 books to finish before I get there


LoriLovesBooks | 243 comments I’ve started. Enjoying it so far.


Cherie (crobins0) | 21536 comments I started the story briefly, yesterday. Tonight, I read to Chapter Five. I thought the introduction to the story was interesting. I liked the atmosphere at the art gallery opening and the hints about a story to come, with contrasting portraits of the young man, Tinker Gray. I like Kate Kontent. (view spoiler)


Ollie (olliepoppet) | 102 comments I've read through chapter 19, and I'm enjoying it immensely. It feels a little Gastby-ish, if that makes sense? Which is a problem because I keep mixing up time periods. The picture in my head of the characters is all wrong and I know it, but I can't seem to fix it, lol.

I do wish the author had put the little tidbit about the pronunciation of her last name earlier in; I'd had it wrong the whole time.


Ammee Radebaugh | 130 comments I got the audio book and have a few books before this but I am looking forward to starting this one.


message 10: by Kristie, Moderator (new) - rated it 4 stars

Kristie | 19137 comments I made it up to chapter 5 today. (view spoiler)

I'm not sure how many of us have the physical book, but it's written in that strange manner where there are no quotation marks for dialogue. The spoken words are just preceded by a hyphen. It's a little strange to get used to, but not too bad because the hyphen still distinguishes it. In the audio, it is clear that they're speaking just because the narrator makes it obvious. You wouldn't know that the book is structured differently unless you see it.

The story up to this point has all been told from Kate's perspective, except the last couple of pages. It was told from that omnipresent perspective (and the whole bit was italicized to emphasize this). I wonder if we'll have little sections like that through out the story.


Ollie (olliepoppet) | 102 comments I just finished the story, and I'm having trouble deciding how I feel about it. The best I have is that it was Gatsby meets Rent. There were definitely twists and turns I didn't expect, and I wasn't really sure where the ending was going. But then again, I don't know that I'd consider that a particular strength in this case. My overall impression was just - meh. It wasn't bad, but it isn't going to rattle around in my brain for days, either.


Ammee Radebaugh | 130 comments I just finished a book that i am using for the yearly challenge. I tried to jump right in but i realized i need a bit of a break before jumping right in. I will start the audiobook today or tomorrow. I am looking forward to commenting in this discussion.


message 13: by Kristie, Moderator (new) - rated it 4 stars

Kristie | 19137 comments I'm in chapter 12 (45%, page 152 in my paperback) (view spoiler)


Cherie (crobins0) | 21536 comments I am just starting Chapter Eight tonight.
I agree with Olliethat it seems a little Gatsbyish in style, maybe even more like Breakfast at Tiffany’s with all of the New York City vibes. I am not sure who Rent is, but I will look it up. 🙂

Kristie - I noticed the lack of punctuation too but I have enough other books under my belt that it doesn’t bother me much. It just feels very ethereal.

The characters are very interesting. I like Katy but not Eve so much. Tinker is still an unknown.
I am on the app and can’t read spoilers.


message 15: by Kristie, Moderator (new) - rated it 4 stars

Kristie | 19137 comments I agree, Cherie. The way it is written (lack of punctuation) isn't bothering me either. There is enough indication when someone is talking to make it work. It's just different.

I find the switch of narrators when Katey isn't around works well too. The story can't be told from her perspective if she isn't there and we need those scenes. I hardly notice it in the moment, except that they are written all in italics.


Cherie (crobins0) | 21536 comments Hmm, Rent is a musical? Not sure I got that correct but there is a photographer?

I really enjoy Towles’ style of writing. He throws so much into the story. References like Brahmin bank and the Easter uprising. I love looking things up as I read! I think the character names are a crack up.
(view spoiler).


Cherie (crobins0) | 21536 comments “...the sun was just beginning to heft it’s way over the horizon as if it needed to defy gravity to do so.” I love it!


message 18: by Kristie, Moderator (new) - rated it 4 stars

Kristie | 19137 comments I think the RENT comparison could be due to them being roommates, living in New York... I don't really remember the RENT storyline, but I think it involved music, city life, trying to make a living, overcoming hardships. That sort of thing. I'm guessing it was more a general feel and some overarching themes more than picking out something specific. Ollie, maybe you could clarify or elaborate on what made you think of RENT?

Cherie, I find Towles to be a very intelligent writer. I feel there is always something you can look up while reading his books.

(view spoiler)


Katrisa | 4460 comments is there a wedding in this book by chance? My wedding book for the challenge was the one I was supposed to read before this one but the book I chose ended up not having the wedding take place so now I am on a new hunt


message 20: by Kristie, Moderator (new) - rated it 4 stars

Kristie | 19137 comments I was wondering that myself when I saw your question in the other thread, Katrisa. (view spoiler)


message 21: by Ollie (last edited Feb 08, 2024 08:14AM) (new) - rated it 3 stars

Ollie (olliepoppet) | 102 comments Kristie wrote: "I think the RENT comparison could be due to them being roommates, living in New York... I don't really remember the RENT storyline, but I think it involved music, city life, trying to make a living..."

I think there's a lot of overlap both in themes and in pacing. Rent focuses on a year in the life of a connected group of people in NYC, trying to make their ways in the world through various inter-personal issues and external hardships. There's roommates, lovers, frenemies, and a lot of weight given to the impact that other people have on our lives.

But for me, the pacing of Rent has always struggled (I know, I know - criticizing rent is musical theater sacrilege, lol). It gets so wrapped up in the million little moments that make up the characters' lives that sometimes it drags. In both the play and this book it's a really busy year. But I'm not sure we needed every detail of that business.

Just to see if anyone else's brain makes weird connections, here's the one that made me go "wait - is this Rent?" (spoiler for something in the last 1/4 of the book) (view spoiler)

Anyway, that's just my two cents.

As to there being a wedding - (view spoiler)

Oh! One thing I really, really want to give props to the author on: he writes women very well. There was nothing about Katey or Eve or any of the other women in the story that felt contrived or unbelievable. Given how many male authors struggle on that point, I think he deserves credit for realizing that women are people too, lol.


message 22: by Kristie, Moderator (new) - rated it 4 stars

Kristie | 19137 comments Yes, Ollie! I think he has great insight into women. He writes them as whole people with different personalities and interests. I love the subtleties he adds. His characters tend to be complex without feeling contrived. Very realistic.

On a side note - re: Rent sacrilege - I saw the theater performance many years ago and was less impressed than everyone I went with. I also thought it dragged at times and as I stated earlier I have even forgotten the plot line now.


Ammee Radebaugh | 130 comments I am just starting chapter 3 of the book and came across a quote that resonated with me. “Be careful what you choose to be proud of, because the world has every intention of using it against you.” I am curious to see if it just stuck out to me or if it is something repeated throughout the story.


message 24: by Kristie, Moderator (new) - rated it 4 stars

Kristie | 19137 comments I love that quote as well, Ammee. I feel it is relatable to many people.


Ammee Radebaugh | 130 comments I am just starting chapter 15 in the audiobook. I felt like it got slow around chapter 5 and didn't pick up for me again until around chapter 12. In fairness to the book though it may have just been that I am a bit more tired than usual today.

(view spoiler)


message 26: by Kristie, Moderator (new) - rated it 4 stars

Kristie | 19137 comments I'm at exactly the same place as you, Ammee. I'm enjoying (view spoiler)

I agree that the book can be slow moving at times. Probably not a good one to read when you're tired.


Ammee Radebaugh | 130 comments I am finishing chapter 19 and it has kept a good pace and has been pretty interesting. Hopefully it continues. I do think I am going to be done listening for the evening.

(view spoiler)


message 28: by Kristie, Moderator (new) - rated it 4 stars

Kristie | 19137 comments I'm in chapter 19 (page 241, 72%) (view spoiler)


message 29: by Kristie, Moderator (new) - rated it 4 stars

Kristie | 19137 comments Ammee wrote: "I am finishing chapter 19 and it has kept a good pace and has been pretty interesting. Hopefully it continues. I do think I am going to be done listening for the evening.

I was shocked to find ..."


Just read that bit, Ammee, and had to come on here to comment immediately. I didn't even finish the chapter!


Ammee Radebaugh | 130 comments I finished the story today and overall I am going back and forth with if I really like it or just think it is okay. I will say it is different than what I usually read so maybe it is just getting used to the style.

(view spoiler)


Ammee Radebaugh | 130 comments Kristie wrote: "Ammee wrote: "I am finishing chapter 19 and it has kept a good pace and has been pretty interesting. Hopefully it continues. I do think I am going to be done listening for the evening.

I was shoc..."


Right it I had to rewind and listen to it again because I was so shocked. I thought I had just misunderstood at first.


message 32: by Kristie, Moderator (new) - rated it 4 stars

Kristie | 19137 comments Finished chapter 19 and now we know why Hank (view spoiler)


message 33: by Kristie, Moderator (new) - rated it 4 stars

Kristie | 19137 comments Ammee wrote: "Kristie wrote: "Ammee wrote: "I am finishing chapter 19 and it has kept a good pace and has been pretty interesting. Hopefully it continues. I do think I am going to be done listening for the eveni..."

I'm kind of horrified...


Cherie (crobins0) | 21536 comments I just finished the end of Chapter Eleven.
(view spoiler)


message 35: by Kristie, Moderator (new) - rated it 4 stars

Kristie | 19137 comments Cherie - I'm really interested to see your thoughts after chapter 19. There have been a couple of other things that surprised me since that point.


Katrisa | 4460 comments I started today but didn't get very far. I am really just meeting the characters. I am not sure what chapter I am on because my audio tracks don't match the chapters, but I am at just over 10%


Katrisa | 4460 comments I am at 27% now. (view spoiler)


Katrisa | 4460 comments Kristie wrote: "I'm in chapter 12 (45%, page 152 in my paperback) .."
That is about where I am right now. (view spoiler)
The first Towles book I read was A Gentleman in Moscow which I absolutely adored. So while I am enjoying the writing in this book, it is not standing out for me like Gentleman did. Though there was one passage today that I thought was really great - it was where they were talking about chameleons and butterflies and something to the effect that few people can be chameleons and change completely to mirror their environment but that many of us are butterflies and have two sides that help us camouflage. I am not doing it any justice really and I was listening while on my commute so I couldn't bookmark it when it came on (one definite disadvantage to listening to books rather than eyeballing them.)


message 39: by Kristie, Moderator (new) - rated it 4 stars

Kristie | 19137 comments I remember that quote too, Katrisa, though I'd be hard pressed to actually quote it.

A Gentleman in Moscow was the first book I read by Towles as well. I also read The Lincoln Highway and loved it. Rules of Civility was actually his first novel, so I'm not surprised that it isn't quite living up to A Gentleman. I still thought it was very good.

I just read that this book was supposed to be made into a TV miniseries I think. I'm not sure if that ever happened or if is still in the works, but someone bought the rights for it to make a movie and then it was decided to do something with TV instead. I'd be interested to see what they could do with it.


Ollie (olliepoppet) | 102 comments I could definitely see it as a tv show. The characters have big enough personalities and the meat of the story is spaced out enough that an episodic format seems like a natural fit.


message 41: by Katrisa (last edited Feb 16, 2024 09:35AM) (new) - rated it 4 stars

Katrisa | 4460 comments I would watch this as a show. I also loved The Lincoln Highway


Katrisa | 4460 comments I have the day off work so I got to finish today. I really enjoyed the second half of the book. The start was a bit slow but I ended up giving the book 4 stars. (view spoiler)


Cherie (crobins0) | 21536 comments Sorry, Kristie - I am currently only in Chapter Fifteen. It has just been such a slow story that I have been working on a few crochet projects instead of reading. (view spoiler)


message 44: by Kristie, Moderator (new) - rated it 4 stars

Kristie | 19137 comments That's a great quote, Katrisa.

Cherie - I think there are some surprises ahead for you, but the pacing seemed pretty consistent.


Cherie (crobins0) | 21536 comments I am just starting on Chapter Nineteen.


Cherie (crobins0) | 21536 comments At Chapter Twenty
(view spoiler) I will keep reading. No crochet tonight. Oh, and since George was mentioned. Happy President’s Day!


Cherie (crobins0) | 21536 comments At Chapter Twenty-One
(view spoiler)


message 48: by Kristie, Moderator (new) - rated it 4 stars

Kristie | 19137 comments Cherie wrote: "At Chapter Twenty-One
[spoilers removed]"


That scene surprised me too. I was not expecting her to go there at all.


Cherie (crobins0) | 21536 comments I finished Chapter Twenty-Two during my lunch break.
(view spoiler)

I have not read any spoilers yet.


Cherie (crobins0) | 21536 comments Okay - I finished the book. I have been thinking about the whole point of it, if there is one. As a character study, I liked it, but it was slow for me. I realize that every story cannot be filled with exciting minute by minute surprises. I think my biggest problem was that I loved A Gentleman in Moscow so much and I think I wanted it again. I just finished reading all of the spoilers and noted that Kristie pointed out that RoC was his first novel. I definitely enjoyed the last half of the book more than the first, but without the first half, we would not have had the background and information on the characters to compare. (view spoiler)

I still love Towles' writing style and agree that he writes women well. I am really looking forward to The Lincoln Highway.

Thanks, Kristie, for keeping me going with the story. I did not realize how close my library book was to expiring while I was not reading. It quietly disappeared from my iPad this morning and I would have had to wait for another month to get it back.


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