Support for Indie Authors discussion

Hi everyone,

I'm looking for beta readers for my next book Fairest Beauty. It's a YA fantasy romance in which Snow White meets Robin Hood.

Here's the blurb:
I have had many names. They call me Snow White.

Marianna has suppressed her voice for seven years while the queen of Orillia held her prisoner, but when the queen orders her death, Marianna uses the power in her voice to escape. She flees into Winterfold Forest and soon finds herself at Adelaide Cottage where seven spinsters offer her refuge. Yet these women are not who they seem, and Marianna soon discovers she has more to learn from them than she thought.

She is soon introduced to Robin, leader of the Outlaws of Lincolnwood. As she joins his efforts to steal from the queen and protect Orillia’s people, she discovers that the strange power within her has the potential to defeat the queen and return freedom to Orillia. But this does not come without risk or sacrifice. The queen steals hearts and spins curses with vile magic and will stop at nothing to keep the throne in her cruel grasp.


This is my fourth book, and it's fairly polished at this point. I mostly just want feedback on things like character development, pacing, world-building, etc. I'm happy to swap manuscripts with you as long your book is roughly in the same genre. I'm not interested in reading horror, erotica, or nonfiction.

If interested, email me at hollandlucyanne@gmail.com

Thanks!

I looked at the work you've already released, so far as style. And based on what I saw, I have some recommendations.

First, you do not want writers as beta readers. You want a reader's cold-read reaction, Another writer will tend to give what amounts to, "You need to stop writing like you and write more like me." 😄

That's great if the one giving the advice is Stephen King or Nora Roberts. But if it's someone who's not selling their own work in significant numbers...

For beta you want an authentic reader response. As Sol Stein puts it: “Readers don’t notice point-of-view errors. They simply sense that the writing is bad.”

Jenni Cruisie once told an interesting story: In her novel, a woman, when washing the family car, discovers a pair of black lace crotchless panties under the driver's seat. (planted there by the woman trying to steal the husband)

Upset, she takes the panties into the kitchen to spread on her yellow countertop, where it looked like "A bat in butter." She reports that she loved that line and hoped that her regular beta readers did.

But...the very first thing those readers said when she asked how they liked the book was, "Like a bat in butter? I loved that line." And when she persisted, with, "But how did you like the story?" they repeated "Like a bat in butter? I loved that line."

Jennie removed the line because, as she reported, it took the reader out of the scene and broke the feel of the reader living the story as they read. Another writer would probably have commented on liking the line, but not reacted as those beta readers did.

Second: The novels I sampled seemed a transcription of the author playing verbal storyteller, and telling the story to the reader, as against making the reader feel it was happening to them.

It might pay to do a search on Randy Ingermanson's, article, Writing the Perfect Scene. It's a condensation of two critical techniques that can make the reader feel they are the protagonist, and living the story in real-time. I think you'll find that the way in which the Motivation-Reaction technique forces you to think as the protagonist, as against talking about her, makes both the reading and the writing more fun.

I've used readers and writers (who really are readers, too) as beta readers. Both can have merit. Readers are often too soft and will just say, "I liked it" even when coached to be brutally honest.

I have yet to have another writer say, "stop writing like you and write like me". I suppose it happens, but it doesn't seem to be the norm. If it does happen to you, Lucy, you can always disregard the advice. You don't have to do anything your beta readers suggest. You're still in charge of your own book.

I like to use a mixture of beta readers. The readers of the first and second drafts are typically not authors themselves and I ask them to focus on the overall plot and flow of the book. This can sometimes result in major changes to the book. The beta readers of the last few drafts are usually writers and they catch things like changes in POV, changes in tense and awkwardly worded sentences.

I will agree with Dwayne. Writer's can be beta readers. I do beta reading (as Dwayne knows) and I don't try and change how you write and I believe that most writers are like me--we read for fun and when beta reading, that is the mindset I have--fun and entertainment.

Yes, I'll give you some "writerly" advice on some things, but that isn't what a beta reader is supposed to do. In my use of beta readers, I given them what I'm looking for when they have read the book. Questions like: Were the characters believable? Did you mix up characters? Were there too many? Were the situations believable? What did you like about the book? What didn't you like about the book? etc.

Take the time to develop a list of questions that you need answered from a reader about what they liked and didn't like about the book. I find that works better if it isn't someone who normally beta reads.