Sharks of Awesome discussion

Coming 2016
Cletus and "Abbi"



Since Penny posted this on FB, here's the scene about Cletus:

*** BEWARE! Major spoilers (and potentially typos) ahead!!***

“How can a transmission be so expensive? I don’t got that much money to spend on a new transmission!”

Despite my best intentions, I was going to have to tell Deveron Stokes a falsehood.

“The transmission is only part of the bill. We’ll give you a deal on the transmission, Mr. Stokes. See here? Your muffler needs new bearings. And your tread fluid is running dangerously low, not to mention the undercarriage spark plugs and crank chortle.”

Crank chortle was a new one. In fact, I’d just made it up on the spot. Beau was better at this than I was, but he wasn’t here. The charlatan.

Deveron sighed, blinking rapidly at the bill on the counter between us; he frowned then shook his head. “Well, alright then. I mean, I guess the car does need a lot of work. I appreciate the deal on the transmission.”

I nodded somberly. I was good at somber nodding. It was probably my best, most well received kind of nod. People always felt comforted when I did it, so I employed it liberally.

Mr. Stokes lifted his eyes. “You’re a good friend, Cletus.”

I nodded somberly again, but said nothing. Mr. Stokes wasn’t my friend. Mr. Stokes wasn’t a nice person. He hadn’t paid his child support in six years, but always managed to stay well stocked in whisky, women, and cigarettes. However, even before I’d been told this unsavory fact about Mr. Stokes, I didn’t like the man.

I don’t like to judge people.

I love it.

Truth be told, writing people off is liberating.

First impressions are typically correct. At least all my first impressions are correct. This is because I employ a very scientific approach to forming impressions and was born with infallible logic.

I allot ten minutes. If I don’t have ten minutes, I’ll put off forming an impression until such a window of time is available. I never deviate from the ten minute rule. I once put off forming an opinion about our new pastor for six months because I hadn’t found the ten minutes all together required.

My momma didn’t like the fact that I refused to look at the man over those months, but you can’t bend or distort the scientific method. It’s sacred. And ten minutes is all I’ve ever needed to sum up the character of any given person.

For the first five minutes, I don’t look at him or her. I close my eyes, or study my feet, or glance to one side. In this way I delay forming an opinion based on his outward appearance.

I extend my hand—every single time—see what kind of grip she gives me. Is it limp? Too tight? Tentative?

I listen to her voice and his vocabulary, the lexicon of their thoughts. Is she confident? Learned? Pompous? What subjects does he bring up? Is she interested in talking only about herself? Or does he shy away from notice?

After the five minutes of passive listening is over, I interrupt the conversation to ask what kind of car he or she drives. Then (and only then) do I look at the person. It’s not the car that matters. It’s how he talks about the car. You can tell a lot by how a person talks about his car. Proud? Embarrassed? Ambivalent?

The answer to this question typically takes anywhere between ten seconds and five minutes. By the end of this motoring monologue I’ve made up my mind.

Of course I love my neighbor. My momma brought me up right. I certainly see the wisdom in loving neighbors, and doing unto others, and being nice for the sake of being nice. I just chose to love my neighbors from afar. I prefer long distance relationships, where speaking and listening don’t occur with frequency.

I only have time for twenty-four people (tops) in my life, and I already have six siblings. Twenty four people is an average of two birthdays a month. Ain’t nobody got time for more than two birthday celebrations a month. That’s a lot of cake, and I’m particular about my cake.

But back to Deveron Stokes and his transmission.

He was rubbing his neck, frowning at the bill. “The thing is, Cletus. I, uh, I don’t have the money at present to pay for all this work.”

I nodded, more thoughtfully than somberly this time. “Well now, Deveron, you have two options. You can tow the car out of the parking lot at your own expense until you do have the money. Or maybe we could work out some sort of agreement.”

I was not surprised. In fact, I'd been counting on him reneging on payment.

The bell over the door chimed as it opened, announcing the entrance of a new customer. I tilted to the side, looking around Deveron to see who’d entered.

It was Jethro, my oldest brother. Next to him was a tall woman I didn’t recognize. I made a point to avert my eyes before I could comprehend too much of her exterior.

“What kind of agreement?” Deveron asked, looking mighty shifty.
“Oh, nothing untoward, Mr. Stokes.” That was another falsehood.

Mr. Stokes was a presser at the dry cleaners, though he was paid under the table and wasn’t technically on staff—another way to avoid child support. The first favor required of Mr. Stokes would be to put itching powder in Jackson James’s starched police uniform. Officer James had made the mistake of pulling me over last week for no reason when I was not in the mood to be pulled over.

A small number of plagues would befall the Sheriff’s Deputy over the coming weeks. I’d considered leprosy via an armadillo infestation, but decided against it. Maybe next time.

Mr. Stokes swallowed nervously. “Well… I guess. I mean, sure. Anything you need, Cletus.”

I grabbed a set of keys from behind the counter along with rental car paperwork, and placed them between us. “Good. I have a few favors in mind. We’ll work out the details later, but I’ll need them done before we start work on your truck. In the meantime, I’ll be happy to offer you one of the shop’s cars as a loaner at the rate of ten dollars a day, paid up front in cash.”

Deveron Stokes nodded nervously. He wasn’t a nice man, but he wasn’t devoid of brain cells either. He withdrew his wallet, handed me over a hundred dollar bill—like I said, well stocked in whiskey, women, and cigarettes—then grabbed the key and the paperwork. He turned to one of the chairs scattered around the small sitting area and began scribbling on the sheet.

All of our loaner cars were 1990’s Dodge Neon sedans. I kept a fleet of them standing by and in good working order for customers like Deveron Stokes. We had a lot of customers like Deveron Stokes.

Without a glance, I motioned my brother and the tall woman forward as I busied myself writing notes on Mr. Stokes’ repair quote. “Greetings, Jethro. What brings you to our humble shop of auto fixery?”

“Hey, Cletus. I wanted to introduce you to Shelly Sullivan. She’s new in town and looking for work as an auto-mechanic.”

My frown was automatic—not because I was displeased, but because I was surprised. I barely controlled the urge to take a visual assessment of this woman mechanic. They were a few and far between breed.

“Please to meet you, Miss Sullivan.” I said to the counter.
“Mr. Winston.”

My frowned deepened because her voice was… well, truth be told, it was odd. Direct, husky, like she wasn’t used to speaking and disliked doing so. She was from up north. I decided Boston. But her accent was light, near imperceptible.

I made a show of checking through the work-order in front of me. “Tell me about yourself, Miss Sullivan.”

I didn’t need to glance up to know Jethro was grinning. He was used to my modus operandi, often found it amusing. I wouldn’t be surprised if he’d prepared Miss Sullivan for the process because she didn’t seem to be offended by my lack of eye contact.

“I’ve been welding since fourteen and fixing up cars since about the same time. Everything I know is self-taught, based on trial and error, or research. And I’m very good at it.”

I lifted my eyebrows, waiting for her to continue. She did not.
“Anything else?” I prompted.

“Nothing relevant,” she responded.

Despite my tendency to keep a sharp rein on all outward expression, I smiled. I liked her use of the word relevant. It meant she considered relevancy before volunteering information. You can’t teach people how to do that.

Jethro cut in, “Do you remember Quinn Sullivan? Ashley’s friend Janie’s husband? The real pretty redhead?”

“Quinn wasn’t a pretty redhead. As I recall he was a real pretty brown head.”

“No, dummy,” Jethro grumbled. “Janie was the pretty redhead, not Quinn. Shelly here is his sister.”

“Ah.” I nodded, my eyes still downcast. I didn’t mind nepotism as long it was deeply entrenched in meritocracy. Quinn was a practical sort, short on words, big on actions. I liked him just fine. If he’d lived nearby, I might have gone to his birthday party.

Now was the time to shake her hand, so I extended mine and she slid her palm against it. Her hand was big—for a woman—long fingers roughened with callouses. Her grip was firm, succinct, and self-assured. But I only noticed these details peripherally because an enigmatic shock of something passed up my arm as our skin made contact.

Then I broke my sacred scientific rules because I was startled.

I looked up.

I looked at Miss Shelly Sullivan.

And, by Tesla’s oscillator! The woman was beautiful.

~END SCENE~

Should we speculate that "Abbi" isn't really Abbi, but some cover name to surprise us? I'm suspicious about this right now... Penny tried to throw me off the scent of Shelley. I don't know what to believe. O.o

Oooh that's good Shannon and Ally. Chances are it's an alias. I can't wait to find out who Cletus falls for!

Shannon, as you said, it would be an alias!! Chanpreet, I can't wait for this one!!!

I am so happy it is Cletus. Cletus is my man. lol

Me too!

YES!! I was just thinking that something potentially hazardous would burst if I didn't get at least a glimpse of Cletus's undoubtably one-of-a-kind falling for what is of course a one-of-a-kind gal

Cletus is Wonderful!!! Can't wait for His book. sigh Actually they are all wonderful and funny!!

Okay, I only started Truth or Beard yesterday but I could NOT stop thinking that Cletus is perfect for Shelly. They are like Mechanical Genius Vulcans, which is seriously HOT in my book! Can't wait. :)

Viktoria wrote: "Okay, I only started Truth or Beard yesterday but I could NOT stop thinking that Cletus is perfect for Shelly. They are like Mechanical Genius Vulcans, which is seriously HOT in my ..."

Definitely! Happy reading! This series is awesome.

Kari wrote: "Ok, I'm confused. Did anyone else read Penny's newsletter she just sent out? It has a preview/spoiler for Beard Science. And it makes it sound like there is a different love interest than originall..."

Yes, I read the preview/spoiler. I still think Shelly will be Cletus' lady love; they are just too damn perfect for each other. I think the woman in the spoiler wants Cletus for one or more of his many other skills but not romantically.

That's how I read it any way. Can't wait to see what shenanigans Cletus gets up to this time!!!

Viktoria wrote: "Kari wrote: "Ok, I'm confused. Did anyone else read Penny's newsletter she just sent out? It has a preview/spoiler for Beard Science. And it makes it sound like there is a different love interest t..."

But why would it be in her voice though? The books have always been in two POV, the brother and the heroine. So that is what threw me off.

Do you follow Penny on Facebook? I went there to find answers :) She clarified a little bit.
https://www.facebook.com/PennyReidWri...

It sounds like Shelly is not his love interest....
This is what she said in response to a reader asking if the heroine changed, "The heroine did not change! This has always been the plan. I'm just not above misdirecting my readers for my own evil, nefarious purposes. :-) <3 (BUT I REALLY DO LOVE YOU!! :-D )"

So... I guess we have our answer... :)

Guys!! There's a big, spoilery excerpt from Beard Science in Penny's last newsletter!!! Have you read it yet?? I really can't wait!!

I honestly did not expect her to be his lady love, but I'm really excited. I really liked her in Grin and Beard It.

Kari wrote: But why would it be in her voice though?

Damn! Didn't think of that.

Dear Cletus,
I make the best banana cake west of the Mississippi. Just saying.
oxoxoxo
-V

The lady that is Cletus love interest isJennifer"banana bread" from the first Wiston brother's book.

I meant banana cake

Well, Jennifer as the heroine is a surprise. I also thought Shelly was going to be the heroine.

The newsletter did cause me to panic as the release date is printed as October 2017... thankfully that's a typo.

Read 2/3s of Beard Science last night before my husband made me come to bed. Seriously this book is just awesome and I have to drag myself through three boring meetings today before I can pick it up again!!! Jennifer and Cletus are my new fave romantic couple. Who needs Darcy when you've got Cletus????

The Sausage King. The Banana Cake Queen. Sausage Pie. Hilarious, I loved every delicious innuendo about muffins and pie and moist cake. Jennifer is worthy of our Cletus, ladies! She's just as smart and witty and devious in her own way. Well done Penny!

Loved Beard Science! Loved Cletus and Jennifer and the story was amazing... Aside from their going-ons, blackmails and hilarity I particularly loved the Jennifer/Shelly scene... Loved it, loved it LOVE IT! (excitement here, bear with me) Anyone else feel the same?

While I haven't had time to review it, I will confess to reading it three times. So much love.

namericanwordcat wrote: "While I haven't had time to review it, I will confess to reading it three times. So much love."

Yeah wondercat... I def want to read it again & again. I just LOVE that so many did the write in vote & Beard Science got thru to the semis ;)
*Hello to Sharks! I'm new to this group :) *waves*

Welcome!

namericanwordcat wrote: "Welcome!"

Thanks! it took me a couple of years to catch on to PR's mention of this group ;)

Me too!

Hi all, I hope it is okay but I have to share my experience with you. Ive been listening a song for days and days now at work and every time it comes up on my playlist it reminds me of Cletus and Jennifer. so I decided to look the band up and they look exactly how I imagined them. I am shocked.
look them up. Linus Young and the song is Valentine. :)

Martina wrote: "Hi all, I hope it is okay but I have to share my experience with you. Ive been listening a song for days and days now at work and every time it comes up on my playlist it reminds me of Cletus and J..."

I looked them up and they do look like Cletus and Jennifer! Wow.

Also, great song. Thanks for sharing. :)

Viktoria wrote: "Martina wrote: "Hi all, I hope it is okay but I have to share my experience with you. Ive been listening a song for days and days now at work and every time it comes up on my playlist it reminds me..."


I couldn't believe my eyes when I first looked them up :D