Beta Reader Group discussion

Hi everyone! I’ve noticed lots of views on book blurbs but not much feedback, so I’d love your input. I’m seeking opinions on two blurbs for a horror novel set on the Oregon coast. Please read Blurb 1 and Blurb 2 below and let me know:

Which one you prefer (1 or 2) and why it stands out to you.

Which blurb would make you want to learn more about the book or pick it up to read.

Any thoughts on your process for choosing books—how do blurbs influence your decision?

Your feedback will help me refine this, and I’d greatly appreciate your time and insights. Thank you!

Blurb 1:
A relentless evil awakens on the Oregon coast, where the past refuses to stay buried.
Eric Trask, a man haunted by a heritage he’s tried to outrun, races down Highway 101, summoned by a grandmother he hasn’t seen in years. But the storm-swept road to Nestucca is a gauntlet of terror—an ancient evil stirs, its hunger threatening to devour everything in its path. Shadowy figures with piercing amber eyes stalk the night, their whispers chilling Eric’s blood as they call him by a name he’d buried long ago: Sk’wii-ts’a.
As the cliffs loom and the tempest rages, Eric must face the nightmare that binds him to this supernatural horror—a malevolent force tied to his Siletz lineage, waking every three centuries to claim its due. With time running out, he must unravel the mystery of his family’s pact or become its next victim. In this heart-pounding clash of suspense and dread, survival hangs by a thread. Will Eric conquer the darkness, or will the shadows claim him forever?
Prepare for a breathless journey into terror—where every mile could be your last.

Blurb 2:
Beneath the Spouting Horn’s roar, a ravenous evil awakens on the Oregon coast.
Eric Trask races down Highway 101, summoned to save the grandmother who raised him—a Siletz elder fading under a blood curse. Haunted by a tribal heritage he’s tried to bury, he’s stalked by child-things with piercing yellow eyes, their unholy murmurs chanting a name he’d forsaken: Sk’wii-ts’a.
Joined by a seer wielding coastal chants and a sheriff embracing ancestral mysticism, Eric follows a cryptic elder’s cursed map to unearth Taka’s sacred staff—a relic to bind the Duu-wa, a malevolent force tied to an ancient tribal pact. Aided by a mystical wolf pack, they defy a traitor’s shadow lurking among them, racing against time to break the curse before it devours all. In this heart-pounding descent into horror, every mile tests their fragile hope.
Will Eric conquer the specter of his lineage, or will the Duu-wa’s fetid hunger claim them forever?
Embark on a terrifying saga of Siletz secrets—where the past claws back, and survival is a desperate vow.

Looking forward to your thoughts!

Hi, Todd. Blurbs are notoriously hard to write - and to be honest, I tried to write blurbs for clients for a short time and ended up hating sitting down at my workstation - so I feel your pain.

Which one you prefer (1 or 2) and why it stands out to you. I couldn't even finish #1. The verbiage was too dense and it was too long.

Which blurb would make you want to learn more about the book or pick it up to read. I finished #2 and felt I was actually interested in learning more, so my vote is for #2.

Any thoughts on your process for choosing books—how do blurbs influence your decision? I read blurbs when I Iook for my next read, but mostly to check for characteristics that I'm looking for, like the author's writing style, does the blurb go on forever, what are the stakes for the main character. I don't pay much attention to covers. If I'm not familiar with the author's work, then comes the reading of the reviews.

Let me know if this generates more questions, and good luck with the book!

I read both of them slowly and carefully, and I prefer #2 as well. However, they're both very dense with a lot of unnecessarily complex verbiage, which makes reading them heavy and slow. This sounds like a thriller, and I'm not that familiar with the genre, but a blurb this plodding gives the opposite impression of a thriller, which would likely make me put it down.

My only suggestion is to run through the second blurb again with the aim to simplify the language for snappier presentation.

Antonia wrote: "I read both of them slowly and carefully, and I prefer #2 as well. However, they're both very dense with a lot of unnecessarily complex verbiage, which makes reading them heavy and slow. This sound..."

thank you very much for the feedback

Sue wrote: "Hi, Todd. Blurbs are notoriously hard to write - and to be honest, I tried to write blurbs for clients for a short time and ended up hating sitting down at my workstation - so I feel your pain.

Wh..."
thank you very much for the feedback and to answer your question... I typically choose books only on the blurb and the first paragraph of the first chapter for the same reasons you outlined. I also will read anything from an author that I have loved to read in the past. Funny story, blurb 2 is my favorite too but in other medias where I posted to with non writers they overwhelmingly have chosen number 1. Both of these posts have me thinking that I need to dumb down my writing though haha. This is my new hobby for retirement and only for myself and family but I don't want it to be too much. I hope more readers from this site comment :)- thanks again

Hi todd,
I prefer 2 and i agree with previous comments about the blurbs having too much verbiage. In detail:
Blurb 1: felt heavy and murky to read. It wasn't bad but it wasn't good
Blurb 2: This one felt much lighter and more engaging to read and i almost felt like i would read this book if it were me.
Overall: both blurbs contained too much information in my opinion. Maybe its because I'm comparing your blurb to other author's blurbs but your was essentially revealing the whole plot in a few words. in my opinion read the blurbs of your favourite books and books to read, study each of their blurbs and you will feel inspired. You do not have to take my word as i am a high school student.
Thank you