Play Book Tag discussion

Last I saw, we had a huge Buddy Read Interest for My Friends for our June Summer Theme... Who might be in? Let yourself be known, so we can figure out how and when to talk about the book without spoiling it but to be able to enjoy and talk about it together... Who else is in?

Amy
Jason
Nancy
Robin
JoyD
Sarah
Elara
Sue
Cheryl
Holly
Diana
HayJay

I just got the audiobook and I should be able to get it in this month.

Yay Robin!!!

I'm in!

I’m in

I'm in!

I grabbed My Friends on release day— the book had that just-published scent (+ literary gravity). I now have a 50-page head start but happy to pace myself with the group.

Looking forward to dissecting it with... my friends.

Feel free to comment as you read, even if others are behind. Just add spoiler covers when you get past the first couple chapters.

Just realized that a task I created for the Seasonal Reading Challenge includes "shorts or swimsuit on the cover" and this works perfectly!

I'm going to try to get a copy and join in.

This is exciting - and so glad we have some newer members joining us as well!

I'm in too!

The library had come through with a book for me a week ago. I've read almost half of it and wish that I liked it more. I'm finding it to be dark and have put it aside for now.

I'd like to join in the buddy read with all of you and will resume reading when you catch up.

I'm in!

Add me to the list Amy! Book of the month had this as an add on for May so I’ve got a copy all ready to go!

You're all in there up top! Just want to say how pleased I am to have HayJay back for the Summer!!! We have to read a few things together and Melanie Joy has some ideas....

Love our giant very popular very interesting Buddy Read and love that we have some new members joining us as well.

For those that have already started. What is first impression. Where do you think the story is going?

Amy wrote: "You're all in there up top! Just want to say how pleased I am to have HayJay back for the Summer!!! We have to read a few things together and Melanie Joy has some ideas....

Love our giant very pop..."

Send me a DM with what you and Melanie Joy are thinking and I'll see if anything strikes an interest. I just went through my actual Goodreads shelf and my phone list and now have an extensive list of summer tagged books to pull from!

I’m going to find the list that Melanie Joy sent me, and I’m literally going to take a photo of it, and text it to you. I believe we already knocked one off. And I’m about to start the second because there’s a good one for summer.

I am planning to read the book this week. As you all know, I am not good at reading slowly. I will be following the discussion as others get to it, and chime in where appropriate. :-)

I might also start soon, but I've become a little disenchanted with Backman after his Anxious People story, so I don't want to rain down on anyone's parade with negative thoughts. But probably the author deserved a second, or third chance from me.

I have loved them all, but I especially loved Anxious People.

I have just finished and loved the book. The author Q&A at the end is hilarious!

When you finish the book, I would recommend the Barnes & Noble interview on YouTube

Finished the book and enjoyed it very much. I think one of the themes, "art needs friends," is particularly relevant in today's world. I also think it is best experienced without knowing too much about the story ahead of time.

My Friends by Fredrik Backman - 4* - My Review
PBT Review: https://www.goodreads.com/topic/show/...

I know that I'm an outlier about the novel, but I didn't like it and decided to not finish it after reading 206 pages. Here is my review. https://www.goodreads.com/review/show...

2 stars

My compass spin is sending me to Sweden next! Perfect timing. I’ll probably wait until my readathon is over, so I won’t need to rush.

Holly R W wrote: "I know that I'm an outlier about the novel, but I didn't like it and decided to not finish it after reading 206 pages. Here is my review. https://www.goodreads.com/review/show...

2 stars"

I can understand your perspective, Holly. There is a lot of difficult material in this one.

@Joy, the amount of abuse in the story got to me.

Holly, you're not alone in this reaction: I've started reading this evening, and after two or three chapters I feel like I'm already drowning in a sea of tears. Some character or other bursts into uncontrollable crying on almost every page. Words like misery-porn jump to mind, but I don't want this to be the first book I abandon in the last five or six years. Not after writing a glowing review for 'A Man Called Ove' and adding it to my favorites shelf.

Algernon, in an interview that I watched with the author, Backman termed this book the darkest one he ever wrote. His wife told him to lighten it up to make it more palatable for readers.

I have to wonder if he might have been depressed himself.

I'll be interested in your reactions as you get farther along.

Fredrik Backman has been very open about his struggles with depression, and it has been with him since he was very young.

I am just starting the audio. I really liked Anxious People after the first part where everyone seemed like an idiot. Later, it's obvious why they did that. I also have listened to A Man Called Ove, My Grandmother Asked Me to Tell You She's Sorry, and Britt-Marie Was Here, all of which I liked.

I am always surprised to find that countries like Sweden have issues with poverty, foster care, abuse of women and children, etc. I found that in the Girl Who series too. In the US, many of us think Sweden is an egalitarian paradise.

Algernon (Darth Anyan) wrote: "Holly, you're not alone in this reaction: I've started reading this evening, and after two or three chapters I feel like I'm already drowning in a sea of tears. Some character or other bursts into ..."

You are right about the beginning, but I realized all of Backman's books start in sadness - Ove was trying to kill himself! But there's only one way to go from there. They are all about found families, and it seems like this is going that direction too.

I'm almost halfway through and it's still terribly depressing with foreshadowing of more misery to come. If this were my first book by Backman, I would quit and not read anything else by him.

Robin P wrote: "Algernon (Darth Anyan) wrote: "Holly, you're not alone in this reaction: I've started reading this evening, and after two or three chapters I feel like I'm already drowning in a sea of tears. Some ..."

I started reading it yesterday, so I haven't gotten too far into it yet. But as you said, Robin, Backman often chooses to go from the depths of darkness to the bright light within people. So I'm going to keep reading, hoping he doesn't disappoint.

One of the themes I found in the book is being in the present. Enjoying the Nows, as he mentions in the book. That even when things seem bleak and life is hard and life is long, nows exist full of laughter and special moments.

It eventually becomes more positive/optimistic, but it takes quite a while, if that helps any....

I'm at the 62% mark on my reader, and it is still gloomy with heavy foretelling of more imminent deaths.

Aaarghh, I'm still waiting for the light also. So tempted to quit. If I had a print copy, I could skim ahead, but I am doing audio. I have it speeded up a bit, but it's still way too slow.

It seems like all the middle-class and upper-class people are mean or oblivious, only the working-class and poor are sensitive and kind to each other.

Do we have any Swedish members who can tell us if alcoholism, child neglect, and brutality are really that common? Even 25 years ago, it seems hard to believe.

I think Backman is very careful here to hide the actual locations / countries where events take place. They are all generic because he sees this book as a modern fable, the creation of new myths for the younger generation.
Whether he succeeds or not is up to each reader.
My take so far is that he is drawing lines in the sand and declaring: this is my side, we are the good people and that is your side, you are the bad people. We must be at war because the middle ground is cancelled and whoever is not fully engaged with our narrative must be our sworn enemy.
Adults, art critics and rich people fall in the second category and are all evil and bullies.
All teenagers and all deviant personalities are heroes.
All of this this is spelled out programmatically in the first chapter.
The rest of the novel is a thousand thousand words to paint the picture that fits the message.

It must be wonderful to see the world only in these two shades of black and white. Unfortunately, we are witnessing the terrible real life results of the 'my way or the highway' mentality in current world events.

I had a slightly different reaction. I don't see it as black and white thinking. I see it as an ode to creativity. Many (maybe even most) creative people face huge challenges to acceptance and pressures to conform. I know from personal experience that this is an issue, especially during teen years. I am not sure why he included all the alcohol abuse and child neglect, but it seems he may have been in a dark place when he wrote it.

My take on the theme for the book is that "art needs friends." In our current state of elimination of funding for the arts, particularly in the US, I think it is a relevant and important message.

Robin P wrote: "Aaarghh, I'm still waiting for the light also. So tempted to quit. If I had a print copy, I could skim ahead, but I am doing audio. I have it speeded up a bit, but it's still way too slow.

It seem..."

Robin, I am a social worker by training. Here in the U.S. at least, I know that alcoholism and drug abuse, mental illness and child abuse/neglect are found in all classes, races and ethnicities. I certainly don't know about Sweden, but if Backman is writing about it, my guess is that these maladies are part of their society too.

My work life was spent addressing these ills with families and children affected by them. A small part of my work was spent in the E.R. and so, I saw (real life and in person) the terrible things people do to each other. This is what led me to stop reading.

I thought that Backman wrote with a heavy hand.

I was finally able to start this one over the weekend.

I got up to the cruel art teacher and I just can't do it anymore. It's clear that bad things are in store for at least 2 more characters. I know that misery like this exists but I didn't expect so much of it from this author. I actually returned the audiobook to get my credit back from Audible.

I think that's when I bailed too, Robin. I remember the cruel art teacher.

So far, the abuse didn’t disturb me as much as other books I read about foster kids and abused kids, in the US and elsewhere. Abuse happens everywhere, it’s not unique to Sweden, and it isn’t a dominant theme in other Backman books.

The mean art teacher stood out to me too. I hated him! Granted, the father that punches his wife and son is worse, but he seemed like a stock character to me. It’s such a common story. Bad teachers can be abusive without leaving visible marks. The descriptions of the art teacher and the school custodian had more interesting details. I liked the contrast between these two characters.

The saving grace for all these kids is that they had each other. The support of friends is really powerful, and they were able to spend a lot of time together. Many kids suffer in isolation, or worse, get even more abuse from other kids.

I know there are probably more bad things ahead, but I see the good things happening too.

The janitor seems to be the only helpful adult. Otherwise, absolutely no adult can be trusted (or like some of the mothers, they mean well but have too much of their own to deal with.) Also, there are multiple stories about other kids in school being mean, even deliberately cruel, and no other kids ever stick up for this group.

I am daunted about starting. I love Frederick Backman, and have adored every single one of his books. But between the length and the alleged sadness, darkness and violence, its daunting. Its the third next up, likely starting near June's end... I think I am just going to give myself permission to see how its going for me. I do however, have the feeling I am going to end up by its end being in the 5 star camp. But we shall see how it unfolds.